I Hate Change

I've said it, what seems like, a million times.  I do not handle change well.  This past year has really tested me and while I can at least say I'm coming out alive and essentially unscathed (thank my lucky stars)...mentally I am a basket case.

Let's go back to March of 2014.  That isn't when the major changes happened but that's when they started creeping into my life.

March 2014 - I moved from the downtown office location of my then employer to a satellite office.  The new office wasn't bad but it was a change no less.  I liked the people there, I liked the new office, I even managed to handle the longer commute.  In no time I felt adjusted.  I think it might have helped that I had a new friend among coworkers and it smoothed things out for me.

July 2014 - We decide to enroll Lil Bit in preschool.  I have a hard time with this for two reasons...I feel weird about taking her from my sister, who had watched her since I returned to work when she was 3 months old.  I also feel weird because she's growing up and I'm not ready for this.  I'm not ready for the change in life, the change in schedule, the change in her innocence...etc.  You understand if you've ever been there.  It's the last time you'll enroll your baby in preschool...she's no longer a baby, she's a freaking PRESCHOOLER.  It's rough but I think I can do it.

August 2014 - Lil Bit's first day of school; there are festivities the entire week before, events, meetings with the new teacher, school supply shopping, much ado about preschool.  I cried like a baby when I dropped her off and had to turn around and walk away.  Heartbreaking.  I guess the nice thing in terms of change is that it wasn't necessarily a huge change in my schedule as my husband generally took Lil Bit 2 days a week to his parents in the morning and they took her and picked her up from school.  It was significant that she was not at my sister's for 5 days of the week.  But, there was a plus, let me tell you, I have waited ages to take my child (I thought about this even when I did not have a child) school supply shopping.  It, in some ways, got me through this week.

September 2014 - My sister informs me that she's moving to a different state.  I hold it together long enough to leave her house before I sob the entire way home.  She was there for me always...literally, physically there for me.  She consoled me, amused me, cared for my child, and in general was just there for me.  I panic for a bit but then go into "get things done" mode.  I make provisions for my daughter's child care which now means that she's going to Child Care 3 days a week and to the grandparents/school two days a week.  It is a significant change to my schedule but also a significant change in my venting sessions.  If not for my new coworker/friend...it could have gone bad...but I managed through it.  I struggled, felt depressed, came to terms, worked through it, and came out unscathed having finally gotten into a comfortable but revised schedule and routine by the end of October.  I am happy for my sister and her family...it has seemed to work out well for all.

December 2014 - I am laid off from my then employer.  I'm hit hard by this....come home to sob into Riley who sat there staring at me like I was nuts, after all, it was just a job.  This whole ordeal severely depresses me and I keep myself busy with sewing projects and Christmas events and volunteering at Lil Bit's school.  I didn't even read during this time.  Also, December depresses me in general because it's the end of the holiday season when things get packed up and festive decorations come down and we begin the Holiday Doldrums until May.  I really suffer silently through this.  I am fortunate to have found a new (and better in so many ways) job within one week of my lay-off.  I get a month off, essentially paid for, during the holidays to spend with my family, and to do things for my child's school.  In hindsight I see this and think of nothing depressing at all.  Just a lot of change.

January 2015 - I start my new job.  I also start teaching a class two evenings a week at SIUE.  Lil Bit starts taking a dance class.  It's a major adjustment to routine and schedule.  We struggle through but are settled by the end of February.

April 2015 - I decide to start taking care of myself again.  I exercise, I eat well, I take great vitamins (that I even promote to people (Advocare if you are wondering)).  I'm doing well...I feel the best I've felt in a long time.

