Year In Review - Part II

As always, I made sure to have some escapade in my year.

This year was New York, NY; Kansas City, MO; Austin, TX; Santa Claus, IN; Dublin, Ireland; London, UK; Glasgow, Scotland; Berkeley, CA.

Here are a few pics...








Lessons Learned...

• Sometimes you have to get away be it for entertainment, avoidance, therapy, or your birthday. You just need to do it!


• Traveling alone has its rewards. You get to go where you want, do what you want, and all on your schedule.


• Traveling alone can be scary. When something goes wrong, you have only your brain to figure out what to do


• Traveling alone means it's hard to get good pictures. Yea, you can ask the random stranger to take a picture for you; but with my trust issues, no one was touching my camera!


• Sometimes the places you least expect to enjoy are the best and vice versa. I had high hopes for London though it proved much less enjoyable than anticipated. I had low hopes for Berkley and it proved to be a top on my list of places to return.

I Spare Your Fingers of My Vellum Wrath

It's funny that anyone would beg to avoid my wrath! It is especially funny to me that anyone would think I was an imposing threat of any kind! Well, there's always a first!

Two friends go on vacation. As vacations go, there's some bickering along the way. [You know what I'm talking about!]. Said friends come back from vacation choosing to disagree, but maintaining a mended friendship. Knowing that one of the friends would tell me all about the vacation (including the bickering), the other friend asks that when speaking to me, to ask that I spare him my wrath that is from being an overprotective friend. [Yea, that sounded confusing, sorry]. He didn't want me to hunt him down and slice the insides of his fingers with vellum. [You know that webby part where the fingers join, yea, that hurts when paper cut with vellum, so I use it as a threat]. So, Friend, You know who you are, I spare you this time, only because I now know after stories of this trip, that you truly are married to my dear friend!

In other subjects, I must send may thanks to my friend Becky for her donation! Thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks! I really appreciate it and as you know, there was no need to do so; which makes it mean so much more that you actually did make a donation! Next time you fund raise, call me first!!

NaBloPoMo Day Six Post Six - East Bay

San Fransisco..and East Bay may be one of the most beautiful things my eyes have ever seen! Truly breath taking!

onomatopoeia

I had a bad dream last night. I want to clarify that it wasn't so much of a nightmare, rather, just a bad dream. I have to admit I don't recall exactly what the dream was about, but I wanted to wake up very badly. These are the things I recall: I was very tired in my dream, I wanted to get away from everyone in my dream, people were continually speaking to me in languages I didn't understand that I later learned were just forms of onomatopoeia [=the naming of a thing or action by a vocal imitation of the sound, for example, hiss describes, well a hiss]!

I would guess this dream has to do with the reality of my life. I am tired, I do want to disappear, and I'm very confused by people. I keep thinking that if I simply disappeared, a lot of things would be better, for me, and everyone who has to be involved with my life. It's just not a feasible option at the moment, so I can't disappear. I also keep thinking that if I scream at the top of my lungs [where did this phrase come from?] I will feel better as well. It won't make anything feel better, it will just give me a sore throat. If I were an emo boy, I'd write a precious song about life. I'm neither a boy, emo, or a song writer, so that just won't do either. I read something from a former coworker, and it was really inspiring. She's starting over with her life, and that is commendable to me. There are a few things I would change. For starters, I'd work on being a minimalist [=simplicity]. I'm learning more and more that it's not things I want, it's actions I want. I don't care about the television. I do care if I go visit a friend. I don't care about having shoes, but I do care about having comfortable shoes for walking. I'm not saying that I don't want some of my things. I love my Zune, music, phone, computer, etc. It's just frustrating to have things around, with no enjoyment from them. I don't know where this happened, but it did, I have lost interest in things.

I have to say that looking in from the outside of my life, it isn't a bad thing to have lost interest, it's just seemingly very disappointing!

Now, for those of you reading this, I need to clarify that I do not want to shout "where did this phrase come from", I actually want to know where the phrase "top of my lungs" comes from, if you know, please enlighten me!

