20090107

Aaaa, need to get this out

In fact I have so much to say that I am writing my topics down before I start so I don't forget! Dad sick, feeling about that, planet, mean text, job.

Okay, so I have a friend whose dad has had lung cancer. After a long battle he is nearly at the point of that battle being over. Just found out today that he has tumors in his brain. It's just frustrating that someone can fight so long and it doesn't matter in the end, he still gets hit!

To move on, but not too far, this friend and her father (with new tumors) have moved apart in the relationship of father-daughter. She said that she is upset, but not as upset as she should be. She looked to me for an answer. I couldn't say anything. I remember hearing that my dad had 2 weeks left. It hurt to hear, and at the same time it felt relieving. I don't have time to elaborate; but I wish I could tell her something of substance. I couldn't.

This made us wish we had our own planet. I really need one. I hate being alone, but sometimes it's nice to be on a planet where no one can hurt you, no one can say mean things, no one can remind you of bad things, no one can scare you, no one can do anything you don't want them to do!

Speaking of people being mean, I sent a text message to my friend Shane, who is in the hospital, to see if it was okay to text him (it costs a lot for him to text back, bit it's not extra for me to text him, I wasn't sure if he was charged for incoming texts). I didn't hear from him so I texted back to ask if was really okay...well he texts back to yell at me! I mean jebus, that's what I get for trying to be nice?

So onto my last topic, my job. The market is slow, we don't have much work. I can't say I've heard anything because it's hearsay; but impending layoffs are around the corner. I can only hope it won't happen. What will I do if I lose my job? Obviously get a new one, and maybe it's a new leaf overturned in my life; but it's very scary. Change is very scary.

Okay, now that it is all off my chest, I think I'll shower and drink Nyquil and go to bed. I hope life improves for everyone and that things are less scary. I don't like being scared.

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