May 2015 - The most devastating month ever.  Everything feels like it ends in May.  I finished the book series I had been reading since September 2014.  Change to a new book I suppose.  Final exams for my class end the first week in May and while I'm happy for it to be over, it's a change.  Lil Bit's first year of preschool comes to end.  I miss her teacher already.  Again, change.  Dance class comes to an end (the recital was today and Lil Bit doesn't think she wants to dance again...I kind of miss it).  Change.  Despite all this change and adjustment to schedules (even with the beginning of camping season and the opening of the pool, and just things in general) the one thing that is killing me over and over is the loss of Riley.  I miss him and I say it's heartbreaking and sometimes I wonder if that's going to be literal for me because the panic attacks I get thinking of him hurt my heart, and my lungs, and every single part of me as I gasp for breath.  I feel silly acting this way.  He was after all a dog...we expect the loss of them over our lifetime...it wasn't entirely a surprise, though far too soon.  I can't help but break each day as I see something that makes me think of my friend.  It's been the hardest change so far.

I feel ridiculous not being able to handle change.  Ridiculous.  It could be so much worse...trust me, I play the scenarios in my head often.  I'd talk them out but in some ways I've lost some of my best consolation between Riley, my sister, and my coworker/friend.  They listened when they didn't need to and still at least 2 of them do...just not face to face, it makes things a bit harder.  And, looking back to the past, I realize I do get over it; but right now, I just feel.....ridiculous, lousy, panicky, and lost just to name a few.  I hate this feeling.  I just go everyday for as long as I can and when the feeling overwhelms me, and it does, I just let it wash over me so I can get back up and move on out of the sludge as best as possible.  And hopefully, in a few months, when a million more changes have come at me...maybe I can look back to now and say, "If I made it through that, I will make it again"...and if not, I guess I should go school supply shopping?

In any case, it feels good to have gotten this off my chest.  Thanks world for listening.  My heart goes out to a few of my friends suffering through their own things.  One friend T. lost his long time girlfriend to a peculiar medical incident which leaves him and her entire family mourning the loss of a very special young woman.  My friend K. is losing her dad and while I wish there was something I could say to her to ease the pain...I can only just sit here and be ready to hug her when she needs it.  Lousy feeling indeed.  My friend C. lost a niece tragically in a car accident this week and her sister is struggling to stay alive...I've been thinking of them often.  And to a woman I only know professionally, I hope to never know your pain of losing a child.  Her son died this week, age 27, while exercising.  He was in generally good health.   Life is so fragile, I try to remember that this crappy feeling of mine could be trumped with real sadness of fear in the blink of an eye.  Hug those you love, tell them you care....never let a crappy mood get you so down you miss the good things.

Too Much Information

So it seems, per the peanut gallery, I need a nanny so that I can blog more often (personally I blame my employer for filling my working day with actual work, but then again, I haven't been laid off so I'll shut my trap).  Last time I wrote (in April), it was about the Decorah Eagles that are pretty much all grown up and hanging out on a branch near the nest.  Talk about empty nest syndrome.  I had to stop watching them every moment of everyday because I was getting anxiety about their first flights!  Ha!


But a lot has happened since then that I haven't told you about.  Birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day, camping with awful cicadas, layoffs at work, baby milestones, annoying bastards, finding money, etc.  See, it's been a lot. (b o r i n g g g g)

Normally I like to keep the baby stuff to the baby blog (Dani is 8 months old today) but I figured while I'm here, I'll do what I do best and vent in my blog.  Stress at work has doubled over the last two weeks as a supervising engineer has left HOK and put me in the position of taking on more responsibility with my Wishard  project (now called Eskanazi Health).  Just the tasks alone are overwhelming.  Add to that working on good relationships with those I now have to work with regularly (not a people person).  And then add even more to that, an individual had me in tears Tuesday for something that ended up being nothing. 

So the point of mentioning all of this is to tell you that the stress levels that I have been under have been making my milk supply drop. Yes I know, too much information, oh well.  But the reality is that I am a full time working mother who has chosen to try and feed her child with what breast milk I can produce while I am away from her.  That alone, being away from her and trying to pump every 3-4 hours has put a toll on production.  Now with the stress and what has become the end of nursing as we know it at home, the girls are just not up to making the liquid gold.

