There's A Devil in That Car!

I had the strangest nightmare last night, though I guess strange would apply to most nightmares.  I cannot recall how it started but I know there was a famous man (an actor or musician) who was once a truck driver before fame.  He was hiding/running from someone, and the only way to quietly travel across the country was in a semi truck.  There he is driving along a rural town when he has an "accident".  The truck rolls to one side and metal rips from the sides exposing him as the truck skids and rolls.  He somehow manages to survive, unlatches himself, climbs out of his truck, bloody and hurt.  He crawls to a home near the road, sitting on the lawn when a noise in the distance gets people's attention.  Suddenly, at a cross street about 100 feet away, a woman is shouting and pointing, "there's a devil in that car, there's a devil in that car", and then, the colorful car screeches around the corner, flattening the woman to road kill and swerves around the corner.  Now I, a standerby this whole time, can see the devil.  A person maybe, in a hideous mask, so scary I can still see it while awake.  Lumpy exagerated features, pointy nose, almost beaklike, with pointy teeth in thin lips smiling out at us.  The yellow eyes I see instantly do not see me, so I grab the man and pull him to the side of the house just moments before the devil drives straight into the already messy wreck in the road, perhaps to finish the famous man off not knowing I have him.  I help the man up and push him along, find an unlocked door to the home and go inside.  It's a small white single story home with green carpet and dingy walls.  No one appears to be inside, so we hide in a pantry.  Hiding is to no avail, the devil that I can now see is a monster in human form finds us, shoots the man in the head point blank between the eyes.  He then turns to me, tilts his head and smirks, and then I'm awake, startled and sweating.

Nightmares

The night before last I had a nightmare about being trapped on a flooding island.  That may very well have spurred from a book I'm reading, or show I've watched.  But why the dramatics?

Last night I had a nightmare that I can't even really remember, but I woke up twice, once with sweat pouring off my face and down my neck and the next time I just recall sitting up in bed to shake myself awake long enough to lay back down and stare at the clock for about 10 minutes.  What was I dreaming?!?

It's funny to me, that now that I am getting some sleep on a regular basis, that I can not really get sleep.  It's as if my body has decided to retaliate to the goodness sleep brings.  As if my body says, "I'm too good for all that none sense, I don't need it like the rest of the weaklings".  I want to say, "no-no, you DO NEED it, see those dark circles under my eyes, the headaches, that's what happens". 

In any case, I'm exhausted.  The exhaustion brings on a whole slew of other symptoms.  While I've always had haunting dreams, anxiety dreams, odd recurring dreams, I've managed to go on in life adapting to the little sleep I get from them or simply the unconscious understanding that they are dreams and can hurt nothing other than my fragile mentality which can be overcome in the right circumstances.  But nightmares where I feel trapped or endangered and only wake up at just the right moment...those are just painful sometimes and then I can not go back to sleep.

Do you often have nightmares, anxiety dreams, haunting dreams, recurring dreams?  What are they of?  Does talking about them help anyone?  Does anyone have a theory on what they may mean?

When I wasn't watching, everyone's lives changed. It's not like I haven't noticed things different here or there. I just haven't taken time to look at the whole book shelf so to speak, to notice that not only have books been relocated, but some have been removed all together. Some books have been left without binding or have been ripped and torn. Some books appear to have been taped and renewed.

I don't want to talk about any one specific allegorical book per say, but I will elaborate enough to explain those I've noticed as of just this week. Maybe you can pick out which book you are! One book has simply disappeared. Another book has split in half. One book has been separated but rebound to that which makes two very nice looking books instead. At least a couple of books now have sequels. Another book isn't quite close to completion, but hey, who can rush a masterpiece? And one very exciting book ended up in TWO jails!

All of this talk of books makes me think of three things I want to say to close this up.

Currently reading the Anita Blake series and it's quite enjoyable. They might give me nightmares, but really, what doesn't?

I'm really proud of That One for doing his whole reading thing...takes a real dog to do what he does! BOL! [yes, BOL, bark out loud]

I'm going to write a book one day titled The Bastard Phlebotomist. The guy is going to think he is a poet, but in reality, he'll stick patients poorly while trying to draw blood and wiggle the needle all around until the patient is bruised and sore! The only things he'll say are "confirm you address and birth date", "son of a ...", god....[then sounds like warble warble warble]", and "okay, go now". Sounds like a great read, huh!?

Last, but not least, I want to give a shout out to Stubbs, whose birthday passed uneventfully on April 2nd. Good day Stubbs, good day!

Alice Cake and Twitter Tea?

I've mentioned this once before via Twitter, but just saw something that made me think about it again...

When I see someone walking with scissors or a knife having the point facing anywhere but down, I begin to think, "didn't your mother ever teach you to carry sharp objects with the point facing down? You've got to be careful or you'll fall on it and die"!

Then it occurs to me that maybe the said individual doesn't have a mother! What if, his mother was carrying a knife (point up) and fell? What if she fell on her knife and stabbed herself to death?

Oh the horror!

