Tad Stressful

So today was a tad stressful for me, some details I will spare you. The whole idea of today though, was that I had loads to do, no real time to get it done, as well as waiting for a call, missing that call, but then catching that call later to get not great news, but much better than expected. Now, I need to get going, but I have a tip for you, a word for you, and positive note!

To reduce anxiety, keep a journal to vent. At the end of every entry, write something positive!

My positive note is that someone [Amanda] got me socks. I needed that! Thanks! Socks are one of those little things that get me by. Like music. Ah, Rancid.

Word...
break your crayons: An expression used when something makes you very upset or sad, or ruins your whole day.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

I wrote here if you are signed up to read: My Private Blog. It's a blog I started that is about me and all the madness that happens in my head.

I read these books: Bloodsucking Fiends, A Love Story; Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bible; Broken.

I read these blogs: kottke.org, Barbaric Gulp, Heavy Backpack, and my newest fave-I Did Not Know That Yesterday!

Things related to people: Bella learned to poo and jog at the same time; Riley was coaxed to poo by telling him "it's okay, everyone poops"; I missed my Cousin Betsy's party so to her I say "Congratulations!"; I love Tim Armstrong; hang in there Mike C. and Holly; Eva and I are talking about getting tattoos, nice idea, we'll see if it happens soon; I got Bernie's CD in the mail last week, it's great, check it out!

Other things I did: went to a food cooking demo class; bought a trifle bowl, new patches, and insulated bag; lounged, jogged, biked, rode roller coasters, played in a water park, and walked a lot; ate ice cream and cookies and ate too much food in general; got annoyed, got some sleep, had insomnia, got worn out; took some pictures; picked some berries; went to see Rancid (oh how I love Tim Armstrong). I'm sure there's more!

I'm happy to say that True Blood is back on HBO. I could just eat up that vampire Bill!

Words you missed:
trade junk: to have casual sex
remasculate: To grow one's balls back after they have been shrunken by an especially effeminate activity. The opposite of emasculate.
gradumacate: To successfully complete four years of edumacation with passing grades, capped off by attending gradumacation.
e-haircut: A change in a person's online identity. Also called an "i-haircut".
shark:To engage in overt attempts at procuring a partner of the opposite sex. You can accuse someone of sharking by putting your upright, straight hand up to and at right angles to your nose and forehead, and weaving your head from side to side as if you were a shark in the murky depths.
chesticles: Female breasts.
work hot: A person who may or may not be hot, but is the most attractive person in the set of people you work with so you lust after him/her. [Ed. note: There is always someone to lust, isn't there?!]

Today's Word:
herm:A hermaphrodite.

No Sleep

No sleep. At least 12 hours of work ahead of me. New Rancid is wonderful. Sims 3 is now out, the geek in me is jumping outta my skin!

Word of the day-
coming in hot: Having to use the restroom in a dire manner as you arrive at your destination; to head straight for the bathroom after getting out of the car.

I Love to Travel.

Okay, so a quick update, then I have to get to work. I got home yesterday to find a package left on my bed. One quick glance at the return addy and I knew it was my new Rancid album. It's sweet. I could just hug those boys. They'd probably look at me funny and tell me to get away; but I'd hug them anyway! Darlings I tell you.

Work stuff: I had a deadline set for July 1. Just a schematic design package so realistically what I already have done is enough; I am an over-achiever so not good enough for me. I will be working 10-12 hour days every day this week. Good news is that I had planned to take next week off to hide for a week. I'd tell you where but that would ruin the point of hiding! But, the extra time I work this week will be applied to next week so less vacay time to be used. Saves me about 2 days! Amanda and I will plan a trip with the extra time. I love to travel, this is perfect.