So you may ask, why not just stop?  Good question!  I was being encouraged to stop by one engineer at work (same person who left), and an being encouraged to stop by my husband.  In their defenses they see the stress that pumping with little reward is putting on me (and the disappointment of "failing").  But I can't, this milk is the one thing that I, and only I can give Dani, and I'm joyed to be able to do so.  I had a one year goal and I want to make it.  It's absurd I suppose, I don't know many working mothers that essentially exclusively pump and continue past 3 or even 6 months and I've made it to 8.

So I've made a deal with myself that I will stop when, for an entire week,  I no longer produce each day as much as she consumes in a day (and we're close).  Until then, I'm going to drink my beer, eat my oatmeal, take my fenugreek, and try some relaxing breaths at work and see if I can get the girls pepped up and producing!

But a fun note, we decorated a coworkers desk today for his 40th birthday!  Happy Birthday Andrew!

The Birds

Ever since I heard about the Decorah Eagles, I've been obsessed with watching the family of eagles hatch and then grow into some fine specimen of bird. It's unlike anything you'd ever get to see otherwise if this live webcam did not exist. Here are a few pictures of the birds and the link so you can also become addicted.

http://www.ustream.tv/decoraheagles











Also, there was an owl in the office today, so I had my picture taken with it. It's been really cool to hear the owls hooting and calling to one another these past few weeks. Glad to see one close!

NaBloPoMo Year Two

Welcome NaBloPoMo!

My goal this month, besides the mediocre task of giving birth, is to blog daily. Even if it's merely a photo, I shall try.

If you are uncertain what NaBloPoMo is, it happens to stand for National Blog Posting Month. Since my blogs are usually just worthless rants and raves that I feel the need to share with everyone, they mean little in terms of daily blogging, but it at least forces me to write daily. As it is therapeutic for me, I feel I should make the effort to write more, and this month, I at least have the excuse.

I'm trying to decide if I should require myself to blog here daily, or if I can combine the daily bloggings between here, BabyBlog, and HOK Life. What do you think?

My Personality (Neurotic)

I read an HOK Work+Place blog today about how one's personality could affect the workspace. In that, Vivian included a link to a test for the "Big Five Model". I took it, and here are my results:

[To see my complete results, go here! My comments on the results are below, bracketed in italics.]

Scoring is out of 99.

EXTRAVERSION...............29
..Friendliness.............21
..Gregariousness...........25
..Assertiveness............57
..Activity Level...........82
..Excitement-Seeking.......22
..Cheerfulness.............12

Your score on Extraversion is low, indicating you are introverted, reserved, and quiet. You enjoy solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends. [Yes, I do often like to be alone, I also avoid large crowds, and while I may appear to be loud and outgoing, I have to force myself to be that person.]

AGREEABLENESS..............34
..Trust....................29
..Morality.................20
..Altruism.................79
..Cooperation..............24
..Modesty..................60
..Sympathy.................43

Your level of Agreeableness is average, indicating some concern with others' Needs, but, generally, unwillingness to sacrifice yourself for others. [I'm disappointed that the results say I am unwilling to sacrifice myself, I think I sacrifice myself quite a bit when I can...however, the lack of trust and my real need for altruism I feel have shown up numerically. Morality of 20 pts...hmm, my morals are interesting I suppose]

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS..........63
..Self-Efficacy............64
..Orderliness..............60
..Dutifulness..............31
..Achievement-Striving.....48
..Self-Discipline..........65
..Cautiousness.............75

Your score on Conscientiousness is average. This means you are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled. [Organized...been called that since childhood.]

NEUROTICISM................92
..Anxiety..................91
..Anger....................76
..Depression...............98
..Self-Consciousness.......66
..Immoderation.............52
..Vulnerability............93

Your score on Neuroticism is high, indicating that you are easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be sensitive and emotional. [I am SO neurotic, I don't know how I didn't get those last 7 points!]

OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE.....29
..Imagination..............53
..Artistic Interests.......19
..Emotionality.............81
..Adventurousness..........2
..Intellect................37
..Liberalism...............49

Your score on Openness to Experience is low, indicating you like to think in plain and simple terms. Others describe you as down-to-earth, practical, and conservative. [I really hate change. I'm also very down to earth, gravity can be our friend.]