That thought usually manages to trigger some horrible dream I had, and as always, that's what happened this time, though, a bit different, it had to do with me having to carve electronic chips out of dead bodies. I don't know why I did this, I don't know who I had to do this to, and I can't recall when I dreamt this. I just thought moments ago, "hey, I had a dream about carving out chips of bodies". The bodies were more of a cake though, like Alice in Tom Petty's "Don't Come Around Here No More" video.

Of course this gets me thinking about the new Alice in Wonderland coming out. I'm totally creeped out by the story in general, and all fabrications of it beyond the book simply intensify that which I find creepy. Irregardless of my "creep out" factor, I will be watching it! I really can't wait. Less than one month to go!

Now, to wrap it all back up, Alice made me think of tea parties, which reminds me, I've not had Twitter Tea in some time!

Nightmares...Again

I’ve been having nightmares again. They seemed to lessen for a period of time for a couple months at most, but a couple of months is far greater than you can imagine when it comes to impeding my sleep. They are back and I don't know why. Stress? Lowered immune system? Actual fear? I just can't figure it out. Here are some of the details, perhaps you have some insight.

Often times my nightmare consists of me looking for something. After awaking, I rarely remember what it was that I looked for...I just know that in my dream I am looking for something. In this process I walk into rooms and become startled. Take a moment to follow this thought with me...you walk into a room that you think is empty and suddenly realize someone is in the room; or similarly let's say you have a large doll/mannequin/masks/human-sized-cardboard-cutout...sometimes you might catch this out of the corner of your eye and it startles you because you think someone is there for the briefest of moments. Whatever the case may be, it is momentarily frightening, causing your heart to feel as though it's pounding in your throat along with the confusion that comes along that causes you to glance back every now and again to be sure! In my dreams, while searching, I will catch something out of the corner of my eye. My heart races and I am consumed with fear but when I glance over to see who or what is there, it usually turns out to be a mask. There are several masks I see over and over again, though my mind has seen many in dream form. I can only show you one of the masks by photo but the others may be mere figments of my imagination as I can’t recall where I would have seen them in the real world (one appearing to be a human face simply peeled away from the body and limply laying right side out; the other is a very fine porcelain mask with feminine features but painted in a sparkly blue paint. Think pretty Blue Man Group with cats eyes. It ties in the back with light pink satin ribbon).

Last night’s dreams were much different than my typical. There were two distinct dreams I awoke from startled. The first that I can’t quite recall much about had to do with my teeth. My teeth had been wired shut and the moment I took the wiring off, my teeth cracked and fell out. While very little was left in my gums, what remained were shards of bony tooth that cut the inside of my mouth.

The second of dreams I had was about water, one of my biggest fears. I was in charge of getting a ’63 split back Corvette (black and white with smooth dark grey interior…so nice I could have licked it if it were real) overseas. As part of the transport, I was to follow the shipping container that contained the most beautiful car known to man. As it goes, I was on a ship outside of the cabin. The sea was rough and I didn’t have a life preserver. I was holding onto a post for dear life as the ship rocked to and fro with water splashing all around. The water was a dark green that couldn’t be seen into, and the last memory of that dream I have is being startled awake as the ship tipped over to its side. When I awoke my hands were cold and clinched so tightly into fists that my fingernails had dug into the flesh of my palms.

[As a side note, I want to send many thanks to Drew for making a donation to my 5k! Awesome support! Thanks so much baby bro, you rock, and I still have your birthday present in my backpack!] [Also, if you are wondering, donations can still be made]

NaBloPoMo Day Twelve Post Ten - Forgot Dream

Every evening that I jog [or lay awake suffering from insomnia] I think of all the things I plan to write. I even write these things out in my head in such a way that if I could use my mind to make the physical action of writing happen, I'd have novels all over flowing the shelves. [Okay, so yes, the books are already over flowing the shelves, but they aren't books *I've* written]. But then I arrive to the computer the following morning and my mind is blank. I can no longer recall all of my brilliant ideas. It's as if the book I'd written never existed, but I swear to you I have some brilliant ideas, I just forget them.

Even this morning I thought of something I wanted to write, but, well, as you can guess...I forgot what it was. It's okay though, I'll try to take better care of my ideas by jotting a note or two down about them. As for now, you'll get part of my dream from last night [surprise surprise, you only get that part which I can remember, I've already forgotten the rest!]

...I looked in a mirror to see that my skin was washed out, very pale but freckle free. I leaned in closer to see my skin. It was dry and cracked with fine lines in places I'd never seen them before. Disappointed I looked over my entire face finding age. I stopped once to glance into my own eyes that were as they truly are; a hazel colored iris that has amber and green in streaks around the pupil. I felt slightly reassured that I was still myself, but disappointed that I was the person looking back in the mirror. I was actually a bit horrified that it was me. But what I saw next was even more frightening. I saw that I'd lost most of my hair, the bald area covered in scabs. I poked at them to discover they were bruised, tears streamed down my eyes while I tried to gather my memory to recall when this had happened. Nothing came. Then I woke up panicked.

