I Never Match

You've heard me complain for some time about my inability to match...here is yet more proof. I just don't think is my problem...I grab a shirt I like and some favorite socks and shoes...and thus you get this...

I can't write for very long since I'm under the gun for a deadline; but since I have a few minutes to spare I thought I'd update you on a few things. [My blogs seem to be turning into these bulleted crap lists these days]

I won't be Strawberry Shortcake for Halloween, long story short, no time to craft.

Yesterday (the 25th) was like one long Kids In The Hall skit [gosh I loved that show]! There was some discussion of a building wearing a pompadour; some odd men who intrigued me and Mike C.; a fog and lights show; "Members Only" jackets; candy necklaces; pumpkin cookies; and some people that were special.

I saw the movie Where The Wild Things Are, and frankly, I think you all should see it.

All right then, I've got to vamoose, so some words...
fornever:

1. never occuring, nor having the potential to do so.
2. A nonexistent period of time

chimplify: simplification to the extreme; making somethihng so simple a monkey could understand it. Usually made in reference to a clueless employer.
emoment: A point in time when an individual engages in whining, complaining, or otherwise self-pitying behavior around others, usually in search of pity. Combination of "emo" and "moment".
doorknob: An easy girl who sleeps around; so called because everyone gets a turn.

Bland Today

Today's choice in footwear:

Argyle socks and rubber-polka-dotted-rain-boots!

[A message to Becky: I didn't make it to the shoe store this past weekend, so I didn't get to partake in the shoe sales...what all did you get?? You should be posting this stuff! :)]

Not a lot of time today, have to hammer down and get some work out in addition to packing my things as we are moving to a new desks this week. When I saw we, I mean the entire structures group. Besides lack of storage for my many books and building codes; as well as the fear that now everyone will see me crying at my desk, I'm really looking forward to the change!

Word...
fojo: Female mojo

Your Mask Gave Me A Nightmare!

Today's foot wear of choice...

Yippee Kay Ya

So last night I had a dream that involved three things. Riley in an aquarium, me shooting a Tommy gun, and masks. I don't know if these were separate dreams or one congealed blob of blur that had me waking in a sweaty panic, but this is how it goes...

I'm at some type of public aquarium, were turtles and schools of fish are on display. There is a pool with a hip height railing around it so that viewers may stand and look down into the clear open water. The far wall was a giant glass tank with much larger creatures, one of which was a squid. For some reason I had Riley with me. While I was preoccupied with trying to keep a turtle from eating my bare toes [why was I without shoes?], Riley jumped into the water, started swimming around and ducking his head into the water trying to eat the schools of fish! Once I was able to get him out of the water, we went to dry off and that is when I learned we both had the flu. Yep, that's right, me and Riley had the flu!

While Riley and I are "quarantined" in an old abandoned office space [that just happened to have old drafting tables set up in a classroom type setting], I found an old Tommy gun inside a desk. Having always wanted to fire one to hear the onomatopoeic "tat-tat-tat", I recovered it from its hiding spot, loaded her up, and took aim at a wall opposite me. I shot right through the wall and freed myself and Riley from our "prison". The movements in this segment were exaggerated and larger than life, much like films portraying the Prohibition era [imagine Bonnie and Clyde hanging out an old Ford V-8 firing away behind them in an erratic chase]!

At this point it gets sketchy. I don't know if I was in the Australian outback where I presume my subconscious led me or if I was just in an arid and dusty plains somewhere in the middle of the US. In any case I was now alone. In fact it seemed to me as if having Riley with me was a dream [a dream within a dream?].

I skulked along peering around boulders and patches of tall grasses having the feeling of being chased by something. I knew I had to get out of this location but I didn't know where to go. After what seemed like countless hours I peered around a boulder to see a man wearing a mask. It was in fact THIS MASK [thanks to @FrankieP, it is in fact him in that creepy mask]. The entire time this was happening, I felt as if I carried knowledge of something very secretive. The masked person was after me. I only got as close as 50 feet before I startled myself upright in bed with a sheeny dew of perspiration to sheathe my face and neck.

I've told you before, and I will tell you again, I have mask and painted-face-aphobia! Does it to me every time!

I have reasons why I think I dreamed all of this, and perhaps later I can elaborate, but for now, work beckons [in its bastardy whiny voice]!

