Christmastime this year feels way harder than other years. Maybe not as bad as the year my brother died. Perhaps not as bad as the year my dad died, but thankfully, it's far enough in history for me to not remember. Anyway, it feels hard this year. It feels lonely. It feels disjointed. It feels forced. I don't normally have this issue but this year....this weird year...I'm pushing myself into this season in ways I didn't have to before.
I realize part of it has to do with working-from-home, being more isolated than I might otherwise. It has to do with anxiety about unknowns (how will the future go, will I still have a job, do I have to go back to the office, will my loved ones prevail against the ominous COVID...). It has to do with over-spending. It has to do with over-eating and not exercising enough. It has to do with no closure (seeing people daily to not seeing them at all). It has to do with my general mental health always waning.
But alas, time ticks on and so must we...
So, here's to some positives:
- I don't have to drive to the office every day and I get to work from home.
- My kiddo is doing well, learning in person, and so far, staying safe.
- I am so fortunate to still have a job, and an interesting one at it (not always in love with it, but intrigued).
- I have been walking and talking with/to friends each week...something I had not been doing until COVID Quarantine.
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