Other: So I have two friends, I think of one as a best friend (never ever going to be above my Eva in ranks, so don't go getting some ego), and another as a new friend (some one I think of as more than an acquaintance). Even if, let's say for example, they hated each other one day, I would want to think of them as I do now, liking each in their respective ways. I'd also like to say I want was is best for them, and what that is, I have no idea. I try to be judicial in my judgements. Fairness for everyone is the least anyone deserves from me. Having said that, I want to mention that I think he is worth the chance, I really do. If in the end, it all comes to nil, then she doesn't deserve him. She doesn't deserve his compassion, his idiosyncrasies, his charm (if that is what one can call it)!


Likes/Dislikes:

New Rancid album, Let the Dominoes Fall. Especially the acoustic album. I think Eva will love the acoustic song New Orleans. It's lovely. You Want It, You Got It has a zydeco feel to it, yet another Eva will love. EEE, I can't wait for their show in 'bout two weeks.


Industrialization of Jamaica

Word-
elevision: The act of people in an elevator staring up, uncomfortably, at the numbers as they light up when the car moves.

EEEEEEEEEEE

RANCID: "Last One To Die" video

Sleepy Thank You's

Yesterday was a fairly decent day. I was tired all day, not surprising since I'm not sleeping well. Yet again, I didn't sleep well, although last night wasn't about having a bad dream. My legs were agitated, leading me to confirm my belief that I have Restless Leg Syndrome. I lay down to sleep and my legs are just annoyed; so they ached, fidgeted, and kept me awake. My mind is all over the place too. I figure that eventually I will be so tired that I will just crash into the bed and sleep for 24 hours. I'm at least hoping for something like that! I really do want to sleep!

Tonight I have an eye appointment. I came into work early to leave early. I like doing this for a couple of reasons; 1) I get to save some PTO, 2) I get a lot more work done when it's this quiet around me! So I am sure you are wondering why I am blogging when I have other things I should be doing! It's a valid point, I should be working, but I AM multi-tasking. While I wait for my program to load, run an analysis, etc., I write. Thankfully I have Auto Draft Save! What appears to usually be a 15-30 minute written blog is usually over a course of a couple hours!

Anyway, so I have a few thanks and shout outs today.

I wanted to say thank you to Kelly G. for reading my blogs yesterday. Well, I don't know what, or even how many she read, but I know she at least read one blog, she left a comment. That counts, so thanks!

Thanks again to Kelly G., an accomplished English teacher, for choosing not to comment on my "run-on-sentence" style of writing!

I want to say thank you to Chris for shutting the window because the damned frogs that are breeding in the pool are loud jerks that are inconsiderate, and to think I feel compelled to save them! (Well, yea, I still feel compelled to create a loving eco-system for them in the back yard so they'll stay out of the damned pool)!

Thanks to Eva who made an awesome invitation for my birthday party...thanks for throwing me a party! Thanks for making such a cute invitation for my party! Thanks for letting me dress up in ultra-sweet 50's clothes and bowling shoes! Despite how I may act, I am looking forward to it! (If you didn't get an invite and want one, write me)!

A shout out to Sharline who is passing exams at a spectacular rate and doing well with her new job. I am very excited for you!

Thanks to Holly for responding to my blog. Glad to know you are getting through the paper stacks. Hang in there!

Thanks to Shane for playing some great tunes for me, I always appreciate it! I am very glad to see you are figuring out this blog thing even if you still have no idea what purpose it serves!

Thanks to Mike C. for ... wait, have you been nice to me at all this week? Just kidding doll! Thank you for checking out the HOK Life blog, and looking at my bio! I love writing, and getting to write for work is a lot of fun. Especially when they let me be me (read the bio)!

Thanks to Seth for saying that the short 1.6 mile bike ride from my house to the bus station is considered riding my bike to work; therefore allowing me to participate in National Bike Month!

Happy Birthday Clint!

So, for those of you reading, I hope you will at least leave a comment to let me know you read. It's nice to know who is out there and to know how you are doing! So Chris, Drew, Becky, Maureen, Eva, Sharline, Kelly G., Mike C., Holly, Skweak, Shane, Jason, Amanda, Sara, Dusty, Rancid... thanks for reading; be sure to comment or send me a message so I know what you are up to or at least let me know that you are okay! You should know by now that I am a worrier!