[Side note...wrote over at BabyBlog]

Venti Wishard

Today is one of those days I could vent for quite some time here on the blog. It wasn't a bad day per say, nor was it stressful per say...it was just...hectic. A meeting from 9am to 3 pm with an impromptu hour long conference call at quarter after 4. Hectic...

Anyway, the day long meeting was pretty neat actually. It was our Clash Detection Kickoff meeting for the Wishard project I'm working on these days. We're using Navisworks to do this, and it's just amazing to see how everything has come together!

Curious about my project Wishard? Well, it's a replacement hospital in Indianapolis, Indiana. Here's the rendering of what the building looks like... [from thenewwishard.org]



You can even check out the webcam at this link: http://oxblue.com/pro/open/netwise/wishard



On a side note...I wrote about baby stuff today at stephysite-baby.blogspot.com

Being the Change Brings Thanks

Doing things to help others is something I selfishly like to do because it makes me feel better. I want to be one of the people I want people to become!

Every once in a while some one sends a message of thanks my way that just makes me sky-rocket to the moon! Today, I happened upon one of these...

Hi Stephanie,

Thank you for assisting us gather medical supplies for Haiti Relief!

My wife, Cynthia, arrived safely to Port au Prince Haiti this morning. She meet her uncle and delivered the supplies that we gathered to help support the medical clinic his family is providing for their surrounding community. Your generosity will go directly to help heal the injured and wounded people in the Delmas area of Port-Au-Prince.

Cynthia is now heading north with a medical group to Deschapelles, Haiti to do relief work with “Hopital Albert Schweitzer”. The hospital did not collapse from the earthquake and is still functioning. She will be fitting people with prosthetics as well as provide general medical treatment for the next 9 days.

Cynthia and I, her family and the Haitian people appreciate all of your generosity.

Thank you for your kindness,

John

Because the names of these people are not mine to share, I just won't share them; but with that said, all the thanks go to the real people doing something!

That phrase "be the change you want to see in the world", might have something to it.

NaBloPoMo Day 21 Post 19 - Ska Brew

While I still insist that coworker Matt is a traitor and scoundrel for leaving HOK, I still felt compelled to buy my ska buddy some Ska Brewing Company beer. Here's what it looks like...




Other than that I have little to say this morning! Here's a word...
Queen's Boulevard: A major street in Queens that is known to be one of the most dangerous streets to cross in NYC. Queens Boulevard is a major commercial strip for many of the neighborhoods it cuts through, which includes Briarwood, Forest Hills, Rego Park, Elmhust, Woodside, Sunnyside, and Long Island City. Queens Boulevard is quite possibly the widest non highway in NYC. Through much of its stretch, it's a 12 lane multi-median divided street. Queens Boulevard starts off at Jamaica Avenue in Jamaica, Queens and goes all the way to the Queensboro bridge and to Manhattan.

NaBloPoMo Day 19 Post 16 - The Extent of My Design Abilities

I was asked to make a poster for the structures group. I was given 10 photos to use. The rest was up to me to make up. This is the extent of my design abilities...sad to say, but at least I got to mark a task off my list!

[click here for large version]

I'm an engineer, not a graphic designer, what more could you expect??

Word...
Kentucky doorbell: To drive up to someone's house or apartment and proceed to honk the horn until they come out rather than exiting the vehicle and going to the door.

P.S. I was asked what the small structure in front of (and inside the circle) was (shown in construction)... after some research I found out that it is a cistern for collecting rainwater. It was designed by another company.

Collapsed Tunnel Embiggens the Despair

I tell myself that there is an end to the tunnel, but I haven't seen it yet, and I'm somehow sure I'm collapsed inside! I did get some good advice from Mike C. though. He says I should "suck the dampness from [my] hair for [water] 'til the rescuers come find [me]".

