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Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2022 08:50:36 +0300
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MyMobile https://www.google.com/search?q=stephy3.stephysite@blogger.com StephanieArbogastSpann
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20220722
20220430
20220424
20211231
Closing Out 2021
What a year... really, what a year.
It was the first year of my life that I performed my job (be that a job, or school, or whatever) entirely from home. We have not returned to the office as of yet...and I prefer it that way.
My health has suffered for it, but to be fair, it wasn't great when I started and I can at least say I'm starting this year weighing slightly less than last year. I'm also more cognizant of my health needs now.
Work has been a whirlwind. On March 31 of this year, my boss John tragically died. He committed suicide. None of us knew were permitted to know what happened until we found out on our own (for reasons). I found out through a friend. It hit me hard because John was this guy that had all his shit together. We looked up to him. I will never forget our last Tuesday staff meeting with him. I thought to myself, "John seems bummed" but I didn't inquire. He was a guy that just didn't open up with me and I wasn't going to be nosy. I wish I had...it's not likely that me asking him how he was would have changed the outcome but I could have tried. I know the "what if" game never ends well so I won't even go there. But he's missed all the time. We never had a proper way to say goodbye to him and I am haunted by that regularly. Many of us are.
My colleague K. and I ended up splitting John's duties with a more senior engineer Mark. I hated it at first. We were all so overworked and they wanted us to take on MORE?! But we did it for the sake of the company. And here's the thing, did I get compensated for it as much as I should have? No, probably not. But I sure appreciate that they let us try and are not pushing us into more than we are ready for. We both (all three actually) love our company like family so we stick to it, knowing we might get more money elsewhere. That opinion may change over time, but for the current future, that's where it stands.
At the end of this year, one of our former CEO's, Jim Hacking, passed away. It was another hard loss for those of us at the company who knew him.
Work continues into the new year as a struggle. My colleague, mentor, and friend, Bear-Bear is retiring. It's going to hit hard and continue to sting for a long time. There's not much to say other than, I'm glad he's retiring. He needs it, he deserves it, and it's on his terms, as it should be.
I started investing this year. It's fun but scary so I don't invest much, just bits here and there. I started out on one app and have added another to my list. Both allow me to do penny stocks and ETFs which are crucial for my "learning this shit on my own" approach. I've started teaching D so she knows.
Although I have not taught as SIUE for some time, I am still asked and do so when I can. With a preteen in sports, that's hard to do though. I am one of the 2022 Outstanding Alumni recipients..so that's neat. I'm not telling anyone at work about it though.
I still like volunteering for SEI and my child's school. They both fulfill me in ways work cannot. They do get tiring though. I'd love to shed some of those duties into 2022...so let that be one of my resolutions.
Other resolutions: continue to work on my health...work smarter and less, do more with my kiddo, and try to worry less.
20210315
A Year Ago This Time
A year ago this time, on a Monday, I took my daughter to school for her last day of in-person third grade. My employer had already told us to work from home. I took the day to go to the office of the company that I was on loan to, the last I would be in the office for what was originally "two weeks" ...where we would be told to work from home moving forward. I gathered my things from that office, went to my main office to gather more things, and went home. My daughter's school gave her two weeks' worth of school work and some Zoom meeting information.
We started working from home on that Tuesday. That week, all-in-all was good. Being home meant safety and my family was all there. Despite the fear of running out of toilet paper, food, cleaning supplies, etc., we were making it work. I can't really complain about how it all turned out. My gut told me that we would not return to normal in two weeks, and I was worried how it would all work out...but it did.
My daughter has been in school this year, with a million safety precautions. I have been home for one year. I really, truly, cannot complain. I feel horrible about the loss of lives, the illnesses, the hopelessness for so many. I am fortunate and lucky to have what I have, to have had a positive turn on this experience, and to still gain anything from this past year. It is one I truly hope to never forget so I can always remember to put things in perspective.
20210202
Josh S.
One of my classmates from Kindergarten thru High School passed away Friday, Jan 29. Josh was so kind, energetic, and just a decent human. We were never the best of friends, but we were never not friends. It feels impossible to see him as anything but the child I knew...his blue eyes and blonde hair, typical 80's bowlish cut in a turtle neck.
It's surreal that I'm at the point in life where I know more people dying than getting married or being born. And to lose Josh...ugh, it's heartbreaking.
Rest in peace my dear friend, you are missed by so many. My thoughts are with your family.
20201228
Closing Out 2020, Almost
The end of 2020 is almost here. I feel terrible saying this but I think I will miss it. I had a friend die, I had a friend that was seriously ill and countless others with diagnosed COVID as well as many friends that are now jobless. And yet I have the nerve to say that I might miss it?
It's tough really...
I loved working from home for so many reasons:
- School drop off and pick-ups
- More time with my kiddo
- More meals cooked at home
- More walks in the neighborhood
- More time reading
- More time enjoying things with my family
- No awful commute to/from the office with panic setting in that I'll be late for work or home
- Flexible hours
I know that so many are suffering and it's terrible of me to want to hang on to the happy thoughts I have of my new arrangement. To be fair, I have terrifying and stressful thoughts too: of getting covid, my loved ones getting covid (some of those potentially unwell enough to not make it through), losing my job, that's to name just a few...
I know I'm not alone...I know so many others in my situation feel the same or similar.
Anyway, I read a book by Josie Silver in which the main character starts the story discussing the moments you let slip by because you don't know they are moments until it's too late. One of her prime examples is the last time you hold your small child and then they're too big to be held. I think about that often and I don't want those moments to pass (inevitable many just have to pass simply because you don't know they are moments). I feel worried about going back to the office and losing some of those moments. The last time I help my child with spelling, or the last time I wave to another parent in the parking lot...being in the office means I might gain moments with some colleagues, but I will miss so many others. That alone, almost more than the others hurts me the most.
So yes, that's why I say silly things like I will miss 2020. But alas, I try to find the positive so I can fake it until I make it...and I look forward to sitting in my mom's house watching TV, or walking next to a friend without a mask on, sitting at the dinner table with friends and family. Find the positives Steph.
So yes, that's why I say silly things like I will miss 2020. But alas, I try to find the positive so I can fake it until I make it...and I look forward to sitting in my mom's house watching TV, or walking next to a friend without a mask on, sitting at the dinner table with friends and family. Find the positives Steph.
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