..thunk-thunk..thunk-thunk..thunk-thunk...that's the sound of my plaid chucks as they slap the concrete walkways of the empty office. They seem louder than normal, probably because it's so quiet, but also perhaps because I walk with a heavy thud when I'm depressed. I shouldn't be depressed, after all I ran a lot this weekend. Yesterday I did my first 5k, today I ran 2 miles. This entire weekend I've eaten more chocolate than I ever should have thought about consuming for an entire month [but really that is a depressing thought]. I even got some shopping done for clothes that fit a bit better!
But, alas, I am depressed. I've worked most of the weekend on a building that I am starting to hate [cantilevers are the bane of my existence]. I'd love to talk more about it, but due to some confidentiality contracts, I can't tell you anything about it.
I'm also really worried about my friend Shane. I haven't heard from him in some time. I don't expect to hear from him; I won't really ever hear from him until he needs something from me. It's sort of how it works, user (him), usee (me)...I'm sure some of you can relate to at least being one or the other, dragged along in some hopeless charade. That is despite the point; my point is that normally he at least checks his e-mail and responds with some insignificant arrogant remark; often he at least posts some video of some song to entertain himself; or perhaps at least signs in to myspace. I haven't seen him around anywhere. That worries me, I hope he is okay and perhaps just busy! I fear he could be in the hospital, which is not unheard of for him. I fear worse that he could be [gulp] dead. I know, I know, I know..."stop being a mom", stop thinking the worst", "gosh, can't a guy just get some air", "let go"....but when I'm having nightmares about it, I think you should understand it's a bit harder to just stop worrying than you think it is for me.
You've been there right, worrying? A lump in your throat, the constant inability to focus on a task, the chest aches...
I'm being silly right? Tell me I'm being a silly over-protective friend!
ANYWAY, back to anything else to talk about...I'm back at the office, to work in the dark, in the heat, and alone [the best way to be]. I have a mental list of things to hammer out before I leave tonight [that is a great visual, me, my hammer in hand, beating things to total uselessness, if you could only see my awful smirk].
I've got to get to it, so perhaps I will write more later, but until then, here is a word for the weekend's end...
reefy: Cool or awesome. Often preceded by "so" and used by surfers.