There's no denying that I'm stressed out. The canker sores and pound of chocolate that I've recently eaten are sure signs! I haven't had time to write and I find it aggravating. If I find it to the end of the tunnel having survived the odds, I will be amazed by myself!

So I s'pose I could update you on a few things that have come and gone since I last recall writing...

A boy climbed into a balloon and floated away...but not really. It was a hoax.

I moved to a new desk at work.



I camped in freezing cold weather that was the epitome of pure camping weather.

I watched mass leaf suicide the Sunday we left camping as all the frost covered leaves jumped to their untimely deaths.

I've been given a "second chance".

I left work one day without my glasses and wallet, how the hell did I pull that off? I need both of those to get home [legally that is].

I got invited to a Masquerade Ball [ballroom gown and the whole 9 yards] but it falls on a date that I am out of town. I'm torn on what to do as I'd love to go to California, but I need me time so badly, as well as the opportunity to dress in a gown with a mask! Any suggestions?

I made plans to go see Where The Wild Things Are on Thursday, yea!!

And I guess I'm finally coming out of the closet...to tell my readers, I am reading the Twilight series and I'm enjoying it! Yes, there it is, I feel better getting that out in the open. I am reading the Twilight series! Please don't judge, thanks.

Well, that about wraps up what I am able to fit into a quick written dialogue for now...so I'll give you some words and move along some more of my darkened tunnel.

pimpstress: A female pimp.

hostage lunch: Meal purchased by the company, often pizza, and delivered for employees whose bosses require them to attend a meeting or work over their lunch hour.

stoner's Graceland: Another name for Wendy's [damn I like me some cheese fries and Frosty from Wendy's!]

In use: The late hours, stoner-friendly food, and 99-cent value menu are the main reasons Dave Thomas is to stoners what Elvis is to your grandma.

left-handed Web site: A porn Web site.

Bengal: A chick with an ugly face but a smoking body. After the football team the Cincinnati Bengals, who have sweet jerseys but terrible helmets. [I'll have to have Amanda or Andy verify this word for me]

embiggen: A perfectly cromulent word meaning to make bigger.

In use: A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

Bogota, Columbia

Bogota, Columbia.

That's close to where he'll end up for a while. Bogota, Columbia. It's kind of close to the Panama Canal, I mean, if we're speaking in terms of nearness of land mass. It would be like saying that Tennessee is close to the Gulf of Mexico. Not a lie, but not a marker either.

Bogota, Columbia. It's on the Western side of South America, North of the Equator, but very near the Equator [hot hot hot]. I know very little about the area except for what the television tells me; the television tells me that Bogota is the capital of a country that produces drugs and is essentially ran by what we near Chicago think of as Mafia. Columbia has been in the business of taking political hostages. By political hostage I do not mean hostages who are politicians (though some have been). What I mean is that they take hostages to gain a "political" leverage; but more often than not, they take hostages simply for the ransom. While the US government does not negotiate for hostages, families will.

Bogota, Columbia. It's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, I might be afraid to go alone though. He'll be fine. He says that he fits the part. He looks like his relatives. Apparently though, his scam is up once he speaks. He's got an accent. It's an American accent on his Spanish.

Bogota, Columbia. It's not the only place he's going! He's going all over the Western Hemisphere! I'd say lucky him, but one of his places that he's going is to Washington state to take the SE licensure exam [gack].

Ruben. That's who "he" is...the "he" of this story. I spoke of him briefly before in this blog. He's an amazing individual that I wish everyone had the opportunity to meet. He is no longer working at HOK, he's moving on with his life. He deserves and needs to move on to other things. He's an amazing individual.

Ruben. He came this morning to pack his things. I said good bye, but not "forever good bye". We'll speak again. I keep tabs on the people I think are decent and wonderful and amazing people. The people I wish everyone could meet. But he is off now, to meet other people, to visit his friends and family.

Bogota, Columbia. Where some of his family lives.

Bland Today

Today's choice in footwear:

Argyle socks and rubber-polka-dotted-rain-boots!

