Alphabetical Order

When I can't sleep, I have a few techniques that I dazzle myself with in order to doze off. The first trick consists of a healthy dose of diphenhydramine. If that fails me, or if I manage to resist the urge to consume medication, I do the alphabet thing. It's simple, much like counting sheep.

The problem with counting sheep is that it requires too little thought and therefore my brain begins to wander again as the sheep roam about doing their own thing. So I have to do something more complex. [Once I wrote equations in my head, but I found I got so consumed with trying to remember complex ideas that I wanted to get up and write things down rather than sleep. So, I go to my good old alphabet thing.]

For ages (or since junior high school), I said the 50 States in alphabetical order. Then, when I got too used to that, I'd count how many states had A's, or double letters, or ending in vowels, etc. I rarely bore of this; however, on occasion, I like to mix things up for my brain. In these cases I list items in alphabetical order, based on theme, and repeat them until I eventually fall asleep. It never fails that eventually I just doze off with little recollection of where I even left off. For example, last night was animals...

armadillo
armadillo bear
armadillo bear crocodile
armadillo bear crocodile donkey
...you get the idea...this is my list...or as far as I got...
armadillo bear crocodile donkey elephant ferret giraffe horse impala jaguar kangaroo llama moose n..n...n...

Quotes, Stories, and Other Things

Some quotes and stories, perhaps for your amusement!

• "Well, if you take that away, it's gone"-nameless engineer
  [Really?]

• Person 1: "...decontam?"
  Person 2: "Deacon Dam? What's this?"
  Person 1: "No no, DEE-CON-TAM..."
  Person 1: "Hmm, Deacon Dam, I don't know where this is."

• One fine summer day, Eva and I ate lunch at a place called Johnny Rocket's [or something of the sort], where they have really cool jukeboxes sitting on every table. Place a nickel in and choose a lovely 50's-60's genre tune with lunch!
  
  As it always goes with the two of us together, a small child was drawn to our power. [It happens often that children are drawn to staring at us, creeping over seats or under tables to look closer, have a chat, or even steal some food. We've grown accustomed to this behavior, so this incident here was no big deal]. A small boy, maybe 3-4 years old decided he wanted to play music. Of all the tables in the diner, empty or not, the boy chose to venture towards us with his nickel. He braced himself against our table doing a slight heaving motion to reach the box. He was literally hovering over our food and drinks struggling with all his might to get to play a song. His mother finally notices and gathers him up with much effort. He was determined to play a song, and not on any jukebox, our jukebox! I do not recall if he ever got to play a tune!

• Eva and I were eating dinner at a lovely place called Noodles & Co. one fine afternoon before catching the English Beat show. As we are minding our own business having a conversation Eva notices a small child creeping ever closer to us. We both began doing the side glances by the time he was sitting next to us staring. I turned to say hello to find the boy, Damien, very chatty. It didn't take any time to jump onto the "oddity" boat by asking me, "why is your head so small?", to which I could only laugh and cry a little!

• "..For the rest of us who generally live vicariously through the interactions of our 72 dpi avatars..." -@FrankieP

• "Gramma was hot....but that baby...uh, well not so much" -Amanda

• ...the past few years I had to tone down because of sexual harassment issues, but I used to be the kind of guy that would flirt with every female I worked with except for one. One day she called me on it and said that she'd use the excuse 'not my type' except usually 'not my type' means I think the husband looks like the kind of guy that would shoot a naked guy in the back if he saw him running away..." -anon

• "Yesterday we were talking about MPR calculations for a person taking a drug therapy. Basically its to measure a person’s adherence to their medication. Well the calculation is a rolling calc and is constantly moving.
  
  So we were talking about the Depression Medication Adherence and how the calculation is always moving. So Bobby is trying to explain how “the window for it is always moving”; Pete looks at me and says “that’s so they can’t jump out of it!”...-anon
  

• In reference to my loading diagram plans..."your work is pretty, but it tells me absolutely nothing" -Jim [thanks buddy, gave me a good laugh]

• A doodle...

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word...
Dirty Third: A synonym for the Dirty South; derived from the terms "Dirty South" and "Third Coast".