The Gospel According to Biff

It's Monday. I can't say if I'm glad or sad about this. On one hand, it gets me back to my routine, on the other hand it gets me back to my routine! In either case, my hands are full of routine!

Anyway hi-lights from the weekend and road trip to Kansas City:

Boca di Boppi (actually Buca di Beppo, but Eva and I took it to extremes and had a whole conversation that no one else understood! In fact, I am sure we didn't understand either!)

Matt and Erika Herring have an adorable child (looks like a baby). It, I mean she, cries a lot. I have a soothing effect on the child for some reason. Eva has a similar effect. I believe this is for two reasons. The child loved our plump bosoms, and we sang Rancid to her. Who wouldn't love to be serenaded by Rancid?!?! Her name is Molly and she's a cool little thing. For the record, they are good parents.

There were weird rabbits located around the Plaza in KC. Don't ask me where the Plaza is, all I know is that it was south of our hotel. Anyway, weird rabbits all over. Giant human sized weird rabbits.

Eva and I bought boots. Larry's boots. Pretty sweet if you ask me!

Free hugs were being given out at the Plaza. Free hugs guy restored my faith in humanity, but as usual, that quickly flew right out the door. What happened? Oh nothing really, just a accumulation of annoyances. I have a very very tiny list of people that are allowed on my planet (free hugs guy is one of them). Sorry, but there isn't enough room on my awesome planet for people that make me mad or annoyed. (Holly & Drew, you are both good, you are family that I like, you get to stay so don't get paranoid).

I think I drank sour milk, still alive though.

My newest Madness album showed up in the mail!

The English Beat were awesome. Eva and I almost didn't even go. The local KC crap radio station was holding a Prom Theme for the show. Eva and I showed up in our cowboy boots, jeans, and regular tops. Everyone else (except for maybe 3 other people) were in prom gear. Tuxedos, dresses, gowns, etc. We did however go in and skanked our happy little hearts to soreness! An adorable boy standing next to us (in a stylish and dapper hat (drool)) skanked with us. The girl he was with was not too happy about this. Oh well, we had a great time!! Great, and I mean great show!

My blog crush Justin Z. made the Toronto Star (local paper). You should read the article and blog!

I, as usual, bought a new book to read even though I am reading two books (and a third for work) as I write! Looks good though. A book by Christopher Moore called A Dirty Job. Very few people could vie for favorite author in comparison to Douglas Adams, but Moore is one of them! He wrote a book called Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal that I really enjoyed. I'm excited to read Moore (yes, pun intended)!

Well, this is where I need to stop and move forward with my routine! So now, the words, you know what I'm talking about:

Friday - bardcore: A pornographic movie with a Shakespearean plot.
Weekend - C and E: People who show up at church only on Christmas and Easter.
Today - girlfriend button: The button on the controller of an Xbox, Playstation, or Wii you have to press to pause the game when your girlfriend wants to talk.

SKANKIN' RUDE GIRLS

Short blog...saw English Beat tonight and it was fucking awesome in words I can't even find to describe! Some girl was pissed because her adorable (hatted) boy was skankin' with me and Eva. Oh well ... she shoulda skanked! We are beat...

A True Love Affair

I just got back from my midday walk. It was cold outside, but felt good. I like the way the cold encompasses one's face and numbs the extremities. My eyes even watered a little.

I walked to my bench. It's a nice seat located in the grassy area between the Old Courthouse and Interstate. My bench is the Northeastern one! I like that it faces the Old Courthouse. I could have chosen the bench across from it and faced the Arch; but I just love the way the Old Courthouse proudly sits on its well groomed piece of land with something of a modern city sprouted up around it.

I particularly like to go to this location because no one is there. Sometimes its nice to people watch, for which I have alternate locations. For getting away from reality, this bench is the only bench that will do! In fact yesterday, I was forced by grounds crews to go somewhere else. I walked to the Arch and sat, rather laid back and rested my head on some steps behind me. Fortunately the weather is cold enough that there were no tourists! I have to admit that watching the river was a bit calming.

So back to my original story: I sat at my bench today with wind lightly whisping my hair around. I just sat there quietly singing along to my music, which was a mixture due to the fact my Zune was on shuffle where I skipped anything classical because I wanted to sing along. I had a brief fleeting thought that I should write down a note on things that make me happy. I can think of at least three: coldness on face, light winds that whisp my hair just right so I can smell it and feel it brush against my face, and quietly singing aloud to music. Considering my lack of finding much enjoyment with anything lately, it was nice to have that 'happy' thought; fleeting as it may have been.

But seriously back to my original story: As I got up to walk back to my office building, my Zune stopped working. It just stopped. This of course made me freeze in place, reach into my pocket, and gently caress and hold my Zune. I turned her little power button on, and she started up but had forgotten what she was doing. It's okay though, I far too often lose my train of thought! I think she may have been cold, so I held her the rest of the way back to my desk.

The whole ordeal made me laugh to myself, and perhaps even out loud! Point is: I always have music playing. It's either piped to my ears through headphones, or played on speakers, or in the car. The few times I don't listen to music would be when I sleep or watch TV/YouTube/etc. BUT, sometimes I still have my headphones on when I fall asleep, so there's something to be said about that! I know there are times when I don't listen to music, but they are far and few between! I do not know how people get through the days without music. If I don't have music, I sing! It may not be good, in fact it may be terrible, but it's music I like none the less! Very often, I dance too! I have silly sort of dances that I do like a hybrid skank-twist, or my shuffle-skanking! I also waltz, but I do the real thing with my imaginary partner, I didn't make that one up!! I'd make someone really waltz with me, but none of the boys I hang around with know how to waltz! Besides, they are all way too concerned about what people think that they'd be too embarrassed to dance with me!

