Acquiring Account Information

Today I had the pleasure of trying to speak American English with a gentleman who spoke difficult-to-understand presumably Indian English while attempting to retrieve log in information.  I'm not saying the English language barrier was the problem, but it would have helped me tremendously if we could have understood each other better.

I managed to do the stupid thing my IT brother hates so much about people, I locked myself out of an account.  Simple mistake really, forgetting a password for a site I log into maybe once every three months.  Even worse was that I honestly believed I answered my security questions correctly so I have no idea what I did wrong.  Luckily I was provided a phone number to call to regain access.

Upon waiting on hold for a bit, Sam answered my call.  I cannot honestly believe Sam was this guy's real name, but we're going with it.  Sam spoke English.  I've always found people claiming to speak English need to define what kind of English they speak.  For example, I speak Midwestern (non-Chicagoan) American English.  I know people in Ireland speak English but couldn't tell you a damned thing they said unless they slowed down, enunciated like a narrator and avoided all colloquialisms.  It is likewise for Louisianans; I can only pick out a few things they say, but the same concept applies.  It's English, but it's a different language.

Anyway, off the rant...

The following is the conversation I had with Sam:

Computer Operator: [blah blah blah], Press 2 if you need assistance with your log in user name or password.
Me: [press 2...blah blah blah, enter Social Security Number]


Sam: Thank you for calling ADP for assistance.  My name is Sam, may I have your first and last name.
Me: [give first and last name, we then each go through a series of spelling this info, asking the other what he/she said before finally agreeing to the correctness of said name]
Sam: May I have your Flex ID?
Me: Uhm, yes, if I knew what this ID was, you could have it.  Where would one find a Flex ID?
Sam: Could you repeat this ma'am?
Me: Where can I locate the Flex ID?
Sam: You'll see it listed in your account information when you log into the website.
Me: Yes, that is a great place for a Flex ID, you see, I cannot log in, that's why I've called and pressed 2.
Sam: Could you repeat this ma'am?
Me: I cannot log in, please advise?
Sam: Oh I see. [....very long pause....]
Me: Hello, are you there Sam?
Sam: Yes ma'am, I'm here.  You do not have a Flex ID.
Me: Well, I suppose I do have one, I don't know it, what else can be used to log into the account?
Sam: Could you repeat this ma'am?
Me: How else can I unlock my account?
Sam: Yes, may I have the last four digits of your Social Security Number?
Me: Sure, I did enter it in the beginning of this call, but here they are [give last four digits, confused]
Sam: All I need are the last four digits ma'am.
Me: [last four digits]
Sam: Could you verify your name?
Me: Uhm, yes [provide name AGAIN, this time spelled out very slowly all while scratching my head in confusion]
Sam: Could you verify your date of birth, address, life history?
Me: Correct, correct, correct...
Sam: Please have a piece of paper and pencil in front of you to write down you Flex ID [gives me info, I write it down].  Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Me: Yes, I am sorry, thank you for that information, but I called because I need to get into my account online.  How can I do this now that I have locked myself out of the site? [said very slowly and enunciated like a narrator with no colloquialisms]
Sam: Oh I see.  I'm going to send you an e-mail with a registration code.  I am sending it now, please confirm and I will walk you through the process.
Me: Okay, it's here, there are instructions, I think I'm good at this point, thank you.
Sam: Please go to the website.
Me: I have and I have followed the directions to log in, I'm good now, thank you.
Sam: You need to enter the information and new registration code to log in.
Me: Yes, I have done that , thank you very much.  I have it from here. [frustration growing]
Sam: Do you need any further assistance?
Me: No Sam, no, I have it from here, thank you.
Sam: Good bye, please call again if you need assistance.
Me: Yes, thanks, bye [click....shit, first you can't seem to help me and now you won't get off the damned phone,; must learn the proper way to say good bye apparently]

I also want to note that when I entered my new password, I tried three different passwords that each received an error to indicate that I could not use any of my four previous passwords.  Interesting...

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