20090204

Dali Painting with Gyo Obata

Everything feels surreal today, like I stepped into a Dali painting. I keep thinking that I will wake up from a Nyquil® induced dream. Time keeps going though, so I know it’s real.

I started the morning by staying in bed. I had been there since 4:30 the evening before and it seemed like a good place to stay. By 8 a.m. I had realized that I actually had stuff to do at work. One of those things was mentoring young students in a Job Shadow program. The other thing was a meeting for a group called the Emerging Professionals at HOK where we got to interview Gyo Obata, the O in HOK. I had looked forward to the Obata q & a for some time actually, so I dragged myself out of bed and showered, gathered my things and headed into the office. I think while I was standing in the shower weeble-wobbling back and forth that I realized I was in no condition to function today. I had checked my e-mail before leaving to prepare for the day and saw a message from my nephew who thinks I might not know who he is. If you have ever felt inadequate as a human being you know how I felt at that very moment when my family members think I might not know them because I am a lame slacker aunt! Anyway, the drive to work felt really slow and long. I was very tired and wanted to sleep, it took everything I had to stay awake. It was at this point that I realized I always underestimate my ailments. I pulled into the overpriced parking garage, searched for a spot, pulled in and let myself close my eyes for just a few moments. I grabbed my phone and noticed a missed call from my coworker Crystal. I found it odd because she knew I was coming in late, and she would normally text me, I stood for a moment wondering if it was a sign of bad news that meant I should just go back home, but I thought, “what the hell, I’m already here, I’m going in”. I had walked into Met. Square, the office building that houses the HOK headquarters, and before I even got to the elevators I met three of my coworkers out the door to grab Starbucks coffee. I think it was the sadness in their faces that let me know everything was awry, but when Steve, my boss, started talking in a crackly-close-to-tears voice I knew things were bad. He informed me that Chris, my coworker had been laid off that morning. He took it badly, which always makes things worse. I didn’t know how to act; I instantly went into a coping mood, and felt the urge to console, knowing that this is not the end of the world. Maybe it was my medicated haze, or maybe I just don’t care, but I really felt the need to get past this point in time; I wanted to fast forward to get over it. It really did drag on for what seemed like hours! I was informed in this escapade that more layoffs are to come, that our small structures group does not have the income to sustain our staff; I can only hope to dodge another bullet. Trying to mentor students in a positive way was a difficult task. Listening to Gyo was refreshing.

So now, here I am, still dazed, still confused, and still emotionless thinking (knowing) I should have stayed in bed. I’m mentally preparing myself for layoffs as now two of my close coworkers/friends have been affected by this stalled economy. My buddy Mike is having surgery today for his gall bladder, I wish him the best. To Luke, I have an answer for you, I just need to respond still; to Holly I am sorry I am such a slacker sister that you children think I won’t know them; I am sorry for not wishing people a happy birthday on time; I am sorry people have to lose their jobs; I am sorry for seeming emotionless today. If it counts at all, nothing has flavor, colors are dull, and everyone sounds quiet.

Onto more routine things like the word of the day . . . .

Friend with benefits: A friend with whom you are allowed sexual activity but no true relationship. The benefit is purely sexual and not tied with feelings.

In use: Jane and I are friends with benefits.

Until next time . . .

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