For those of you that are chuckling a little, it is okay to laugh, I try to write as light heartedly as possible because it hurts less. I have a very hard time being serious about my problems. I make lots of sarcastic jokes, it's how I deal with myself.

Anyway, I have to get to work. It's stuff I took home this weekend, but never got around to doing (random reasons) so I need to get on it! The good news is that I have booked my hotels for my July trip.

I leave you now with the words of this weekend and today:

twitterpated: Complete and immediate infatuation with someone or something that occurs with the onset of spring; giddy excitement rooted in the physical. From Walt Disney's movie Bambi.

In Use: Ask Marie about her new Army boy. She's so twitterpated she can barely talk.

self-first: The rule used to get out of the "bros before hos" rule. Only to be used when there is more than an 80% chance of getting laid.

I Might Punch You In the Head

I needed, or at least wanted to blog again. These days I have been living lately have been so weird. A lot of people are getting bad news, a lot of people are getting good news, and it's all very bizarre stuff! I have opinions on most of these things; but I won't share them because they will likely NOT have any positive impact, and I don't think people will want to hear my opinions. Besides, it's all too much to share right now in a blog. For those of you that are uncomfortable with the word "blog", replace that word with "journal" or "story"!

So for starters, my day is going okay, you know run of the mill sort of stuff. Amanda and I agree to go to lunch across the street from my building. She gets there and shows me a note the cops left on her door last night. Very odd note. Anyway, it has to do with a friend, that for privacy reasons I will call Jeanette. So Jeanette is having some problems, we'll leave it at that; and no one can find her. The cops finally got her to answer her phone. She is at least as far as we know, okay. She's not in any trouble, but she left a note with a dentist that alarmed everyone.

I walk Amanda part of the way back to her building to ask if there is anything I can do to help; en route, the conversation unfolds like this:

Amanda referring to my beloved mobile phone says "You know you're addicted?" I respond, "To what, my phone?" Then...CONK...right in my head with her fist as she shouts "Juneau!"

I mean seriously, who punches people in the head while shouting "Juneau!"? The answer to that is Amanda! You see, she has these made up games in her head that she doesn't tell anyone that she's playing; so out of nowhere you might get smacked or punched in the head while she shouts words out! She gave me the rules, here they are:

CAPITOLS GAME If you see a license plate for a state to which you know the capitol, you can shout it out and punch the other person in the arm; however, if the state is Alaska, you get to punch the other person in the head; if the state is Hawaii, you get to punch them in the face! The exceptions are the state you are in, or any state that touches the state you are in; for instance, if you are in Missouri, you can't shout out Springfield when you see an Illinois license plate!

Yea, so I'm not going to dwell there, if you don't get it, just be forewarned that I might punch you in the head one day for what appears to be no reason at all. If I would have known this game back in the day, while in Ireland of all places, I would have punched Eva in the face while shouting "Honolulu"!

Anyway, it gets more bizarre, we get to a corner where I go back my way and she continues on her way. Right in the middle of conversation she points behind me and says, "It's a giant rabbit". I look, there is nothing there. She says, "No it's there and giant". I still don't see it! "The plastic thing across the next street!" Oh, wait I see it! What the hell man!?! I'm far too confused to get more confused! She made me laugh anyway, so not all bad I suppose.

What Songs Could You Not Live Without Hearing?

Well I successfully pulled off the longest work weekend of my life time. Okay, so maybe there was a worse one from college. I think what made this one so much more difficult is the combination of just being depressed and being sick. I need sleep bad, I am so tired and exhausted and lacking adequate oxygen I think! Throwing up sounds appealing at the moment!

It felt good yesterday to get a proverbial pat on the back from Andrew. It was nice to feel as though I helped and was wanted around. The feeling only lasted a little bit, but was nice when it was there.