[A message to Becky: I didn't make it to the shoe store this past weekend, so I didn't get to partake in the shoe sales...what all did you get?? You should be posting this stuff! :)]

Not a lot of time today, have to hammer down and get some work out in addition to packing my things as we are moving to a new desks this week. When I saw we, I mean the entire structures group. Besides lack of storage for my many books and building codes; as well as the fear that now everyone will see me crying at my desk, I'm really looking forward to the change!

Word...
fojo: Female mojo

Tied Bake Off

Today at work we had a little bake-off to raise money for United Way. I love to bake but to not need to eat the goodies, so when I get a chance to bake, I'm usually on it!

I chose to make my pumpkin roll and am glad I did! Rachel P. and I tied for second place! Wahooooeeeeyyy!!!

Jessica May won first place with her gooey butter cake, and really it's hard to beat gooey butter cake!

Here are a couple of photos:


The cupcakes on the right are vegan beet cupcakes! Yummy too!


The apple tart to the left is the prettiest dish on the table! The key lime pie on the right was my tie!


My dessert is the roll on the green plate!

Bye Justin

It's one of those days when the temperature is just about perfect and the sun is shining down to warm the skin as the cool breeze brushes your hair around your face. It was so nice that I got off the train a stop early so I could walk the extra half mile to the building in which my office resides.

I am however a bit saddened today. I've known for some time that my blog crush Justin was up to something. You might recognize that I've had a blog crush for some time as I've written about him for about a half year now. Well today he posted his Two-Weeks Notice. Since initially "meeting" Justin, we've become friends on Facebook so I've been enlightened to his newest adventures which are always seemingly amusing [for example: "I had to stand in a trough to have a shower this morning", or "Anyone know how/where I can become a certified drivers-ed instructor?", and even as simple as "On a bus to London..."]. It'll just be sad to watch him go. I do have to say though, [I hope he reads this], Justin is much braver than I am. It takes a lot of courage to grasp the concept of being unhappy with a career choice; then to leave it behind and try something new. It's scary, and I commend him for his change! So I say good luck to him, but I know his luck from having read his blogs, there's really no point to wishing any luck to him! But he knows he has a pal in St. Louis, and that's just swell for now!

I did do something different yesterday, which consisted of going to a food demo show! I've done this once before though never blogged about it. A friend, Kelly S., works at a place called The Kitchen Conservatory. It's a cool place where they sell kitchen/cooking/baking items, but also where they teach cooking classes. What happens at the demo shows I've gone to, she [or the chef of the class] cooks a three course meal (and cocktail) in front of an audience of [at most] 14 people all stationed around a counter where she works. We the audience then get to eat her delicious food! Well, last night's was all about lavender [my favorite smell]. If you ever get the opportunity, please try the Honey-Lavendar Ice Cream. It was divine! You can read all about the stuff we got to try at Kelly's blog found at barbaricgulp.com!

Since I'm around today, I shall share a word...
amish: [urban slang definition] To be completely grounded and deprived of all means of modern technology. [a.k.a my mom]

Cartoon Steph

I am super bitchy today, I almost feel as though the wind has been knocked out of me, as if I’ve been shoved to the floor and kicked around a bit. I want to talk about most of it so you’ll have to bear with me and endure a long and possibly boring blog. I will alternate the goods and bads.

I’ll start with bad…yesterday a coworker who shall remain nameless got some really bad news. I refuse to mention specifics of the news [I don’t gossip here] because it’s horrible and I can’t even imagine the sorrow. All you need to know is that when you hear your coworker that upset; you should realize how important people are.

A good thing, also relating to a coworker, is that Justin, my blog crush, recommended some bands I might like. One of these bands, Billy Talent, is coming to St. Louis in October. He sent the recommendation based on the fact that they play shows with a band I like Alexisonfire. Nice suggestion Justin, I thank you sincerely!

A crappy thing is that I glooped mustard all over my shirt at work, then proceeded to open my soda to have it explode all over my desk and pants. This of course is all part of the day where nothing seems to work. I can’t get my building model to behave how I would expect; it won’t mesh right for a finite element analysis, among other crappy ass things!

