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Appreciation

It's been some time since I've blogged anywhere. Not only am I finding it very hard to find the time to blog, but I just haven't wanted to do so. December has been a hard month. It started out with good people in the hospital and turned into a nightmare that has been overwhelming for everyone involved. My best friend since I was 5 years old lost her baby boy Wyatt on December 13th after he spent 33 wonderful weeks in his mother's womb. To make things even more dramatic for her family, her mom was in the hospital that weekend before with serious issues as well. In an odd twist, many other friends have been going to funerals all month. Even this month my mom experienced a double edged sword with a recent medical diagnosis. While we are happy she has a diagnosis, we are worried at the road she now must take. I can tell you that it makes me appreciate my Dano-Dano even at three in the morning during a crying fit. It makes me appreciate my friends and family. It makes me appreciate getting the chance to do things that many cannot do and that others take for granted.

Normally I'd use this time in my blog to vent, to share my feelings, and to get out of my head what ever it is that dwells there. But this time I'm not going to do so. I feel as though I will always remember the anger, sadness, guilt, lack of understanding, love for friends and family, and general hopelessness of this event for which I will eventually come to terms. Instead, I am going to end here to head over to Baby-Blog and write about a few things there. I will also leave here with the following poem. I read it shortly after my dad died and really liked it. It was read last night at Wyatt's memorial as well.
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

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