Word of the day-
no diggity: No doubt; for sure.

The Gospel According to Biff

It's Monday. I can't say if I'm glad or sad about this. On one hand, it gets me back to my routine, on the other hand it gets me back to my routine! In either case, my hands are full of routine!

Anyway hi-lights from the weekend and road trip to Kansas City:

Boca di Boppi (actually Buca di Beppo, but Eva and I took it to extremes and had a whole conversation that no one else understood! In fact, I am sure we didn't understand either!)

Matt and Erika Herring have an adorable child (looks like a baby). It, I mean she, cries a lot. I have a soothing effect on the child for some reason. Eva has a similar effect. I believe this is for two reasons. The child loved our plump bosoms, and we sang Rancid to her. Who wouldn't love to be serenaded by Rancid?!?! Her name is Molly and she's a cool little thing. For the record, they are good parents.

There were weird rabbits located around the Plaza in KC. Don't ask me where the Plaza is, all I know is that it was south of our hotel. Anyway, weird rabbits all over. Giant human sized weird rabbits.

Eva and I bought boots. Larry's boots. Pretty sweet if you ask me!

Free hugs were being given out at the Plaza. Free hugs guy restored my faith in humanity, but as usual, that quickly flew right out the door. What happened? Oh nothing really, just a accumulation of annoyances. I have a very very tiny list of people that are allowed on my planet (free hugs guy is one of them). Sorry, but there isn't enough room on my awesome planet for people that make me mad or annoyed. (Holly & Drew, you are both good, you are family that I like, you get to stay so don't get paranoid).

I think I drank sour milk, still alive though.

My newest Madness album showed up in the mail!

The English Beat were awesome. Eva and I almost didn't even go. The local KC crap radio station was holding a Prom Theme for the show. Eva and I showed up in our cowboy boots, jeans, and regular tops. Everyone else (except for maybe 3 other people) were in prom gear. Tuxedos, dresses, gowns, etc. We did however go in and skanked our happy little hearts to soreness! An adorable boy standing next to us (in a stylish and dapper hat (drool)) skanked with us. The girl he was with was not too happy about this. Oh well, we had a great time!! Great, and I mean great show!

My blog crush Justin Z. made the Toronto Star (local paper). You should read the article and blog!

I, as usual, bought a new book to read even though I am reading two books (and a third for work) as I write! Looks good though. A book by Christopher Moore called A Dirty Job. Very few people could vie for favorite author in comparison to Douglas Adams, but Moore is one of them! He wrote a book called Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal that I really enjoyed. I'm excited to read Moore (yes, pun intended)!

Well, this is where I need to stop and move forward with my routine! So now, the words, you know what I'm talking about:

Friday - bardcore: A pornographic movie with a Shakespearean plot.
Weekend - C and E: People who show up at church only on Christmas and Easter.
Today - girlfriend button: The button on the controller of an Xbox, Playstation, or Wii you have to press to pause the game when your girlfriend wants to talk.

Oooh, 2 of My Favorites!

Acoustic Rancid!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8Y4N89oaxE

...I hit it, the sweet spot!

I got up out of bed, dressed myself, hopped into the car with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, and drove. I got there, walked in, swiped my card and hit the locker room. In there, I could hear her voice. It was usually much more mellow in yoga, but Maggie was teaching a step aerobics class at this time of day. I locked up and plugged the buds into my ears. A couple deep breaths and I walked out into the open gym. I glanced around and saw my destination. Most people choose equipment they enjoy to use, is easy to use, or is at least open. Not me, I chose this one because I find it easiest for testing theories [...but whatcha gonna do when everyone goes on without you...]. I headed straight for the treadmill, the one next to the guy who seemed less abrasive as a human being [...he said this is a Mecca, I said: "This ain't no mecca, man, this place is fucked"...]. I stepped up and hit "Quick Start", and increased the volume [mmhhhmmmm mhhmmm ...]. I started warming up first, it's difficult to go straight to the testing without at least getting my heart rate up [almost heaven, west Jamaica...]. I people watched while I warmed up, stepping with the beat of Country Roads by Toots and the Maytals [..son you remind me of my home far away...]. I must have smelled bad, the guy next to me left, good, less adjacent footfalls to mess with my experiment! Good, Monkey Man is on, lets kick this puppy up a notch [...tell you baby, huggin up the big monkey man...]!

