The Birds

Ever since I heard about the Decorah Eagles, I've been obsessed with watching the family of eagles hatch and then grow into some fine specimen of bird. It's unlike anything you'd ever get to see otherwise if this live webcam did not exist. Here are a few pictures of the birds and the link so you can also become addicted.

http://www.ustream.tv/decoraheagles











Also, there was an owl in the office today, so I had my picture taken with it. It's been really cool to hear the owls hooting and calling to one another these past few weeks. Glad to see one close!

My Personality (Neurotic)

I read an HOK Work+Place blog today about how one's personality could affect the workspace. In that, Vivian included a link to a test for the "Big Five Model". I took it, and here are my results:

[To see my complete results, go here! My comments on the results are below, bracketed in italics.]

Scoring is out of 99.

EXTRAVERSION...............29
..Friendliness.............21
..Gregariousness...........25
..Assertiveness............57
..Activity Level...........82
..Excitement-Seeking.......22
..Cheerfulness.............12

Your score on Extraversion is low, indicating you are introverted, reserved, and quiet. You enjoy solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends. [Yes, I do often like to be alone, I also avoid large crowds, and while I may appear to be loud and outgoing, I have to force myself to be that person.]

AGREEABLENESS..............34
..Trust....................29
..Morality.................20
..Altruism.................79
..Cooperation..............24
..Modesty..................60
..Sympathy.................43

Your level of Agreeableness is average, indicating some concern with others' Needs, but, generally, unwillingness to sacrifice yourself for others. [I'm disappointed that the results say I am unwilling to sacrifice myself, I think I sacrifice myself quite a bit when I can...however, the lack of trust and my real need for altruism I feel have shown up numerically. Morality of 20 pts...hmm, my morals are interesting I suppose]

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS..........63
..Self-Efficacy............64
..Orderliness..............60
..Dutifulness..............31
..Achievement-Striving.....48
..Self-Discipline..........65
..Cautiousness.............75

Your score on Conscientiousness is average. This means you are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled. [Organized...been called that since childhood.]

NEUROTICISM................92
..Anxiety..................91
..Anger....................76
..Depression...............98
..Self-Consciousness.......66
..Immoderation.............52
..Vulnerability............93

Your score on Neuroticism is high, indicating that you are easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be sensitive and emotional. [I am SO neurotic, I don't know how I didn't get those last 7 points!]

OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE.....29
..Imagination..............53
..Artistic Interests.......19
..Emotionality.............81
..Adventurousness..........2
..Intellect................37
..Liberalism...............49

Your score on Openness to Experience is low, indicating you like to think in plain and simple terms. Others describe you as down-to-earth, practical, and conservative. [I really hate change. I'm also very down to earth, gravity can be our friend.]

[Side note...wrote over at BabyBlog]

A Pros and Cons List

I may not be the smartest girl, I may not always make the right choices, but I do have some principles I try to live by; for example, these days I try to avoid negatively impacting anyone's life. Now there will certainly be times that this cannot be helped. If you hit me, I will hit back; SHWAP, negative impact. If you insult me, I will sharpen my pencil and jab you back; SHWAP, negative impact. If you make me design a nasty and huge cantilever, I will get cranky; SCHWAP, negative impact.

So, now, when it comes to having children, I have to make a pros and cons list. You might think that you know me, and as such, you would believe that I'd be decent with kids. You might suspect that I would encourage them to do well in anything they desire, I could be an inspiration, I could harbor intelligent beings...I will not deny those possibilities. But, if we are going to consider possibilities, there are some others that must be thought of, as I would not want to have a bad impact on children especially. Here is part of my list...

One Hand	The Other
a.k.a. the pros	a.k.a. the cons
Having seen the humans that have reproduced, I feel compelled to provide at least one decent human being for the future. This is not arrogance, it is the reality of things	Having seen the quantity of human beings on this planet, we need no more, I have strict moral/ethic beliefs in any couple having 2 kids, one to replace each adult...seems no one follows my logic
	I think my patience would run low very quickly
	I can suffer from severe depression, I worry one day it will go too far, my children would be motherless; what if it were one of my children that found me??; what if my children thought I didn't love them; what if they thought I was weak??
I think I would be good with kids	If my depression is hereditary, I do not want to pass it along. I never, and mean fucking never want someone to suffer from this. It hurts in ways I can't explain.
Apple picking would be more fun that it already is!	Postpartum Depression...could kill myself, the child, or both.
	Screaming kids make me want to smack them, and people can't just go around smacking their kids these days!

Seems I'm stuck. People think I am a terrible person. I don't like to judge anyone else, but it seems they like to judge me. They think I'm immoral and unjust. They think my logic is flawed. They think I'm a monster. It's sad that when I speak out on my truths, I'm judged for them, thus pushing me back into my corner to hide. It makes me realize that I can't speak out. It makes my heart break, more than it's already bruised and tattered. But I guess on the good side, there is at least one person in this world that takes the consideration of children serious! Also on the good side, the dogs don't need to stress about being replaced too soon!!

I Really Am Twisted, Here Is Why . . .

I found these comics today. I didn't get through all of them yet. Here are a few I liked...

I relate...


Pretty much feels like all of my social interactions...


Dad...


I fucking love my shoes...