A good thing…for those of you that think I am too prepared [looking at you Christine], I managed to dig up another decent shirt to wear at work that is mustard-less and cola-less.

Now, I'm tired of crappy ass stuff so I am going to ignore how crabby and pissed off I am. I am going to ignore my rant on media. I am going to ignore my rant on people who think they are better than me. I am going to ignore my rant on people who ignore me. Instead I am going to show you a cartoonized version of myself that I think is adorable. It is a work in progress by Mike C. Should you feel compelled to make your very own cartoon version of me, please do so. I am very amused by the thought!


Before I go I want to send a quick thanks to Ironstef and Mike C. for dinner and a wonderful discussion of Skank Ham. I want to thank Becky for allowing us to come hang out in the pub (there really are few options in GC). I want to thank those people on Twitter to which I randomly/seldomly communicate; you all always seem to have a way to make me laugh or smile (though you probably don't know it you certainly deserve a thanks). You would be surprised how a quick step away from work and into some silly video, or even some smart article/blog can really just wake me up, clear my head, and get me back on course. If there is ever a way I could help you, I certainly hope you'd ask!

Word...
cubular: Anything that is "cool" in a "business-geek" office context; often used ironically. This is a term derived from "cubicle" and the surf-slang "tubular".

I'd Like Upper Decker for $1011, Alex

WOW, stressful day that has thus far included the following (please note it's only noon as I write this):

-A legal issue I tried to help a friend with (can't discuss because if I did, there would be an e-trail)
-A meeting where we (the structural engineers) had to piss a bunch of people off, maybe not so much pissed off, but we made them very unhappy!
-Poor Meeting Notes:

-FedEx pissed me off, yet again!
-I snapped at a coworker!
-I had an argument about "just because you do it that way doesn't mean the way I do it is wrong"!
-More coordination issues between the architectural and structural modeling in my project.
-The highlight though, a $1011 mobile phone bill! It's being taken care of, and no, I don't owe that much. But fuck, try waking up and starting your day with that!

It's a good thing that I have the following fun things to talk about:

-I made up a new word... Brittanyized: to not wear panties while wearing a skirt.
-I have become a lifer with AT&T thanks to my favorite new customer service agent Carlos Fuentes. I still need to pen a letter to confirm his awesomeness with AT&T!
-I have re-established that I can be useful to people with legal quandaries, despite my callous nature!
-I'm drinking new types of tea today, fun!
-I found out what an "upper-decker" is...
-Best story I've heard in a while and it goes like this...

Two renters, Eric and Dave go home one night. They arrive to find that someone has changed the locks. How odd they think. They call the homeowner who has no idea what they are talking about. They call anyone they can think of that would play a mean joke on them, but to no avail. During this time they find out that someone has also now cleaned the back yard. It's a curious thought, who comes over to change your locks and clean your back yard? Want to know the rest? Tune in tomorrow!

Words...
quarter to eight: A BMW 745i Sedan.
overflow mode: Used to describe the actions of a short-tempered female who always seems to be angry. Related to mensturation and PMS.

WORK BLOGGING, again!

I blogged for work, please go take a look!

It's about square dancing!

Amusing stuff, if you ask me!

A-List Party

Yesterday was the A-List Party!


I have mentioned it before that the HOK Blog made the A-List in the St. Louis Magazine for best company blog. We rock, of course we'd make the A-List. Anyway, I got to go to the party and it was interesting! As soon as John, Jeannette, and I walked up to the roped off street party, we thought, "There is no way Justin would go in there". I later confirmed with him, that would have been the likely result!



I hitched a lift from John Gilmore who was also taking Jeannette to the party. We didn't want to stay at work until party time, so we took off and went to Llywellen's for some pre-party drinks! I went with a Tennant's and snacked on some chips and rarebit. We then walked on over to Maryland Plaza in the fabulous Central West End.


