The Gospel According to Biff

It's Monday. I can't say if I'm glad or sad about this. On one hand, it gets me back to my routine, on the other hand it gets me back to my routine! In either case, my hands are full of routine!

Anyway hi-lights from the weekend and road trip to Kansas City:

Boca di Boppi (actually Buca di Beppo, but Eva and I took it to extremes and had a whole conversation that no one else understood! In fact, I am sure we didn't understand either!)

Matt and Erika Herring have an adorable child (looks like a baby). It, I mean she, cries a lot. I have a soothing effect on the child for some reason. Eva has a similar effect. I believe this is for two reasons. The child loved our plump bosoms, and we sang Rancid to her. Who wouldn't love to be serenaded by Rancid?!?! Her name is Molly and she's a cool little thing. For the record, they are good parents.

There were weird rabbits located around the Plaza in KC. Don't ask me where the Plaza is, all I know is that it was south of our hotel. Anyway, weird rabbits all over. Giant human sized weird rabbits.

Eva and I bought boots. Larry's boots. Pretty sweet if you ask me!

Free hugs were being given out at the Plaza. Free hugs guy restored my faith in humanity, but as usual, that quickly flew right out the door. What happened? Oh nothing really, just a accumulation of annoyances. I have a very very tiny list of people that are allowed on my planet (free hugs guy is one of them). Sorry, but there isn't enough room on my awesome planet for people that make me mad or annoyed. (Holly & Drew, you are both good, you are family that I like, you get to stay so don't get paranoid).

I think I drank sour milk, still alive though.

My newest Madness album showed up in the mail!

The English Beat were awesome. Eva and I almost didn't even go. The local KC crap radio station was holding a Prom Theme for the show. Eva and I showed up in our cowboy boots, jeans, and regular tops. Everyone else (except for maybe 3 other people) were in prom gear. Tuxedos, dresses, gowns, etc. We did however go in and skanked our happy little hearts to soreness! An adorable boy standing next to us (in a stylish and dapper hat (drool)) skanked with us. The girl he was with was not too happy about this. Oh well, we had a great time!! Great, and I mean great show!

My blog crush Justin Z. made the Toronto Star (local paper). You should read the article and blog!

I, as usual, bought a new book to read even though I am reading two books (and a third for work) as I write! Looks good though. A book by Christopher Moore called A Dirty Job. Very few people could vie for favorite author in comparison to Douglas Adams, but Moore is one of them! He wrote a book called Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal that I really enjoyed. I'm excited to read Moore (yes, pun intended)!

Well, this is where I need to stop and move forward with my routine! So now, the words, you know what I'm talking about:

Friday - bardcore: A pornographic movie with a Shakespearean plot.
Weekend - C and E: People who show up at church only on Christmas and Easter.
Today - girlfriend button: The button on the controller of an Xbox, Playstation, or Wii you have to press to pause the game when your girlfriend wants to talk.

I Might Punch You In the Head

I needed, or at least wanted to blog again. These days I have been living lately have been so weird. A lot of people are getting bad news, a lot of people are getting good news, and it's all very bizarre stuff! I have opinions on most of these things; but I won't share them because they will likely NOT have any positive impact, and I don't think people will want to hear my opinions. Besides, it's all too much to share right now in a blog. For those of you that are uncomfortable with the word "blog", replace that word with "journal" or "story"!

So for starters, my day is going okay, you know run of the mill sort of stuff. Amanda and I agree to go to lunch across the street from my building. She gets there and shows me a note the cops left on her door last night. Very odd note. Anyway, it has to do with a friend, that for privacy reasons I will call Jeanette. So Jeanette is having some problems, we'll leave it at that; and no one can find her. The cops finally got her to answer her phone. She is at least as far as we know, okay. She's not in any trouble, but she left a note with a dentist that alarmed everyone.

I walk Amanda part of the way back to her building to ask if there is anything I can do to help; en route, the conversation unfolds like this:

Amanda referring to my beloved mobile phone says "You know you're addicted?" I respond, "To what, my phone?" Then...CONK...right in my head with her fist as she shouts "Juneau!"

I mean seriously, who punches people in the head while shouting "Juneau!"? The answer to that is Amanda! You see, she has these made up games in her head that she doesn't tell anyone that she's playing; so out of nowhere you might get smacked or punched in the head while she shouts words out! She gave me the rules, here they are:

CAPITOLS GAME If you see a license plate for a state to which you know the capitol, you can shout it out and punch the other person in the arm; however, if the state is Alaska, you get to punch the other person in the head; if the state is Hawaii, you get to punch them in the face! The exceptions are the state you are in, or any state that touches the state you are in; for instance, if you are in Missouri, you can't shout out Springfield when you see an Illinois license plate!

Yea, so I'm not going to dwell there, if you don't get it, just be forewarned that I might punch you in the head one day for what appears to be no reason at all. If I would have known this game back in the day, while in Ireland of all places, I would have punched Eva in the face while shouting "Honolulu"!

Anyway, it gets more bizarre, we get to a corner where I go back my way and she continues on her way. Right in the middle of conversation she points behind me and says, "It's a giant rabbit". I look, there is nothing there. She says, "No it's there and giant". I still don't see it! "The plastic thing across the next street!" Oh, wait I see it! What the hell man!?! I'm far too confused to get more confused! She made me laugh anyway, so not all bad I suppose.