It's at this point that I chuckle to myself. I am probably the only person in this gym to try and estimate the footfalls required to match the harmonic frequency of a treadmill! I changed my step and pace a few times. Heavier, further apart footfalls seemed good [...black coat, white shoes, blackhat, cadillac...]. It was time to up the pace to a jog, after all Rancid was in full effect, my body needed to move faster! One click of the up button at a time, I used my heaviest allowable footfall with no luck [...the boy's a time bomb...]. Ah, I hit it, the sweet spot. The treadmill quivered with excitement, I was at 4.9 miles per hour. I decreased my heavy footfall to a lighter one and it stopped; so back to the heavy footfall I thought [...dying to see the light, and when they see it, they see it's not bright...]. I slowed the machine back down and increased my footfalls with a lighter step. I messed with various speeds between 2.5 and 3.5 miles per hour, she was a stable machine! I kept her here while I people watched and saw a man torturing a woman, and continued to fall in love with Tim Armstrong [...on the outside looking in wit the freaks and the thugs and all the punk rockers...]. I lost myself in thought thinking of boys like Tim Armstrong, laughing a little bit out loud so that I got a few looks [...then one day Matt says let's get the band together let's do this one more time...]. Oh well, enough of boys in hats and braces, back to work sister (good timing the song changed, my body needed to move, and I needed to get the drool off my face)!

Up the speed, back to my 4.9 [...she asked me if I would stand at her side, like glue that I would 'til the end of the night...]. Excitement everywhere [...she put her head on my shoulder, I started to hold her, swingin' and swayin', the mornin' began...]!

It was my experiment, so I changed footfalls a few times and dropped to 4.7 and up to 5.3. With lighter steps I needed to be up near 5.1, if I went back to heavy I could keep her at 4.9! It was a good experiment, going exactly as I had suspected [...rollin' deep, coming up, not asleep, waking up, got a light? smoke it up, Zig Zag, roll it up...]!

I was starting to get tired and was at least halfway through my 30 minute experiment. I felt parched, as though sand were going to pour out of my mouth at any minute. I'm sure I looked silly in my attire, but I didn't care, I was here with a purpose! I tried a couple more times [...reggae got soul...]...[give 'em the boot, the roots the radicals]...laughing, radicals, math, me, harmonic frequencies, stares! I was beat, I hit stop, stepped off, grabbed the goo to wipe her down and wobbled back to my stuff. My experiment was over. Thank God, my experiment was over!

What Songs Could You Not Live Without Hearing?

Well I successfully pulled off the longest work weekend of my life time. Okay, so maybe there was a worse one from college. I think what made this one so much more difficult is the combination of just being depressed and being sick. I need sleep bad, I am so tired and exhausted and lacking adequate oxygen I think! Throwing up sounds appealing at the moment!

It felt good yesterday to get a proverbial pat on the back from Andrew. It was nice to feel as though I helped and was wanted around. The feeling only lasted a little bit, but was nice when it was there.

So other things that happened this weekend: I have planned to meet Shane for tea in Dublin; got my tix for the London show of a lifetime; got the call that Amanda's grandma passed away (I had known it was coming since Dad passed away, their health seemed tied together); got a new dosage and variety of meds (which are so-so); made Andrew laugh during a hectic weekend (which was nice to see); Rachel K.'s shower got postponed (she and not-yet-born baby are doing well in the hospital); found out some one broke into our camper while in storage and stole my camping chairs (fuckers)!