Word...
pancake:

1. To end a relationship suddenly.
2. To get dumped by someone and remain clueless to the reason.

Worried Over-Protective Friend?

..thunk-thunk..thunk-thunk..thunk-thunk...that's the sound of my plaid chucks as they slap the concrete walkways of the empty office. They seem louder than normal, probably because it's so quiet, but also perhaps because I walk with a heavy thud when I'm depressed. I shouldn't be depressed, after all I ran a lot this weekend. Yesterday I did my first 5k, today I ran 2 miles. This entire weekend I've eaten more chocolate than I ever should have thought about consuming for an entire month [but really that is a depressing thought]. I even got some shopping done for clothes that fit a bit better!

But, alas, I am depressed. I've worked most of the weekend on a building that I am starting to hate [cantilevers are the bane of my existence]. I'd love to talk more about it, but due to some confidentiality contracts, I can't tell you anything about it.

I'm also really worried about my friend Shane. I haven't heard from him in some time. I don't expect to hear from him; I won't really ever hear from him until he needs something from me. It's sort of how it works, user (him), usee (me)...I'm sure some of you can relate to at least being one or the other, dragged along in some hopeless charade. That is despite the point; my point is that normally he at least checks his e-mail and responds with some insignificant arrogant remark; often he at least posts some video of some song to entertain himself; or perhaps at least signs in to myspace. I haven't seen him around anywhere. That worries me, I hope he is okay and perhaps just busy! I fear he could be in the hospital, which is not unheard of for him. I fear worse that he could be [gulp] dead. I know, I know, I know..."stop being a mom", stop thinking the worst", "gosh, can't a guy just get some air", "let go"....but when I'm having nightmares about it, I think you should understand it's a bit harder to just stop worrying than you think it is for me.

You've been there right, worrying? A lump in your throat, the constant inability to focus on a task, the chest aches...

I'm being silly right? Tell me I'm being a silly over-protective friend!

ANYWAY, back to anything else to talk about...I'm back at the office, to work in the dark, in the heat, and alone [the best way to be]. I have a mental list of things to hammer out before I leave tonight [that is a great visual, me, my hammer in hand, beating things to total uselessness, if you could only see my awful smirk].

I've got to get to it, so perhaps I will write more later, but until then, here is a word for the weekend's end...

reefy: Cool or awesome. Often preceded by "so" and used by surfers.

Still Alive ... My Dreams Encourage Otherwise

I had a [sadly] pleasant dream about the suicide rates of engineers and exam takers. I also have a vicious canker sore. I think these are both signs of severe stress. [Those are among other stressors I shall fail to mention here.] The good news though, is that with this level of stress, mosquitoes will leave my ass alone.

Now, on the note of asses I would like to mention to you that my language is part of me; as are my topics. I realize these may be inappropriate at times. If you find this to be the case, don't read anything I write. Simple answer! If you think your mom doesn't want you reading it, then you are probably too young to be on the computer.

Despite what you may believe, I am in a decent mood today, music is helping [as we speak, a little Sunday Girl by Blondie]. I think I'll recap how my week has been going thus far though...

...Monday, a day of meetings and an impromptu conference call...

Webex...woo...	Excitement!

...that led to the following...

Reminder Doodle	Random Phone Doodle
What??

-------
Yesterday I sat in meetings from noon until when I left and didn't get to pee at all, mind you this was after drinking loads of tea all morning! It produced the following kind of doodle...

------
So now here we are on Wednesday and my brain is sucked dry so I wear the funkiest thing I can find, completely by accident...


-----
It's okay though. I've made it through some very rough days lately. Lots of crying, lots of anger, lots of stress. If I can get through this alive, I'm sure I'll have plenty more stories to tell.

I plan on blogging later to include some quotes of late; perhaps a story about me, eva, and odd children.

Please comment and leave me a link of some good comic, some interesting story, or even a video (music or show).

Thanks!

Word...
peace easy: A lovely combination of "peace out" and "take it easy" for those too lazy or too busy to say both. Double the meaning, half the time.

I Really Am Twisted, Here Is Why . . .

I found these comics today. I didn't get through all of them yet. Here are a few I liked...

I relate...