Word...
Facebook crush: A crush on a FB friend is characterized by the unexplainable urge to revisit the friend's Photos tab repeatedly and checking to see if other friends have written new messages on their Wall. Usually afflicts users who are only somewhat acquainted. [heh]

Your Mask Gave Me A Nightmare!

Today's foot wear of choice...

Yippee Kay Ya

So last night I had a dream that involved three things. Riley in an aquarium, me shooting a Tommy gun, and masks. I don't know if these were separate dreams or one congealed blob of blur that had me waking in a sweaty panic, but this is how it goes...

I'm at some type of public aquarium, were turtles and schools of fish are on display. There is a pool with a hip height railing around it so that viewers may stand and look down into the clear open water. The far wall was a giant glass tank with much larger creatures, one of which was a squid. For some reason I had Riley with me. While I was preoccupied with trying to keep a turtle from eating my bare toes [why was I without shoes?], Riley jumped into the water, started swimming around and ducking his head into the water trying to eat the schools of fish! Once I was able to get him out of the water, we went to dry off and that is when I learned we both had the flu. Yep, that's right, me and Riley had the flu!

While Riley and I are "quarantined" in an old abandoned office space [that just happened to have old drafting tables set up in a classroom type setting], I found an old Tommy gun inside a desk. Having always wanted to fire one to hear the onomatopoeic "tat-tat-tat", I recovered it from its hiding spot, loaded her up, and took aim at a wall opposite me. I shot right through the wall and freed myself and Riley from our "prison". The movements in this segment were exaggerated and larger than life, much like films portraying the Prohibition era [imagine Bonnie and Clyde hanging out an old Ford V-8 firing away behind them in an erratic chase]!

At this point it gets sketchy. I don't know if I was in the Australian outback where I presume my subconscious led me or if I was just in an arid and dusty plains somewhere in the middle of the US. In any case I was now alone. In fact it seemed to me as if having Riley with me was a dream [a dream within a dream?].

I skulked along peering around boulders and patches of tall grasses having the feeling of being chased by something. I knew I had to get out of this location but I didn't know where to go. After what seemed like countless hours I peered around a boulder to see a man wearing a mask. It was in fact THIS MASK [thanks to @FrankieP, it is in fact him in that creepy mask]. The entire time this was happening, I felt as if I carried knowledge of something very secretive. The masked person was after me. I only got as close as 50 feet before I startled myself upright in bed with a sheeny dew of perspiration to sheathe my face and neck.

I've told you before, and I will tell you again, I have mask and painted-face-aphobia! Does it to me every time!

I have reasons why I think I dreamed all of this, and perhaps later I can elaborate, but for now, work beckons [in its bastardy whiny voice]!

Word...
pancake:

1. To end a relationship suddenly.
2. To get dumped by someone and remain clueless to the reason.

Wake Up Please

Last night I had a nightmare. It started out in my mom's house, except Chris and I were there but no one else. We had invited some talk show host over to the house as a surprise for Amanda because we knew she would want to meet him. We told Amanda and she was taken aback by the surprise, much as I expected her to do. Moments later she and I were sitting on the floor of my old bedroom; it was still tiny, same layout. We were talking when I noticed a small (1/2") spider. It was brown, fuzzy, and creeped me the fuck out! It was at this point that I saw the rest of the spiders, much larger, all over, and now crawling on me. They were all brown with black spots and fuzzy with beady black eyes that looked like an abyss. Amanda at this point left me and shut the door. I screamed for her, she did not come. I screamed for Chris and he laughed through the door. I screamed for anyone to help me and no one would. Broken hearted and crying, I tried smashing the spiders with a spare shoe but there were too many. I remember saying aloud "wake up wake up wake up please for the love of God" . . . and then, like a miracle I woke up. I shot straight up in bed! My heart was racing so fast I could feel it in my face and ears. I ungracefully flew out of bed and turned on the light, pulled back my blankets and even flipped the pillows. No spiders! I sat down and just took a minute to breath. Got up to flip the light off and shot a glance in the mirror to see the sweat that had accumulated on my face and neck. I took one more glance around, flipped the switched, and took a last stab at trying to sleep.

Word-
That's my word: Interjection used to reinforce a statement.
In Use:

Guy 1: Stay away from her, she's a skank!
Guy 2: No way, not her?!
Guy 1: That's my word!

I Even Smell Good Today

Okay, so I got a comment about my dream, and how odd it is, and that it will become my new nightmare. Here is the edited comment by Drew:

"u have some weird dreams. first dead people now bathing stuff... its gonna become your new nightmare... bathin stuff... "

It's funny that you should mention that it will be my new nightmare, because I honestly am disgusted by baths. Showers all good (trust me, I am clean, I even smell good today); baths are disgusting cesspools of bacteria waiting to invade any orifice that they can. I also think that dirty pools of water, like mop buckets, sinks for dishes, etc. are similarly gross. The thought of me putting my hand into mucky water makes me want to vomit. So really, I have no idea how I thought this dream was calming!!!