20110708

Too Much Information

So it seems, per the peanut gallery, I need a nanny so that I can blog more often (personally I blame my employer for filling my working day with actual work, but then again, I haven't been laid off so I'll shut my trap).  Last time I wrote (in April), it was about the Decorah Eagles that are pretty much all grown up and hanging out on a branch near the nest.  Talk about empty nest syndrome.  I had to stop watching them every moment of everyday because I was getting anxiety about their first flights!  Ha!


But a lot has happened since then that I haven't told you about.  Birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day, camping with awful cicadas, layoffs at work, baby milestones, annoying bastards, finding money, etc.  See, it's been a lot. (b o r i n g g g g)

Normally I like to keep the baby stuff to the baby blog (Dani is 8 months old today) but I figured while I'm here, I'll do what I do best and vent in my blog.  Stress at work has doubled over the last two weeks as a supervising engineer has left HOK and put me in the position of taking on more responsibility with my Wishard  project (now called Eskanazi Health).  Just the tasks alone are overwhelming.  Add to that working on good relationships with those I now have to work with regularly (not a people person).  And then add even more to that, an individual had me in tears Tuesday for something that ended up being nothing. 

So the point of mentioning all of this is to tell you that the stress levels that I have been under have been making my milk supply drop. Yes I know, too much information, oh well.  But the reality is that I am a full time working mother who has chosen to try and feed her child with what breast milk I can produce while I am away from her.  That alone, being away from her and trying to pump every 3-4 hours has put a toll on production.  Now with the stress and what has become the end of nursing as we know it at home, the girls are just not up to making the liquid gold.

So you may ask, why not just stop?  Good question!  I was being encouraged to stop by one engineer at work (same person who left), and an being encouraged to stop by my husband.  In their defenses they see the stress that pumping with little reward is putting on me (and the disappointment of "failing").  But I can't, this milk is the one thing that I, and only I can give Dani, and I'm joyed to be able to do so.  I had a one year goal and I want to make it.  It's absurd I suppose, I don't know many working mothers that essentially exclusively pump and continue past 3 or even 6 months and I've made it to 8.

So I've made a deal with myself that I will stop when, for an entire week,  I no longer produce each day as much as she consumes in a day (and we're close).  Until then, I'm going to drink my beer, eat my oatmeal, take my fenugreek, and try some relaxing breaths at work and see if I can get the girls pepped up and producing!

But a fun note, we decorated a coworkers desk today for his 40th birthday!  Happy Birthday Andrew!

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