Acquiring Account Information

Today I had the pleasure of trying to speak American English with a gentleman who spoke difficult-to-understand presumably Indian English while attempting to retrieve log in information.  I'm not saying the English language barrier was the problem, but it would have helped me tremendously if we could have understood each other better.

I managed to do the stupid thing my IT brother hates so much about people, I locked myself out of an account.  Simple mistake really, forgetting a password for a site I log into maybe once every three months.  Even worse was that I honestly believed I answered my security questions correctly so I have no idea what I did wrong.  Luckily I was provided a phone number to call to regain access.

Upon waiting on hold for a bit, Sam answered my call.  I cannot honestly believe Sam was this guy's real name, but we're going with it.  Sam spoke English.  I've always found people claiming to speak English need to define what kind of English they speak.  For example, I speak Midwestern (non-Chicagoan) American English.  I know people in Ireland speak English but couldn't tell you a damned thing they said unless they slowed down, enunciated like a narrator and avoided all colloquialisms.  It is likewise for Louisianans; I can only pick out a few things they say, but the same concept applies.  It's English, but it's a different language.

Anyway, off the rant...

The following is the conversation I had with Sam:

Computer Operator: [blah blah blah], Press 2 if you need assistance with your log in user name or password.
Me: [press 2...blah blah blah, enter Social Security Number]

...wait...

Sam: Thank you for calling ADP for assistance.  My name is Sam, may I have your first and last name.
Me: [give first and last name, we then each go through a series of spelling this info, asking the other what he/she said before finally agreeing to the correctness of said name]
Sam: May I have your Flex ID?
Me: Uhm, yes, if I knew what this ID was, you could have it.  Where would one find a Flex ID?
Sam: Could you repeat this ma'am?
Me: Where can I locate the Flex ID?
Sam: You'll see it listed in your account information when you log into the website.
Me: Yes, that is a great place for a Flex ID, you see, I cannot log in, that's why I've called and pressed 2.
Sam: Could you repeat this ma'am?
Me: I cannot log in, please advise?
Sam: Oh I see. [....very long pause....]
Me: Hello, are you there Sam?
Sam: Yes ma'am, I'm here.  You do not have a Flex ID.
Me: Well, I suppose I do have one, I don't know it, what else can be used to log into the account?
Sam: Could you repeat this ma'am?
Me: How else can I unlock my account?
Sam: Yes, may I have the last four digits of your Social Security Number?
Me: Sure, I did enter it in the beginning of this call, but here they are [give last four digits, confused]
Sam: All I need are the last four digits ma'am.
Me: [last four digits]
Sam: Could you verify your name?
Me: Uhm, yes [provide name AGAIN, this time spelled out very slowly all while scratching my head in confusion]
Sam: Could you verify your date of birth, address, life history?
Me: Correct, correct, correct...
Sam: Please have a piece of paper and pencil in front of you to write down you Flex ID [gives me info, I write it down].  Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Me: Yes, I am sorry, thank you for that information, but I called because I need to get into my account online.  How can I do this now that I have locked myself out of the site? [said very slowly and enunciated like a narrator with no colloquialisms]
Sam: Oh I see.  I'm going to send you an e-mail with a registration code.  I am sending it now, please confirm and I will walk you through the process.
Me: Okay, it's here, there are instructions, I think I'm good at this point, thank you.
Sam: Please go to the website.
Me: I have and I have followed the directions to log in, I'm good now, thank you.
Sam: You need to enter the information and new registration code to log in.
Me: Yes, I have done that , thank you very much.  I have it from here. [frustration growing]
Sam: Do you need any further assistance?
Me: No Sam, no, I have it from here, thank you.
Sam: Good bye, please call again if you need assistance.
Me: Yes, thanks, bye [click....shit, first you can't seem to help me and now you won't get off the damned phone,; must learn the proper way to say good bye apparently]

I also want to note that when I entered my new password, I tried three different passwords that each received an error to indicate that I could not use any of my four previous passwords.  Interesting...

Why Is This Wet?

Hoo-rah...hoo-rah; today is my birthday. 30 years ago around nine in the morning, I was born, dislocated hip and all! I wanted out real bad, eager to get this life going. I chose to come out before the doctor was ready to deliver and somehow managed to dislocate my hip! I would have to say that this particular action set me up for how I would manage the rest of my life; too eagerly and far too clumsy! Those of you who know me well enough are laughing. Maybe not laughing at me, but laughing at how true this all is!

Before I move on; I want to rewind back to last week. The hi-lite didn't occur until Friday evening, and frankly, it's well worth the rewind. Chris and I went to the Trowbridge's for movie night (featured presentation=Bolt (2008)). So let me cut to the chase, Grace, my 3 year old buddy was carrying around a pink flamingo doll. Christine, (a.k.a. mom) picked up pinky and felt that it was wet. "Grace, why is this pink flamingo wet?"; "because I -----". That last part so indistinguishable, we all leaned in further to hear; "what Grace, why is this wet?"; "because I peed on it"! It was beyond difficult to stifle the laughter and tears that were slipping out; a rather tense moment for a 3 year old turned my entire week into a great one!

So, fast forward to Sunday, Mother's Day; a decent day all in all. The one thing though, worth mentioning, is that some one thought I was young. Very young! I met Jen for a bike ride, and her step-mother (in-law?) was at the house. Jen introduced us and we chatted for a moment before Jen and I took off for the Katy trail. Later that day, Jen called to tell me that Step-Mom thought it was so nice of Jen to take the little neighborhood girl out for a bike ride. It wasn't until later that she noticed a car parked next to hers that she asked Steve (Jen's hubby) about it. Steve told her it was mine; her response was to ask Steve if I was old enough to drive! It was an extreme compliment! Here I am disdainfully celebrating 30, and she thought I was barely old enough to drive! In hindsight I wondered if it is because I acted immaturely . . . but I really don't care how I acted since I was polite and I enjoyed myself!

Other stuff to note: I broke my phone Friday, had to get a new one (which was going to happen this year anyway); purchased a new pair of eyeglasses (will get them in about a week); Chris planted a tomato and cucumber plant(s) in the backyard; I blogged on Friday for work; stole old photo albums from mom to scan photos for online (yes Holly, that does mean I will get you those promised photos of dad finally (albeit electronic)); last, but most unpleasant, I got bad news about my cousin Matt who had a stage two cancerous tumor in his brain (if you pray, please pray for him).

So, that leads me to here, today, my birthday (Dusty's as well). I hope your day is enjoyable.

Word of the today and the weekend-
moose knuckle: The male version of camel toe. Usually found on older rotund gentlemen wearing a suit.

pour one for my homies: To pour liquid (usually an alcoholic beverage) on the ground as a sign of reverence for friends or relatives who have passed away. In many cases, a 40-ounce bottle of liquor is used.