There was a red carpet that led into the party. Inside the roped off street party, tables were set up for A-Listers wares (restaurants, etc.). I sampled here and there, but didn't check with enough to have any sort of review on that! It was all free for the sampling though, so I did take advantage of some adult beverages. There were a handful of other HOKer's at the party enjoying the samples and company. Time passed quickly for the party that started up well before the 7:30 pm ticket time! Towards the evening, our group meandered upstairs to the bar Mandarin where we stood on the rooftop to look down on the party below. I had a refreshing but sweet martini (with a cucumber in it) and a lovely gin and tonic!







It was about quarter after ten when I took out of the party to catch a train home to the East Side. Along my journey I heard, "Stephanie Spann, how are you?"; it took me no time at all to recognize Seth Teel's voice, as it's one of a kind. He was hanging out at the Majestic enjoying his own adult beverages with friends (and tossing around a spiderman beach ball, hmm...).

Anyway, despite the fact that I didn't dress in any shabby-chic wardrobe with fabulous-too-tall-for-me-stilettos and carried my messenger bag with me in a sort of unclassy manner; it was a great party. I didn't fit in, but I was proud to not fit in also. No need to match the masses! I was asked what I did wear. The answer: a simple black dress (knee length, boat neck, pocketed front, loose fitting, belted at middle, cotton) with my pink and gray loafers! Yes, loafers and dress. It's me. Did you expect anything else?








[This was updated at a later date and time!]

Word-
8008135: A way to spell "boobies" so no one knows what it is, usually indicating porn or pictures of boobies. Used by computer nerds.

Books and Psycho Killer

I have to report that yesdterday, I slept like a dream! I'm not sure if it had to do with the fact that I'd stayed up too late the night before; or if it was due to the fact I worked out at the gym for 2.5 hours; or if it was due to the yoga class I went to that really got my muscles good and stretched. In any case, it was exactly what I needed.

I just heard Psycho Killer (it played through on my iPod). I like that song, a Talking Heads song I always forget about. Odd though, singing fucking French. Speaking of French; I love that in the book Fool, by Christopher Moore, Pocket the fool will say "Moi?", "in perfect fucking French". If you read the book, you'll see what I mean. It's catchy!

In terms of books these days, I have a stack of borrowed books to get around to; for example, I have the Twilight series (which I expect to be cute, but perhaps not the best source for literary enticement) and I have another series of books Eva lent me that I can't even recall. I also have a small group of books that I bought but still haven't gottent through (either because I can't get interested or because I have gotten around to them).

And still yet on books, I did buy a David Sedaris book. After reading Moore, I am just really into wanting some good satires. There are only a few books left by Moore that I have not read, and to be honest, I want to drag them out for as long as I can. It's dissappointing to find an author you really enjoy who happens not to have a ridiculous amount of books to read. So anyway, if you know of any good satire authors, or really ANY good books, please send your suggestions my way! Please!

Anyway, so I'm dressed cute today, well as cute as I can make myself. I have a party for work this evening. It's the A List '09 Party! Very exciting! I'll be sure to report later!

Word-
weapons grade: Better than the rest, of higher quality.

Crunk On Gatorade

I started my morning off great! Rode my bike into work, drank Gatorade, and really, does anything get better than Gatorade? I think not!



Anyway, I have two really cool gifts to mail out today. I would post what those are, but the recipients read this so it will just have to be a surprise! I did take photos so that once the recipients receive their gifts, I can share with you!

I posted online for the HOK Life blog, I think you should go check it out! (I of course always think you should check out the HOK Life blog)!

I am a traitor. I went yesterday and bought a lime green iPod Nano to replace my stinking bastard of a music player I once called my beloved Zune. The Zune won't work, and it pissed me off, so I traded sides! The blasted Zune still doesn't work, so I am contemplating driving over it tonight just to get some aggression out of my angtsy bones!

For Drew, here is the Chet the Jet link!

Word-
crunk: Highly intoxicated. Combination of "crazy" and "drunk". Made popular by hip-hop artist Lil Jon.