So other things that happened this weekend: I have planned to meet Shane for tea in Dublin; got my tix for the London show of a lifetime; got the call that Amanda's grandma passed away (I had known it was coming since Dad passed away, their health seemed tied together); got a new dosage and variety of meds (which are so-so); made Andrew laugh during a hectic weekend (which was nice to see); Rachel K.'s shower got postponed (she and not-yet-born baby are doing well in the hospital); found out some one broke into our camper while in storage and stole my camping chairs (fuckers)!

So I guess I want to take a minute to say that I don't mean to scare people with my blogs. It's just how and where I vent. I can't say that I don't have myself scared, because frankly I am. I haven't felt this down and out in ages. I have my bouts, like the exam failing for example. But I rebound. I don't feel like I'm rebounding this time. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted, and ready to quit (yes quit everything). Thanks for caring though, and to offer to listen. It means a lot, but not as much as I think it should right now. The only thing I can really say about that right now is is "Don't Panic". I guess I at least found humor in the fact that Crystal thinks I hide depression well. I think if she knew me better she would see right through me! I also find humor in the fact that as depressed as I might be, I am still making terrible jokes, puns, and literary notes!

I would normally wrap the blog up about now and get to work. Screw that, I've been here working a lot lately, and I deserve a few minutes of blog time (or hours). So I can't think of anything to write, so I will wander back to my list of topics and write about one of those; that topic will be guitars! I do love music, so what better a way to try and cheer myself up than with a little bit of music talk! I can't get enough music ever! So here we go . . .

If you put your headphones on, and flip through your music player to Redemption Song by Bob Marley you hear the beginning of the song start with the soothing sound of stings being plucked over a hollow body called the acoustic guitar. The way this works is that the strings have individual resonant frequencies that produce a specific tone based on the vibration over this hollow body. I won't dwell on this portion of my topic. While I am intrigued by all objects' resonant frequencies, I am sure you are not! If you listen closely enough, you can almost hear the sound of grooved fingerprinted surfaces sliding along the strings to the locations needed to produce the sound required. It is the simplest of notes it seems. Daaa da da daa da da dada; daa da dada dadada daaa. I could replay the beginning of that song over and over and over again! It's a great song with my favorite lyrics being "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds".

Another song that I love to hear the guitar played to is I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie. It's another song where you hear the subtle shrieks of hand movement along the guitar neck. Another detail that makes this song so beautiful to me is the breathing you hear in the beginning guitar solo. Never paid attention to it? Well put the headphones back on, scroll through to the song, and hit play! Listen intently to the music, you'll hear the subtle sounds of hand movement and breathing. Lyrically, it's a beautiful song too. I think everyone wants to know that some one would feel that way about them; "If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark". If you feel that way about some one, please tell them! They may not know, and it may be the thing that keeps them from going insane!

Next on my list is Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley. I've mentioned this in a blog before. The breath, almost a sigh perhaps at the beginning of the song. Then a guitar solo that really goes from just an intro to a climax that ultimately leads into the song with some lyrics such as "your faith was strong but you needed proof", and "love is not a victory march; it's a cold and it's broken hallelujah". Brilliant!

We move along to something different, to say The Ol' Beggars Bush by Flogging Molly where the guitar is the blank canvas so to speak. It's melodic, but not overpowering so that the other instruments and singing are what promenade out of the headphones into your ears.

Then there are songs like Old Friend by Rancid where the guitar provides the base, but without that sound, the song would not be the same. It's the quick poppy sounds that really help make it identifiable and unique. Of course the lyrics are brilliant to me as well. "Good morning heartache; you're like an old friend; come and see me again". Ain't that the damned truth!

There are songs like Rock This Town by Stray Cats. It's fast and upbeat, but it's the base guitar that really sets the mood with the drums dancing right along side. The guitar jumps in with his quick movements that really make you think the guitarists fingers are going to get stuck and tangled in the guitar's strings!

Then there are the songs where the guitar is fast and furious and played with a heavy fist of fury, great for those moods where hitting something seems appropriate. Gosh, I have so many songs here I can't give you one example!! Imagine that, I would have music for the "hitting something" mood!

