Let It Snow

It's snowing here in St. Louis. I also heard it snowed in Vegas. That must be a real treat to see snow in the desert! It's sort of nice to experience snow around Christmas time, very traditional I suppose. I know the dogs love the snow...not so much the cold, but they love the snow. Riley rolls in it, Bella eats it. They have a blast!

I was happy to see that my friend Becky blogged yesterday. I was needing some reading material. In her blog she mentioned her home construction. Familiar topic to me, we have that going on in our house. We always have that going on in our house. We LOVE construction. I guess not having a full bathroom can be frustrating, but I've gotten used to it by now. The good news is that the 'tin' ceiling tiles we ordered are in the store now. I want to know where my doors are though. I love the doors we ordered. Once we have the doors and ceiling completed we will be able to finish the subway tile, then the floor, then paint, install fixtures and we have a complete bathroom upstairs. We are going for the sort of old bathroom feel in the hall bath. I can't wait!

Becky also commented on my MySpace blog from a while ago, about the little things that get us by everyday. So I wanted to add to my list something she mentioned, and that is the corner pieces of the brownie. Oh holy moly that is the best part! So today I will add to that list! And if Becky is reading this...I have something you need to check out. Click this link!

-Corner pieces of the brownie
-Listening to a song you haven't heard in a very long time and remembering why it was one of your favorites!
-Singing in the shower
-Playing the air guitar
-Playing the air drums
-Making people laugh really hard when they see you playing the air guitar!
-Talking about nothing just to talk
-Nyquil (oh heavenly Nyquil)
-Not having to drive (gosh I so don't like driving, and I have terrible road rage)
-Knowing some one actually reads anything I write
-Reading other people's blogs
-Knowing people can confide in me, and not telling other people anything, because it's not mine to tell (don't take that as me knowing anything, I was just thinking about reading blogs)
-Draft autosave because it takes a while for me to write these things, I come as go as I am not busy at work
-Doing donuts on purpose on the fresh road ice

Dali Painting with Gyo Obata

Everything feels surreal today, like I stepped into a Dali painting. I keep thinking that I will wake up from a Nyquil® induced dream. Time keeps going though, so I know it’s real.

I started the morning by staying in bed. I had been there since 4:30 the evening before and it seemed like a good place to stay. By 8 a.m. I had realized that I actually had stuff to do at work. One of those things was mentoring young students in a Job Shadow program. The other thing was a meeting for a group called the Emerging Professionals at HOK where we got to interview Gyo Obata, the O in HOK. I had looked forward to the Obata q & a for some time actually, so I dragged myself out of bed and showered, gathered my things and headed into the office. I think while I was standing in the shower weeble-wobbling back and forth that I realized I was in no condition to function today. I had checked my e-mail before leaving to prepare for the day and saw a message from my nephew who thinks I might not know who he is. If you have ever felt inadequate as a human being you know how I felt at that very moment when my family members think I might not know them because I am a lame slacker aunt! Anyway, the drive to work felt really slow and long. I was very tired and wanted to sleep, it took everything I had to stay awake. It was at this point that I realized I always underestimate my ailments. I pulled into the overpriced parking garage, searched for a spot, pulled in and let myself close my eyes for just a few moments. I grabbed my phone and noticed a missed call from my coworker Crystal. I found it odd because she knew I was coming in late, and she would normally text me, I stood for a moment wondering if it was a sign of bad news that meant I should just go back home, but I thought, “what the hell, I’m already here, I’m going in”. I had walked into Met. Square, the office building that houses the HOK headquarters, and before I even got to the elevators I met three of my coworkers out the door to grab Starbucks coffee. I think it was the sadness in their faces that let me know everything was awry, but when Steve, my boss, started talking in a crackly-close-to-tears voice I knew things were bad. He informed me that Chris, my coworker had been laid off that morning. He took it badly, which always makes things worse. I didn’t know how to act; I instantly went into a coping mood, and felt the urge to console, knowing that this is not the end of the world. Maybe it was my medicated haze, or maybe I just don’t care, but I really felt the need to get past this point in time; I wanted to fast forward to get over it. It really did drag on for what seemed like hours! I was informed in this escapade that more layoffs are to come, that our small structures group does not have the income to sustain our staff; I can only hope to dodge another bullet. Trying to mentor students in a positive way was a difficult task. Listening to Gyo was refreshing.

