NaBloPoMo Day 18 Post 15 - This Is Short

Matt's leaving HOK. To him I say BLEH!

Now I have no cube mate.

I have an SEI meeting.

I watched a scary movie.

Word...
babysit: To pay little or no attention to your alcoholic beverage, letting it sit idle while you pretend to nurse it.

In Use: Hey, you gettin' paid to babysit that beer?

Collapsed Tunnel Embiggens the Despair

I tell myself that there is an end to the tunnel, but I haven't seen it yet, and I'm somehow sure I'm collapsed inside! I did get some good advice from Mike C. though. He says I should "suck the dampness from [my] hair for [water] 'til the rescuers come find [me]".

There's no denying that I'm stressed out. The canker sores and pound of chocolate that I've recently eaten are sure signs! I haven't had time to write and I find it aggravating. If I find it to the end of the tunnel having survived the odds, I will be amazed by myself!

So I s'pose I could update you on a few things that have come and gone since I last recall writing...

A boy climbed into a balloon and floated away...but not really. It was a hoax.

I moved to a new desk at work.



I camped in freezing cold weather that was the epitome of pure camping weather.

I watched mass leaf suicide the Sunday we left camping as all the frost covered leaves jumped to their untimely deaths.

I've been given a "second chance".

I left work one day without my glasses and wallet, how the hell did I pull that off? I need both of those to get home [legally that is].

I got invited to a Masquerade Ball [ballroom gown and the whole 9 yards] but it falls on a date that I am out of town. I'm torn on what to do as I'd love to go to California, but I need me time so badly, as well as the opportunity to dress in a gown with a mask! Any suggestions?

I made plans to go see Where The Wild Things Are on Thursday, yea!!

And I guess I'm finally coming out of the closet...to tell my readers, I am reading the Twilight series and I'm enjoying it! Yes, there it is, I feel better getting that out in the open. I am reading the Twilight series! Please don't judge, thanks.

Well, that about wraps up what I am able to fit into a quick written dialogue for now...so I'll give you some words and move along some more of my darkened tunnel.

pimpstress: A female pimp.

hostage lunch: Meal purchased by the company, often pizza, and delivered for employees whose bosses require them to attend a meeting or work over their lunch hour.

stoner's Graceland: Another name for Wendy's [damn I like me some cheese fries and Frosty from Wendy's!]

In use: The late hours, stoner-friendly food, and 99-cent value menu are the main reasons Dave Thomas is to stoners what Elvis is to your grandma.

left-handed Web site: A porn Web site.

Bengal: A chick with an ugly face but a smoking body. After the football team the Cincinnati Bengals, who have sweet jerseys but terrible helmets. [I'll have to have Amanda or Andy verify this word for me]

embiggen: A perfectly cromulent word meaning to make bigger.

In use: A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

Did You Remember Your Towel?

This weekend, and in general some things I found interesting . . .

1. Yesterday, Monday May 25 was Memorial Day for the US, a Bank Holiday for the UK, and Towel Day for everyone. What's that all about you ask? Read Hitchhiker's Guide and you'll know all about the need for a towel. You could also check out the following website: http://www.towelday.org/! For those of you that are unaware, some Irish fellow is commisioned to write the next installment of the Guide. I'm holding him to extremely high standards! (How does one pronounce that name, Eoin? (Owen??)an be assured I will read it and let you know my opinions!

2. LoopLoop Video, Sorry I'm Late. Watch all the way to the end to see how they made this short film. For those of us not artistically savvy, it's really cool. For those of you that may be artistically savvy, perhaps you already know how cool it is; but neat to watch anyway hopefully?

3. I went to the bookstore twice this weekend. It should be no surprise to you that I left both times with books. What did I buy? Dog On It; Bloodsucking Fiends; Broken; Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bible; Fool; 101 Things To Do With Ramen Noodles. I finished Lovely Bones and am mostly through Dog On It!

4. This week, one of my favorite comic strips, Brevity, is mixing it up.



So what is Your favorite comic?

5. My broken window was repaired on Friday; Grace was 4 on Saturday, party that morning, then we had a mellow night at Eva's; I went for a bike ride on Sunday on a winding path that was really neat (in Glen Carbon); I washed a load of towels on Monday for Towel Day, so yes, that does mean I had Monday off of work; I don't know that I ever updated anyone on any of my cool birthday presents; I watched Eagle Eye yesterday, good film, I've been waiting for the government to contact me; surprisingly enough I am in a good mood today that I can't explain (nothing great happenend, nothing bad happened, didn't sleep bad, didn't sleep great; it's very odd, I'm sure it will dwindle as the day moves along).