And just for Mike H. (who played Redemption Song for me on his acoustic guitar once); the Ramones! Ha, go on your tangent! I still love them, always will; so to your argument I say "whatever"!

So, I could really talk hours on this subject, there are a lot of songs I love. I want to know what songs are yours! What songs could you not live without hearing? Is it the guitar or drums or voices that get your thoughts into another state of mind? What kick have you been on lately?


Words of the weekend and today:
peasantvision: Television channels you get without a cable or satellite TV subscription.

nillionaire: Person without any money of their own.

Justin is Number 2

So if you have ever read any of my previous blogs, you will notice that I have mentioned Justin's HOK Blog. Justin Z. is an excellent writer with a sense of humor that I find uber-spectacular! Well I got into work this morning, and I read my blogs; if you recall I rarely read news these days and go straight to the blogs. Anyway, I was catching up and saw that Justin mentioned me in one of his blogs! It's a bit of an equivalent of Douglas Adams making me a character in one of his books! Okay, so maybe the latter would be so much more awesome, but Justin is number 2, and frankly compared to Douglas being number 2 is pretty damn good! When you read his blog, be sure to note that I am NOT the blog stalker, which I could very well have been. If a blog stalker exists, I'm sure I'm some where on that list!

In other news, which I did pay attention to, the East coast, where I just was less than 24 hours ago is being hammered by a snow storm. I guess I got out just in time. Or maybe I got out too early. I haven't made up my mind on this subject yet. Since I didn't have my boots, I'm going with "just in time" for the moment.

I'm making plans for future travel, Austin in May, Indiana in June, maybe England in July, and Canada at least once this year. I have also agreed to do Denver sometime as well, and maybe some white water rafting. My fear of water may inhibit this last one, but it's so intriguing that I'm willing to bite the proverbial bullet! If I died tomorrow, I want to know I made the right choices for me, and fear should never hold a person back from doing new things. Call it ambition, call it stupidity, I think I have a little from column A and a little from column B! If you have any interest in going with me for any of these adventures, let me know! They are all tentative on having a job though.

Well, I've blogged enough for this morning, so I will now leave you with the words of today and past!

take the L: Short for "taking the loss". Frequently used to describe flunking a test, being dumped, stood up, beaten up, or robbed. Also relating to losing one's money in the stock market, gambling, or through exploitative business schemes.

off the hinges: Awesome. Unbelievably good. Wild. Cousin to "off the hook" and "off the chain".

2nd and Bowery

Well, I'm blogging on a Sunday night because I have so much to say. This past weekend I went to New York City, possibly one of the greatest cities on the face of this planet we call Earth. No driving, but walking or public transit everywhere, and I have never felt so able to blend, as I did in NY.

Amanda and I flew into JFK, caught the Airtrain into Queens to catch the subway into Manhattan, just a couple of blocks south of Central Park to stay with her sis in her tiny apartment. We walked a lot that Friday night we got there, went to a musical on Broadway, and were delirious by the time we finally got to go to sleep that night. It was early Saturday morning when we got a call that prepared us for unfortunate news later that day. We carried on however going to Battery Park, Wall Street, Brooklyn, and the lower east side, perhaps my favorite neighborhood. The lower east side is ran down, it has so much to say! I dragged Emily and Amanda on a wild search for the street Joey Ramone Place, which was at 2nd and Bowery, a corner close to what used to be CBGB's. Sadly, CBGB's is no more, nor is the sign for Joey Ramone. I believe some punk ass bitch stole it! I can't say I wouldn't have tried myself! Anyway, we also went to the Tenement Museum, you should check it out. I ate at a great pizza joint in Brooklyn, and walked the bridge back to Manhattan, which is something I could see myself doing everyday!