So now, here I am, still dazed, still confused, and still emotionless thinking (knowing) I should have stayed in bed. I’m mentally preparing myself for layoffs as now two of my close coworkers/friends have been affected by this stalled economy. My buddy Mike is having surgery today for his gall bladder, I wish him the best. To Luke, I have an answer for you, I just need to respond still; to Holly I am sorry I am such a slacker sister that you children think I won’t know them; I am sorry for not wishing people a happy birthday on time; I am sorry people have to lose their jobs; I am sorry for seeming emotionless today. If it counts at all, nothing has flavor, colors are dull, and everyone sounds quiet.

Onto more routine things like the word of the day . . . .

Friend with benefits: A friend with whom you are allowed sexual activity but no true relationship. The benefit is purely sexual and not tied with feelings.

In use: Jane and I are friends with benefits.

Until next time . . .

Year In Review - Part I

I only have a few days left of this year and since this year has sucked so royally, next year, the big 2010, will be grand. One can only hope.

As today is my Friday, I'm feeling pretty good. I thought that I'd get started on my year in review. To say I don't know where to start would be completely cliche, but true. It's not that I did so much that I can't even begin; rather, I just don't remember. Lucky for me (and you), I wrote a blog this year!

Instead of recapping all that has happened in the year, I'll simply start with the topic of "Downtime- What I Did to Recharge". Wonder where I got this great [modified] idea? Well, check out this fellow here!

I Blogged at stephysite and hoklife!

There are the obvious things to make myself physically "unwind" and these consist of Nyquil and diphenhydramine. A lot of Effexor helps too!

I've spent some time this year "getting in shape" which translates to "tearing up my knees". I ran a couple of 5k's and tried to regularly stick to jogging that allows me to think alone while physically exhausting myself. The best benefit is the endorphin high.

Doodling has become a new "stress reliever" at work. I suppose it started one night after talking to @ironstef about zentangle. I recently purchased a lovely handmade [out of used books] journal to store my doodles. The lovely journal was made by @thefancylamb

Reading is always high on my list of things to do. It serves so many purposes (keeps the mind fresh with ideas and knowledge, kills the time on the bus, lulls me to sleep, tells me amazing stories, gives me things to talk about, and relaxes me). This year I've read more than most years because I've used public transit about 75%-85% of the year; which happens to be where I do most of my reading. Here is a small list of what I read in 2009:

• A Dirty Job
• Fool
• Blood Sucking Fiends
• You Suck
• The Twilight Series
• Let the Right One In
• Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bible
• Broken

Want some words? Here ya go...
jump the couch: A defining moment when you know someone has gone off the deep end. Inspired by Tom Cruise's behavior on Oprah.
Chrismukkah: the holiday mixture for Hanukkah and Christmas.

Aaaa, need to get this out

In fact I have so much to say that I am writing my topics down before I start so I don't forget! Dad sick, feeling about that, planet, mean text, job.

Okay, so I have a friend whose dad has had lung cancer. After a long battle he is nearly at the point of that battle being over. Just found out today that he has tumors in his brain. It's just frustrating that someone can fight so long and it doesn't matter in the end, he still gets hit!

To move on, but not too far, this friend and her father (with new tumors) have moved apart in the relationship of father-daughter. She said that she is upset, but not as upset as she should be. She looked to me for an answer. I couldn't say anything. I remember hearing that my dad had 2 weeks left. It hurt to hear, and at the same time it felt relieving. I don't have time to elaborate; but I wish I could tell her something of substance. I couldn't.

This made us wish we had our own planet. I really need one. I hate being alone, but sometimes it's nice to be on a planet where no one can hurt you, no one can say mean things, no one can remind you of bad things, no one can scare you, no one can do anything you don't want them to do!

Speaking of people being mean, I sent a text message to my friend Shane, who is in the hospital, to see if it was okay to text him (it costs a lot for him to text back, bit it's not extra for me to text him, I wasn't sure if he was charged for incoming texts). I didn't hear from him so I texted back to ask if was really okay...well he texts back to yell at me! I mean jebus, that's what I get for trying to be nice?

So onto my last topic, my job. The market is slow, we don't have much work. I can't say I've heard anything because it's hearsay; but impending layoffs are around the corner. I can only hope it won't happen. What will I do if I lose my job? Obviously get a new one, and maybe it's a new leaf overturned in my life; but it's very scary. Change is very scary.

Okay, now that it is all off my chest, I think I'll shower and drink Nyquil and go to bed. I hope life improves for everyone and that things are less scary. I don't like being scared.