Words-
shank:

1. A homemade knife.
2. To stab someone with a homemade knife.

muscle queen: A gay man who pumps iron every waking moment in order to be as physically appealing to other men as possible.

totty:

1. An attractive or sexy person. Usually refers to a women, but sometimes used for men.
2. To be unsteady on one's feet, usually as a result of intoxication.

Why Is This Wet?

Hoo-rah...hoo-rah; today is my birthday. 30 years ago around nine in the morning, I was born, dislocated hip and all! I wanted out real bad, eager to get this life going. I chose to come out before the doctor was ready to deliver and somehow managed to dislocate my hip! I would have to say that this particular action set me up for how I would manage the rest of my life; too eagerly and far too clumsy! Those of you who know me well enough are laughing. Maybe not laughing at me, but laughing at how true this all is!

Before I move on; I want to rewind back to last week. The hi-lite didn't occur until Friday evening, and frankly, it's well worth the rewind. Chris and I went to the Trowbridge's for movie night (featured presentation=Bolt (2008)). So let me cut to the chase, Grace, my 3 year old buddy was carrying around a pink flamingo doll. Christine, (a.k.a. mom) picked up pinky and felt that it was wet. "Grace, why is this pink flamingo wet?"; "because I -----". That last part so indistinguishable, we all leaned in further to hear; "what Grace, why is this wet?"; "because I peed on it"! It was beyond difficult to stifle the laughter and tears that were slipping out; a rather tense moment for a 3 year old turned my entire week into a great one!

So, fast forward to Sunday, Mother's Day; a decent day all in all. The one thing though, worth mentioning, is that some one thought I was young. Very young! I met Jen for a bike ride, and her step-mother (in-law?) was at the house. Jen introduced us and we chatted for a moment before Jen and I took off for the Katy trail. Later that day, Jen called to tell me that Step-Mom thought it was so nice of Jen to take the little neighborhood girl out for a bike ride. It wasn't until later that she noticed a car parked next to hers that she asked Steve (Jen's hubby) about it. Steve told her it was mine; her response was to ask Steve if I was old enough to drive! It was an extreme compliment! Here I am disdainfully celebrating 30, and she thought I was barely old enough to drive! In hindsight I wondered if it is because I acted immaturely . . . but I really don't care how I acted since I was polite and I enjoyed myself!

Other stuff to note: I broke my phone Friday, had to get a new one (which was going to happen this year anyway); purchased a new pair of eyeglasses (will get them in about a week); Chris planted a tomato and cucumber plant(s) in the backyard; I blogged on Friday for work; stole old photo albums from mom to scan photos for online (yes Holly, that does mean I will get you those promised photos of dad finally (albeit electronic)); last, but most unpleasant, I got bad news about my cousin Matt who had a stage two cancerous tumor in his brain (if you pray, please pray for him).

So, that leads me to here, today, my birthday (Dusty's as well). I hope your day is enjoyable.

Word of the today and the weekend-
moose knuckle: The male version of camel toe. Usually found on older rotund gentlemen wearing a suit.

pour one for my homies: To pour liquid (usually an alcoholic beverage) on the ground as a sign of reverence for friends or relatives who have passed away. In many cases, a 40-ounce bottle of liquor is used.

Staying Sexy with Laughter

... ha ha ha ... give me a moment to control my laughter! Wow, I haven't laughed this much in ages. I know I know, you need an explanation ...

So for starters, let me say that you should check out the movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Now if you are Amanda, maybe you won't like it. It does however have Jason Mewes in the film. It's disturbing, [in fact hours since I've watched it and I'm still just as disturbed]. It's a good laugh though, or so I thought. NOT for children, in fact, it's barely suitable for adults!

What else is making me laugh today? I'm sure you could have guessed, but blogs! My beloved blogs!

Typically I step into the office, hit that button that makes my computer wake up, and then spend my beginning moments of work hoping for hysterical blogs. I didn't even get that far before I started laughing! It started well before I even got to the office! You see, this started while I was getting ready for work.

Ha, before we go with THAT thought, let me say NO, I wasn't laughing at myself in the mirror because of how hideous I looked when I woke up; let's just nip that joke in the bud!

Where was I, oh right, getting ready for work. I dressed nice (as nice as I can dress [cowboy boots]). I even put on makeup. Not just the makeup that covers my Pale Expressionless Face, but real makeup! During this time, Chris asked me if my blog buddy from Toronto was going to be in town. This made me laugh. It's a good thought, I rarely, and I mean rarely put effort into my appearance! Ask anyone I know; I care that I look presentable, clean, and unhippie-like; but as for makeup, I tend to find it a wasteful use of product and time! So I can see where one might come to the conclusion that I was trying to impress someone. And I don't try to impress just anyone, so yet another good conclusion drawn to my blog buddy from Toronto! Good conclusions! Funny though. Funny.