Anyway, one of the things that we did on Saturday was to go to Trinity Church near Wall Street. We were inside admiring the architecture, and waiting for the church to implode on us. We were told to turn our cell phones off, but I rarely do, I turned it to silent. When I got my cell phone out, to send a text, I saw the incoming call. It was Gloria calling for Amanda (knowing Amanda wouldn't have her cell, she was to call me). It was the news we had been warned about. Amanda's father passed away. I could only offer the words of encouragement I could have used and perhaps did use when my own father died to get them through this the best I could. It was the memories I had of watching my dad suffering in the end that brought tears to my eyes. It's been hard to get through this weekend, watching them sadden, trying to make them laugh, trying to forget my own sad memories. I had the overwhelming urge to go lay down on top of dad's grave site and just cry. Being in a really great city helped more than you could imagine! We stayed busy, I pulled out all of my comedic acts to entertain, and told them of my own wary mid-life crisis ordeals to take their minds off anything really important!

It was good to be done with this weekend, although I didn't want to leave. I don't want to deal with this week. I still want to disappear. But to end on a high note, New York was awesome, and I plan on returning, you should think about being there yourself!

Life Sucks at the Moment

I have a long week ahead of me, with a deadline Thursday night, I'll be putting in a lot of time this week. The good news is that will all the time I will have worked this week, I won't have to take any PTO for my trip to NY. I leave Friday, and am supposed to come back Sunday. I'd prefer to run away for good! Ugh, life sucks at the moment. I'm still waiting for the damn Apocalypse!

Drew, I got a pic of me and a cop at MG just for you! Baby bro!

By the way, Chris is looking for a job if anyone has any ideas!

Word of the day:
Milkshake: A woman's body and the way she carries it.

Lunch with Three Puerto Ricans . . . and Ray

I reread some of my older blogs this morning, which is very entertaining to do. A person can learn a lot about themselves when he or she reads what they have written. I learned two things. The first: I can tell a person anything; any truth, any desire, any fear; but only in writing. I have the opportunity weekly to say what ever I need to Amanda. I have every opportunity in the world to call Eva and say anything. I could look over to my left and tell Crystal what ever I needed. I could talk to Badger at any given moment. I could even talk to the dogs (although Bella likes to sometimes talk back)! I guess I have been disregarded enough, or stopped dead in my tracks, or hurt myself too much by letting some truth out. The more people know, the more they can and will hurt you. But that's not it though, even if I wanted to say something, I open my mouth to speak and the words stay inside, hidden like a small child trying to hide from an angry parent. Instead I just keep it all to myself and randomly let little bits of truth out in my writing. Thinking back, I have always written letters or kept a journal, something of the sort, in writing, that I sometimes mail, or sometimes let others read (like this blog).

The second thing: I have a very hard time being serious about my situations. I make jokes to ease situations, etc. Maybe all these things make me who I am, and I like that. I want to keep my stuff to me, I want to make jokes. I don't want people responding to this saying that I can tell them anything, I already know I can, I won't though. Thanks for wanting to listen.

Anyway, so as I was reading I was thinking of a lot of stories I should tell you, like Bella and the glycerin; helping Eva move and her cat attacking me; the time Dusty saved Drew's life in the swimming pool; the time Uncle Chris jumped over the fence; picnics on the porch; my pet lizards now buried in the flower pots; many camping trips; blackmail photos that I hope I own but can't remember; the Flogging Molly show where Dave King noticed me out of a crowd; smashing my finger; spraining my ankle; riding my bike into a parked car; punching Nolan at a show; John Linnell doing a double take for me and Eva; skankin' with the Specials; vacations in Texas.

Ah, well, if you have a story you want me to tell, I will, otherwise I'll save those for when I have no topics, along with other topics mentioned and not yet divulged!

I do need to be focusing on work and my experimental REVIT drafting project. The stress of work is starting to weigh in on my chest making breathing a difficult task.

Word of the day:
bajangled: To be, or have been intoxicated. Originally comes from "Mr. Bojangles".
In use: Last night I was so bajangled, I passed out in the middle of the street.

Vegas is fun. I miss the dogs. The air is dry. Badger was up $800, then lost it all playing slots. I'm just down, cause I shop.