Alphabetical Order

When I can't sleep, I have a few techniques that I dazzle myself with in order to doze off. The first trick consists of a healthy dose of diphenhydramine. If that fails me, or if I manage to resist the urge to consume medication, I do the alphabet thing. It's simple, much like counting sheep.

The problem with counting sheep is that it requires too little thought and therefore my brain begins to wander again as the sheep roam about doing their own thing. So I have to do something more complex. [Once I wrote equations in my head, but I found I got so consumed with trying to remember complex ideas that I wanted to get up and write things down rather than sleep. So, I go to my good old alphabet thing.]

For ages (or since junior high school), I said the 50 States in alphabetical order. Then, when I got too used to that, I'd count how many states had A's, or double letters, or ending in vowels, etc. I rarely bore of this; however, on occasion, I like to mix things up for my brain. In these cases I list items in alphabetical order, based on theme, and repeat them until I eventually fall asleep. It never fails that eventually I just doze off with little recollection of where I even left off. For example, last night was animals...

armadillo
armadillo bear
armadillo bear crocodile
armadillo bear crocodile donkey
...you get the idea...this is my list...or as far as I got...
armadillo bear crocodile donkey elephant ferret giraffe horse impala jaguar kangaroo llama moose n..n...n...

NaBloPoMo Day Twelve Post Ten - Forgot Dream

Every evening that I jog [or lay awake suffering from insomnia] I think of all the things I plan to write. I even write these things out in my head in such a way that if I could use my mind to make the physical action of writing happen, I'd have novels all over flowing the shelves. [Okay, so yes, the books are already over flowing the shelves, but they aren't books *I've* written]. But then I arrive to the computer the following morning and my mind is blank. I can no longer recall all of my brilliant ideas. It's as if the book I'd written never existed, but I swear to you I have some brilliant ideas, I just forget them.

Even this morning I thought of something I wanted to write, but, well, as you can guess...I forgot what it was. It's okay though, I'll try to take better care of my ideas by jotting a note or two down about them. As for now, you'll get part of my dream from last night [surprise surprise, you only get that part which I can remember, I've already forgotten the rest!]

...I looked in a mirror to see that my skin was washed out, very pale but freckle free. I leaned in closer to see my skin. It was dry and cracked with fine lines in places I'd never seen them before. Disappointed I looked over my entire face finding age. I stopped once to glance into my own eyes that were as they truly are; a hazel colored iris that has amber and green in streaks around the pupil. I felt slightly reassured that I was still myself, but disappointed that I was the person looking back in the mirror. I was actually a bit horrified that it was me. But what I saw next was even more frightening. I saw that I'd lost most of my hair, the bald area covered in scabs. I poked at them to discover they were bruised, tears streamed down my eyes while I tried to gather my memory to recall when this had happened. Nothing came. Then I woke up panicked.

Word...
Facebook crush: A crush on a FB friend is characterized by the unexplainable urge to revisit the friend's Photos tab repeatedly and checking to see if other friends have written new messages on their Wall. Usually afflicts users who are only somewhat acquainted. [heh]

Twisted Clarifications and Additions

I wanted to step back to my Twisted Traits blog to add another trait, and to clarify one that apparently has people believing I am a morbid person who likes to hang out in coffins.

ADDITIONAL TWISTED TRAIT
-Your idea about food pantries having can throwing donations. -Amanda

CLARIFICATIONS FOR TWISTED TRAITS
-The can throwing thing:

This is one of those instances where knowing me helps make sense of the oddities you might read about me. I've learned to accept my idiosyncratic self as is and to try and make do with the tools I've been given. One of those idiosyncratic tools is the art of throwing heavy objects to release frustration. We all know someone who does, or wants to do this. I like to call these people the "stompers". You know who I'm talking about; your friend or family member that doesn't get his or her way and stomps wildly in a tantrum! Had they a heavy object to throw, they could very well be aiming at your head!

So, I have a brilliant [or so I think] idea! A food pantry could set up a "throwing booth" where "stompers" such as myself could come, pay a dollar, bring a can, and hurl it as hard as possible at some cushioned backdrop! It serves three very valid purposes! One is the obvious release of frustration by said "stomper". Two is the donation of canned goods. Three, the food pantry also gets a monetary donation. So, tell me how this is a bad idea?

-The coffin thing:

I do not lay down every night and pretend I'm hanging out in a coffin.

Sometimes when I lay down at night smitten with an inane bout of insomnia, I go through thousands of thoughts. And when I lay just right with my hands folded this way or that, I start to think that I must look like I'm laying in a coffin, which leads to thinking about dead bodies and what it might feel like to be in the coffin with that frilly white pillow puffed up around my decaying corpse painted and modeled just so for everyone to see, and stuck that way for eternity. When I say "I like to lay in bed and position myself in various "coffin positions" to see what would seem a best way to rest forever"; I don't mean to make it sound like I have the time of my life and that I would even do this often, because that is not the case; but in terms of major bouts of insomnia, it is just one of those odd and perhaps twisted things that I do. I also honestly believe everyone does this, or has done this at least once in his or her life (especially children after first seeing a loved one in a coffin). If not, you will now!

Insomnia Sucks

Okay, so it's 0400 on June 03. I can't sleep. I keep laying my head down on my pillow, but sleep does not come. I got 4 hours of sleep, better than less, but annoying as all fuck. I'm sure you can relate ... everyone gets bad cases of insomnia right?

I have a million things running through my head. I need to stop these million thoughts because 1) I need to sleep; 2) They do nothing but sadden me; 3) What good comes from thinking over and over and not doing?

I was told, that when these millions of thoughts pop into my head, that I should write them down. Identify what makes me sad, angry, etc. about these thoughts. This happens to be a public blog so I won't go that far; but gee, what a great idea that sounds like!

I'm pretty blah at this time in the morning, no tea yet, no interesting blogs yet, no major work drama yet. So, I will part with you, and perhaps meet up later good friend.