Back to the original story: I have to say that on this walk back, I did not do any dancing, but a lot of little head tilts. I walked the long way back just to maximize my away time. I got back, and here I am, blogging. I'm extremely sleepy and I need to clean my desk up while waiting for "things" to happen. I also need to make a shopping list of pie ingredients!

You might be wondering where the story went. It started as a story and then just stopped being anything of consequence. I guess I never had a story. I just wanted to say I love music. And as I leave you now, I'm skanking in my desk chair to the Specials (a true love affair)!

Worst Day Since Yesterday

So, have you ever thought to yourself that the whole world is caving in, and the best place to be is right smack dab in the middle of it, just to get life over with? I really hate for people to know I am depressed, but this is just one of those times that I cannot successfully hide it. I can't pretend. So I figure that if you are reading this, you either know me, and already know I'm waiting for the Apocalypse to finally come through; or you have no idea who I am and I can at least provide you with some good reading. Writing by the way, in my very sarcastic undertones can usually cheer me up some, I wonder if this is how Emily Dickenson felt!?!?

It's been a rough week, for me and others. I've got my own silly troubles to panic over. I bully my husband into doing whatever I unfairly want. I have a friend who passes out and has seizures on a regular basis that freaks me out every time, and I can do nothing to help, and he doesn't answer his phone. I have a friend in the hospital with rare pregnancy complications. Work is overwhelming. Chris has to find a new job when jobs just aren't available. I have a small handful of people that I talk to when I'm this stressed and depressed, but everyone is suffering about something so it's hard to vent when everyone else needs to borrow a shoulder to cry on. It seems like every day, something else gets added to this stack of things that I can barely deal with. I don't know how any of us are dealing with any of this stuff!

So my day started wryly at work when I was told there were problems with the project whose deadline is Thursday. There just isn't anything to ease this tension. The morning has just gotten worse when I received an e-mail that my friend's dad has 2-3 weeks left. It's hard news to take. I've listened to my friend talk about the ups and downs of his battle for some time now, and she's a very strong person, and will force herself to be strong for her siblings. Despite my very depressed mood, I will force myself to be strong for her, it's the very least I can do. I will cry though, like a baby (since I already am, I know it will be worse as time moves ahead).

So since she let me vent for a very long time yesterday at lunch, I will write about something that she mentioned she was waiting for me to write. My preparedness for the Apocalypse.

If there is any number one life lesson I have ever learned, it is that one should always carry a towel! Douglas Adams fans will understand this. Otherwise you should probably learn! I prefer to use mine to wipe my face after crying, which as you may know, I do often! The second thing I do to feel prepared for the Apocalypse is carry around a canned good as well as a granola bar. The granola bar is more ideal than canned goods because I'm not sure how to open a can with no can opener. I do carry a knife, which is vital, and number three on my preparedness list; however, I'm not too sure I can open a can with just a knife. Some very clever people would know, but I'm not one of those guys. Number four is merely a recommendation to carry around your passport at all times. You never know when you'll have to jump ship to a new country, so be ready. That applies to the Apocalypse, and life in general! A cup, preferably with a lid is number five. If you need to catch rain water, you will be so happy to have said cup. Number six is important to me, and would probably be number one if the others didn't seem so important, and this would be the few photographs I keep at my desk that have been dragged from school to my first job, and from there to my current employer. Sometimes those are what get me through, carrying them has gotten tedious, so for now, they are stowed at my desk so I can stare at them when needed. I won't elaborate on the exact nature of the photos, maybe one day you'll get to see if you are in there! Number seven is music, I don't know about you, but I imagine the Apocalypse being very loud and noisy. Now, it's possible that you would want your best ears on for hearing all of this ruckus, but I prefer to just block everything out with great music. Be sure to have a mixture so if you are sappy, you have music for that, and if you are feisty you have music for that! I plan on going out skankin'! Number eight, make sure to have a cell phone. Landlines are very very important for the Cell Phone Revolution! I can elaborate on that in another blog. But for the Apocalypse, have your cell phone, at least you can go out having a casual conversation with some one else who was smart enough to have prepared! Number nine, a camera. Yes, a camera! Yes Amanda, A CAMERA!!! Number ten is a notebook and pen to journal your adventures. Should anyone survive the Apocalypse, they'll want to know all the gritty details. Should no one survive the Apocalypse, future evolved generations of 'people' are going to learn to read our writings and will want to know all the gritty details. I'm sure you have questions like "what will you do with no power to charge your cell phone, camera, or music player?", and "will one can of soup do?", or even "won't you burn faster with so many combustibles?", don't fret, I am prepared to answer all of these questions, so please comment as you see fit and I will handle these as necessary!

Now, a very fitting and morose word of the day:

plead the Second: To whip out a gun, similar to pleading the 5th (remaining silent), except this refers to the Second Amendment of the US Constitution (right to bear arms).

I only choose to use the calendar's example because it is so damn funny to me! In use: When my PO was sweatin' me about why my whiz test turned up positive for coke, heroin, and seven varieties of elephant tranquilizers, I had no choice but to plead the second and put his narc ass in his place.