Collapsed Tunnel Embiggens the Despair

I tell myself that there is an end to the tunnel, but I haven't seen it yet, and I'm somehow sure I'm collapsed inside! I did get some good advice from Mike C. though. He says I should "suck the dampness from [my] hair for [water] 'til the rescuers come find [me]".

There's no denying that I'm stressed out. The canker sores and pound of chocolate that I've recently eaten are sure signs! I haven't had time to write and I find it aggravating. If I find it to the end of the tunnel having survived the odds, I will be amazed by myself!

So I s'pose I could update you on a few things that have come and gone since I last recall writing...
    A boy climbed into a balloon and floated away...but not really. It was a hoax.

    I moved to a new desk at work.

    I camped in freezing cold weather that was the epitome of pure camping weather.

    I watched mass leaf suicide the Sunday we left camping as all the frost covered leaves jumped to their untimely deaths.

    I've been given a "second chance".

    I left work one day without my glasses and wallet, how the hell did I pull that off? I need both of those to get home [legally that is].

    I got invited to a Masquerade Ball [ballroom gown and the whole 9 yards] but it falls on a date that I am out of town. I'm torn on what to do as I'd love to go to California, but I need me time so badly, as well as the opportunity to dress in a gown with a mask! Any suggestions?

    I made plans to go see Where The Wild Things Are on Thursday, yea!!

    And I guess I'm finally coming out of the closet...to tell my readers, I am reading the Twilight series and I'm enjoying it! Yes, there it is, I feel better getting that out in the open. I am reading the Twilight series! Please don't judge, thanks.

Well, that about wraps up what I am able to fit into a quick written dialogue for now...so I'll give you some words and move along some more of my darkened tunnel.

pimpstress: A female pimp.

hostage lunch: Meal purchased by the company, often pizza, and delivered for employees whose bosses require them to attend a meeting or work over their lunch hour.

stoner's Graceland: Another name for Wendy's [damn I like me some cheese fries and Frosty from Wendy's!]
In use: The late hours, stoner-friendly food, and 99-cent value menu are the main reasons Dave Thomas is to stoners what Elvis is to your grandma.

left-handed Web site: A porn Web site.

Bengal: A chick with an ugly face but a smoking body. After the football team the Cincinnati Bengals, who have sweet jerseys but terrible helmets. [I'll have to have Amanda or Andy verify this word for me]

embiggen: A perfectly cromulent word meaning to make bigger.
In use: A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

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