It's never enough, probably never will be...


I want to go, why won't you all let me go... (oh wait, the water)


I have nightmares about green water, and I laughed at this...


I wish this was true...


Rarely is it the thought that counts...


I laughed at this...


I have a shield around my heart for this very reason...


You have to go with your first thought...always like your first answer on a test...

Go check out some more at asofterworld.com.

Word...
geeked:

1. Stimulated or energized.
2.Mind totally blown from excessive use of an upper.

More Twisted Traits

It has been requested that I add the following to my twisted traits list . . .

Christine: I’m trying to remind myself that hunger is a good thing . . . burn that fat!

Steph: I love it! You are though, your body is all “eff you jerk, you won’t feed me, I’m goin’ internal B!”

Christine: I don’t think my body has a potty mouth . . . maybe yours does, but not mine!

Steph: Mine does! Except all bad words are shortened to F, and B, etc. And Jerkwad is often thrown around internally! My new one is F#*%stockings! Got it from a book!

Christine: You can and this to your “twisted” list.

[Ed. Note: I edited this from an e-mail message]

Twisted Clarifications and Additions

I wanted to step back to my Twisted Traits blog to add another trait, and to clarify one that apparently has people believing I am a morbid person who likes to hang out in coffins.

ADDITIONAL TWISTED TRAIT
-Your idea about food pantries having can throwing donations. -Amanda

CLARIFICATIONS FOR TWISTED TRAITS
-The can throwing thing:

This is one of those instances where knowing me helps make sense of the oddities you might read about me. I've learned to accept my idiosyncratic self as is and to try and make do with the tools I've been given. One of those idiosyncratic tools is the art of throwing heavy objects to release frustration. We all know someone who does, or wants to do this. I like to call these people the "stompers". You know who I'm talking about; your friend or family member that doesn't get his or her way and stomps wildly in a tantrum! Had they a heavy object to throw, they could very well be aiming at your head!

So, I have a brilliant [or so I think] idea! A food pantry could set up a "throwing booth" where "stompers" such as myself could come, pay a dollar, bring a can, and hurl it as hard as possible at some cushioned backdrop! It serves three very valid purposes! One is the obvious release of frustration by said "stomper". Two is the donation of canned goods. Three, the food pantry also gets a monetary donation. So, tell me how this is a bad idea?

-The coffin thing:

I do not lay down every night and pretend I'm hanging out in a coffin.

Sometimes when I lay down at night smitten with an inane bout of insomnia, I go through thousands of thoughts. And when I lay just right with my hands folded this way or that, I start to think that I must look like I'm laying in a coffin, which leads to thinking about dead bodies and what it might feel like to be in the coffin with that frilly white pillow puffed up around my decaying corpse painted and modeled just so for everyone to see, and stuck that way for eternity. When I say "I like to lay in bed and position myself in various "coffin positions" to see what would seem a best way to rest forever"; I don't mean to make it sound like I have the time of my life and that I would even do this often, because that is not the case; but in terms of major bouts of insomnia, it is just one of those odd and perhaps twisted things that I do. I also honestly believe everyone does this, or has done this at least once in his or her life (especially children after first seeing a loved one in a coffin). If not, you will now!

My Twisted Traits

As you may know, I entered a contest where the only question was, "What is your most twisted trait?". I started out asking my closest friends and family to define that trait for me. I just needed an idea other than the first one that came to my own mind. I later decided to open the question to Facebook and Twitter strangers. I find it amazing what the people that did answer had to say. Below I have compiled a list of these traits that had to vie for the trait which I chose to submit!

TWISTED TRAITS
-That you looooooovvvvvvveeeeeeee pink sheep -Crystal
-Disliking nice people -Amanda
-I’m thinking that the fact that you’re an atheist who occasionally prays is pretty twisted -Christine
-And that you’re seriously prepared for the apocalypse is slightly twisted too - Christine
-Your obsession with sheep definitely borderlines twisted -Eva
-The fact that you have a traveling sheep (no help from me on that) is twisted -Eva
-The fact that you dress [the traveling sheep] up (not that he came with a tie) makes you even more twisted -Eva
-We’ll call each other at the same time and finish sentences (sharing a brain) that’s twisted -Eva
-I'd say it would probably be the way you can criticize and make a person feel bad all in the same sentence! Kind of like Mrs. Aleman! -Drew
-You are an OS [os is what exactly?] -Mike C.


FIRST REACTIONS TO QUESTIONS
-We only get to pick one? -Christine
-It might take me a while to break out the list. -Chris
-Do we only get to pick one? -Will
-Now do you mean twisted as wierd or twisted as you know, f'ed up kinda twisted? -Drew


THINGS I THOUGHT OF ON MY OWN
-I'm twisted because my dream job is to herd sheep! [first thought]
-I like to lay in bed and position myself in various "coffin positions" to see what would seem a best way to rest forever
-When I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes placed in a concrete masonry unit
-Sometimes when I can't sleep, I like to say the 50 US states in alphabetical order, some times I like to count how many of them have double vowels, an "l", etc. just to mix it up

THE TRAIT I CLAIMED
-I'm twisted because I don't trust nice people (eventually you will be chained to their basement wall, among other theories)


Word-
a and b the c of d: Above and Beyond the Call of Duty. Very good.