So I guess I want to take a minute to say that I don't mean to scare people with my blogs. It's just how and where I vent. I can't say that I don't have myself scared, because frankly I am. I haven't felt this down and out in ages. I have my bouts, like the exam failing for example. But I rebound. I don't feel like I'm rebounding this time. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted, and ready to quit (yes quit everything). Thanks for caring though, and to offer to listen. It means a lot, but not as much as I think it should right now. The only thing I can really say about that right now is is "Don't Panic". I guess I at least found humor in the fact that Crystal thinks I hide depression well. I think if she knew me better she would see right through me! I also find humor in the fact that as depressed as I might be, I am still making terrible jokes, puns, and literary notes!

I would normally wrap the blog up about now and get to work. Screw that, I've been here working a lot lately, and I deserve a few minutes of blog time (or hours). So I can't think of anything to write, so I will wander back to my list of topics and write about one of those; that topic will be guitars! I do love music, so what better a way to try and cheer myself up than with a little bit of music talk! I can't get enough music ever! So here we go . . .

If you put your headphones on, and flip through your music player to Redemption Song by Bob Marley you hear the beginning of the song start with the soothing sound of stings being plucked over a hollow body called the acoustic guitar. The way this works is that the strings have individual resonant frequencies that produce a specific tone based on the vibration over this hollow body. I won't dwell on this portion of my topic. While I am intrigued by all objects' resonant frequencies, I am sure you are not! If you listen closely enough, you can almost hear the sound of grooved fingerprinted surfaces sliding along the strings to the locations needed to produce the sound required. It is the simplest of notes it seems. Daaa da da daa da da dada; daa da dada dadada daaa. I could replay the beginning of that song over and over and over again! It's a great song with my favorite lyrics being "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds".

Another song that I love to hear the guitar played to is I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie. It's another song where you hear the subtle shrieks of hand movement along the guitar neck. Another detail that makes this song so beautiful to me is the breathing you hear in the beginning guitar solo. Never paid attention to it? Well put the headphones back on, scroll through to the song, and hit play! Listen intently to the music, you'll hear the subtle sounds of hand movement and breathing. Lyrically, it's a beautiful song too. I think everyone wants to know that some one would feel that way about them; "If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark". If you feel that way about some one, please tell them! They may not know, and it may be the thing that keeps them from going insane!

Next on my list is Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley. I've mentioned this in a blog before. The breath, almost a sigh perhaps at the beginning of the song. Then a guitar solo that really goes from just an intro to a climax that ultimately leads into the song with some lyrics such as "your faith was strong but you needed proof", and "love is not a victory march; it's a cold and it's broken hallelujah". Brilliant!

We move along to something different, to say The Ol' Beggars Bush by Flogging Molly where the guitar is the blank canvas so to speak. It's melodic, but not overpowering so that the other instruments and singing are what promenade out of the headphones into your ears.

Then there are songs like Old Friend by Rancid where the guitar provides the base, but without that sound, the song would not be the same. It's the quick poppy sounds that really help make it identifiable and unique. Of course the lyrics are brilliant to me as well. "Good morning heartache; you're like an old friend; come and see me again". Ain't that the damned truth!

There are songs like Rock This Town by Stray Cats. It's fast and upbeat, but it's the base guitar that really sets the mood with the drums dancing right along side. The guitar jumps in with his quick movements that really make you think the guitarists fingers are going to get stuck and tangled in the guitar's strings!

Then there are the songs where the guitar is fast and furious and played with a heavy fist of fury, great for those moods where hitting something seems appropriate. Gosh, I have so many songs here I can't give you one example!! Imagine that, I would have music for the "hitting something" mood!

And just for Mike H. (who played Redemption Song for me on his acoustic guitar once); the Ramones! Ha, go on your tangent! I still love them, always will; so to your argument I say "whatever"!

So, I could really talk hours on this subject, there are a lot of songs I love. I want to know what songs are yours! What songs could you not live without hearing? Is it the guitar or drums or voices that get your thoughts into another state of mind? What kick have you been on lately?


Words of the weekend and today:
peasantvision: Television channels you get without a cable or satellite TV subscription.

nillionaire: Person without any money of their own.