To say "I hate to complain" is a flat out lie. I like to bitch and moan and sob until everyone gets the idea of how miserable I am about something. Hence China!

But this morning isn't about China at all. It's about people. So I will vent to you , my two readers [ahem, see Becky, two, thanks!]. I will use the word "you", but please remember that it is not actually you to which I refer. I'm being nice by leaving names out. Here I go...

  • Do not make jokes to me about wanting to be dead if you don't like my response. I'm full of all sorts of negative thoughts on a regular basis for which I would have assumed you might have noticed.

  • Miss All High and Mighty, if you ever insult my friend again (for no reason), I will bust your lips open, dabble them with sea salt and then slice the insides of your fingers with vellum paper. I will dabble some salt in there as well.

  • If I walk in and you ask how the day is with my response being "crabby", perhaps you should take that as a firm indicator that you need to layoff the slight insults and regular jests I might otherwise not hit you for; today, I might hit you. Seriously though, give a girl some room!

  • Just as some people need coffee in the morning to function, as do I. I may not be a drinker of the coffees, but at least let me get some water. If I tell you my first priority of the day is to get a cup of tea...let me go get tea. It takes mere minutes that you just wasted by rambling something I chose not to hear.

  • Well, now that I got that out of my system, we all feel better!

    Here are some words good friends...
    awesinine: Stupidly brilliant or brilliantly stupid.
    Picasso pause: When a person stands still for a moment admiring their own work.
    urbanup: To look something up on urbandictionary.com
    chemical yoga: A chemical cocktail of Xanax and muscle relaxers, used in conjunction to relax one's mind and body.
    backstalk: To go through an acquaintance's blog entries, even those dated before you met, in order to learn more about that person. [I do this way too often]
    lucktard: One who has a natural dumb luck that bails them out of any situation, regardless of severity. [Ahem, I could list a few]
    Holidaze: Term that defines the feelings of confusion and excitement people have between thanksgiving and Christmas; the blur one feels after/during shopping for gifts on crowded retail stores with heavy holiday traffic.

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