So I was finally ready, hit the trail we call Interstate 55 and trolleyed into work. I walk in, hit that button, prepare for blogs. I was not disappointed!

The first couple of blogs I read were not funny, entertaining, or anything really. They just are what they are, blogs I read. But then I got to the second of Janet's blogs. I was to say the least, intrigued. I read, became confused, started clicking links, became more confused, reread the blog, made sense of everything, and then reclicked links. Laughter ensued! Riotous good time I tell you! I encourage you to do the same. It's a great blog about a shitty hotel with great advertising. You have to check out the advertising agency as well. Open the link several times and notice how the website changes every time. EVERY TIME! I like these people!

Then I noticed there appears to be a book associated with this hotel/hostel/place. I think I need it! Thanks Janet, you are awesome!

I moved onto the HOK Life blog. Today's blog post that I read was from Mike P. He wrote about sustainability, a big topic with HOK. He always writes very well and always has the greatest titles to links. Just when you think a title might mean one thing, it ends up meaning something else. And really, can anyone deny a link titled Stay Sexy? I know I couldn't! I would encourage you to check out the article, then find out how to stay sexy baby!

You might be wondering why the last blog I talked about was funny. Well, in my head, Stay Sexy might have meant few clothes required for "Lightening One's Load". Ha, my mind, it's always in the gutter!

So, now, are you still wondering why I put makeup on and curled my hair? Photos today for work. That's all!

Bed Bugs

Let's start this off right, Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Now, onto my complaints: I scanned some photos at Walgreens because I was too lazy to try and figure out the scanner at home. Long story short, not all of the photos I scanned are on there! Argh! I'm sure it was user error and not Walgreens, but I'm blaming them all right! No big deal I s'pose, I'll figure out the scanner and just take care of everything at home.

New subject: I was happy to see yesterday, that the hoklife.com blog was mentioned in another blog (blogs about blogs, you've got to love the redundancy)!

Newer subject: Yesterday I met Amanda at the movie theater to see Coraline (in 3-D). We both got there early and decided to walk for a bit where I heard a great story, ok well, "great" is still up for interpretation. So as you may know, I went to New York and stayed with Emily (Amanda's sister). Upon our return, Emily followed to attend the funerals of two family members, where she gave Amanda some unpleasant news. This news has an effect on me, but Emily didn't want Amanda to tell me the story until after she was back in New York; simply because she thought I might think she was dirty and gross. Basically, Emily has bed bugs in her apartment. None of us saw them, but upon her return to New York, they were discovered. Measures were taken to remove the bugs, but that is still to be seen as promising. Amanda has checked her place and found none, and I have not seen any either. I think it will be interesting to see if Chris reads this blog because I haven't told him yet of the possibility of bed bugs (that I don't think we have).

Anyway, so why am I telling you this whole story? Please recall that Emily didn't want me to think she was dirty or gross. Here's my thing; first, while I do slip up and judge people, I make a very strong effort to not judge anyone; I don't know their stories, and I don't know what made them who they are, so really, why judge?! Second, I am surprised she would think I was shallow enough to judge her (this seems to be a theme with people I know lately). Third, she was standing right there when I licked (yes LICKED) the Empire State Building, I wouldn't dare dream of calling some one else gross!

Anyway, let me jump to another topic, work. Today has been a good day, we got our submittal out on time! Abdel stopped by to tell me I have either changed or I look good in green, and since he thinks he'd notice if I changed, he says I look good in green. Thanks Abdel, that was nice, and I really needed that! Next, Andrew mentioned that he wanted me to work on his project. He's never requested me to work on his projects, but this time he did. Andrew and I get along pretty decent. He's a jerk, I'm a jerk, and we can both be pretty callous. I think we've bonded some where along the line, and I like that! I'm also excited to know that I at least have work for a couple more weeks. I hate living week by week not knowing if I have work the following weeks; but I'm adapting (rather uneasily though).

And lastly for the day, my review of Coraline. Please note that They Might Be Giants have a song in the movie, so on that note, it rocks! The animation is excellent, and worth catching in 3D. The story line is good and has a great moral (love the parents you have, they're all you got, good and bad). Here's where I get weirded out by the movie; it's scary. It has a creepy cat, characters with buttons for eyes, spooky dolls, and it's just creepy! I know that saying this means little to anyone who knows me. I can't watch Willy Wonka without getting scared; so Coraline is about that level of weird/scary if you need a reference. Also, watch out for things that fly at you (remember, it's 3D)!

Here is your word of the day:
get Irish: To get drunk.

In use: Me and my friends are gettin' Irish tonight.