What I Did On My Summer Vacation

I wrote here if you are signed up to read: My Private Blog. It's a blog I started that is about me and all the madness that happens in my head.

I read these books: Bloodsucking Fiends, A Love Story; Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bible; Broken.

I read these blogs: kottke.org, Barbaric Gulp, Heavy Backpack, and my newest fave-I Did Not Know That Yesterday!

Things related to people: Bella learned to poo and jog at the same time; Riley was coaxed to poo by telling him "it's okay, everyone poops"; I missed my Cousin Betsy's party so to her I say "Congratulations!"; I love Tim Armstrong; hang in there Mike C. and Holly; Eva and I are talking about getting tattoos, nice idea, we'll see if it happens soon; I got Bernie's CD in the mail last week, it's great, check it out!

Other things I did: went to a food cooking demo class; bought a trifle bowl, new patches, and insulated bag; lounged, jogged, biked, rode roller coasters, played in a water park, and walked a lot; ate ice cream and cookies and ate too much food in general; got annoyed, got some sleep, had insomnia, got worn out; took some pictures; picked some berries; went to see Rancid (oh how I love Tim Armstrong). I'm sure there's more!

I'm happy to say that True Blood is back on HBO. I could just eat up that vampire Bill!

Words you missed:
trade junk: to have casual sex
remasculate: To grow one's balls back after they have been shrunken by an especially effeminate activity. The opposite of emasculate.
gradumacate: To successfully complete four years of edumacation with passing grades, capped off by attending gradumacation.
e-haircut: A change in a person's online identity. Also called an "i-haircut".
shark:To engage in overt attempts at procuring a partner of the opposite sex. You can accuse someone of sharking by putting your upright, straight hand up to and at right angles to your nose and forehead, and weaving your head from side to side as if you were a shark in the murky depths.
chesticles: Female breasts.
work hot: A person who may or may not be hot, but is the most attractive person in the set of people you work with so you lust after him/her. [Ed. note: There is always someone to lust, isn't there?!]

Today's Word:
herm:A hermaphrodite.

EEEEEEEEEEE

RANCID: "Last One To Die" video

I Made a Silly Movie!

Yea, go ahead and watch, it's a pretty silly video. No making fun of me though!

Stephysite.Blogspot.com

...I hit it, the sweet spot!

I got up out of bed, dressed myself, hopped into the car with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, and drove. I got there, walked in, swiped my card and hit the locker room. In there, I could hear her voice. It was usually much more mellow in yoga, but Maggie was teaching a step aerobics class at this time of day. I locked up and plugged the buds into my ears. A couple deep breaths and I walked out into the open gym. I glanced around and saw my destination. Most people choose equipment they enjoy to use, is easy to use, or is at least open. Not me, I chose this one because I find it easiest for testing theories [...but whatcha gonna do when everyone goes on without you...]. I headed straight for the treadmill, the one next to the guy who seemed less abrasive as a human being [...he said this is a Mecca, I said: "This ain't no mecca, man, this place is fucked"...]. I stepped up and hit "Quick Start", and increased the volume [mmhhhmmmm mhhmmm ...]. I started warming up first, it's difficult to go straight to the testing without at least getting my heart rate up [almost heaven, west Jamaica...]. I people watched while I warmed up, stepping with the beat of Country Roads by Toots and the Maytals [..son you remind me of my home far away...]. I must have smelled bad, the guy next to me left, good, less adjacent footfalls to mess with my experiment! Good, Monkey Man is on, lets kick this puppy up a notch [...tell you baby, huggin up the big monkey man...]!

It's at this point that I chuckle to myself. I am probably the only person in this gym to try and estimate the footfalls required to match the harmonic frequency of a treadmill! I changed my step and pace a few times. Heavier, further apart footfalls seemed good [...black coat, white shoes, blackhat, cadillac...]. It was time to up the pace to a jog, after all Rancid was in full effect, my body needed to move faster! One click of the up button at a time, I used my heaviest allowable footfall with no luck [...the boy's a time bomb...]. Ah, I hit it, the sweet spot. The treadmill quivered with excitement, I was at 4.9 miles per hour. I decreased my heavy footfall to a lighter one and it stopped; so back to the heavy footfall I thought [...dying to see the light, and when they see it, they see it's not bright...]. I slowed the machine back down and increased my footfalls with a lighter step. I messed with various speeds between 2.5 and 3.5 miles per hour, she was a stable machine! I kept her here while I people watched and saw a man torturing a woman, and continued to fall in love with Tim Armstrong [...on the outside looking in wit the freaks and the thugs and all the punk rockers...]. I lost myself in thought thinking of boys like Tim Armstrong, laughing a little bit out loud so that I got a few looks [...then one day Matt says let's get the band together let's do this one more time...]. Oh well, enough of boys in hats and braces, back to work sister (good timing the song changed, my body needed to move, and I needed to get the drool off my face)!

Up the speed, back to my 4.9 [...she asked me if I would stand at her side, like glue that I would 'til the end of the night...]. Excitement everywhere [...she put her head on my shoulder, I started to hold her, swingin' and swayin', the mornin' began...]!

It was my experiment, so I changed footfalls a few times and dropped to 4.7 and up to 5.3. With lighter steps I needed to be up near 5.1, if I went back to heavy I could keep her at 4.9! It was a good experiment, going exactly as I had suspected [...rollin' deep, coming up, not asleep, waking up, got a light? smoke it up, Zig Zag, roll it up...]!

I was starting to get tired and was at least halfway through my 30 minute experiment. I felt parched, as though sand were going to pour out of my mouth at any minute. I'm sure I looked silly in my attire, but I didn't care, I was here with a purpose! I tried a couple more times [...reggae got soul...]...[give 'em the boot, the roots the radicals]...laughing, radicals, math, me, harmonic frequencies, stares! I was beat, I hit stop, stepped off, grabbed the goo to wipe her down and wobbled back to my stuff. My experiment was over. Thank God, my experiment was over!