Pretty much feels like all of my social interactions...


Dad...


I fucking love my shoes...


It's never enough, probably never will be...


I want to go, why won't you all let me go... (oh wait, the water)


I have nightmares about green water, and I laughed at this...


I wish this was true...


Rarely is it the thought that counts...


I laughed at this...


I have a shield around my heart for this very reason...


You have to go with your first thought...always like your first answer on a test...

Go check out some more at asofterworld.com.

Word...
geeked:

1. Stimulated or energized.
2.Mind totally blown from excessive use of an upper.

Maker, Day 2

Dear Maker,

Hi, it's me again. Are you mad at me? I kind of feel like you are mad at me. It's okay if you are, I just want to know. Some of us are, well you know, not omniscient!



The thing is, I need to mentally prepare myself for things like your anger or your punishments. I've heard the stories of said anger. I had sort of hoped the Apocalypse would come yesterday. In fact, I am sure there were a few of us waiting, but I don't belong to that cult so I don't really know (I didn't like their choice of shoes). I sort of have my own cult, I'm the only member (I don't have creepy enough eyes to get followers). Anyway, off topic as usual! Back to my lack of Apocalypse, it's okay, I get it, there were some others asking for a non-Apocalyptic day. We just can't please everyone can we? [me now winking at God with mouth half opened as any proper wink should be performed]

I should also take this opportunity to say that there are people here (I'm sure you know, being omniscient and all) that are improperly using what you gave them (i.e., brains, or wait, did you forget some people when handing out brains?). I find it really annoying. For example, Winkers. These are wrong, I disapprove. What can you about this?

I realize that there are more important things happening in the world for which I should focus, but my altruism just isn't here today; and you know I'm altruistic about doing the right things! Please forgive me.

Anyway, I have to get back to working on the most impossible building. [me now having tears welling up in eyes while my chest tightens]

Skeptically Your Apostate,
Me


Word...
Hasselhoffing: The act of changing a colleague's desktop wallpaper to display the manly physique of David Hasselhoff. [Ed. Note: I expect someone I know to do this to someone they work with (pics required) for my amusement. I kind of think Ray would be a fun target, but that's just because he can take a joke]

Oh Well, I Bought More Shoes

So I just added an automatic twitter feed for my blog. Not too excited about it because I like to add the feeds myself so that I essentially have control over encouraging what things to read. Oh well, I'll try it and if I don't like it, gone! Anyway, this will be the first test of the feed, so, do your thing you magic maker!

Yesterday I felt overwhelmingly compelled to buy a pair of shoes for which I already had one pair. The thing is, I love those pink/grey plaid loafers. So, I gave into my compulsion and bought another pair (half a size smaller) as well as a pair of plaid Converse All-Stars. Cute, wearing them today. I don't match at all either. Again, oh well!

Yea, so that's about all I have. I did want to share this one picture though, because it's just cute!


[Rude Girl by Matt Mims, to see more by this fellow, click here! Thanks to @ibificus for this introduction]

Word...
B&BJ: A seedy hotel; the kind of place that may even rent rooms by the hour; a place you go solely for sex.

Wake Up Please

Last night I had a nightmare. It started out in my mom's house, except Chris and I were there but no one else. We had invited some talk show host over to the house as a surprise for Amanda because we knew she would want to meet him. We told Amanda and she was taken aback by the surprise, much as I expected her to do. Moments later she and I were sitting on the floor of my old bedroom; it was still tiny, same layout. We were talking when I noticed a small (1/2") spider. It was brown, fuzzy, and creeped me the fuck out! It was at this point that I saw the rest of the spiders, much larger, all over, and now crawling on me. They were all brown with black spots and fuzzy with beady black eyes that looked like an abyss. Amanda at this point left me and shut the door. I screamed for her, she did not come. I screamed for Chris and he laughed through the door. I screamed for anyone to help me and no one would. Broken hearted and crying, I tried smashing the spiders with a spare shoe but there were too many. I remember saying aloud "wake up wake up wake up please for the love of God" . . . and then, like a miracle I woke up. I shot straight up in bed! My heart was racing so fast I could feel it in my face and ears. I ungracefully flew out of bed and turned on the light, pulled back my blankets and even flipped the pillows. No spiders! I sat down and just took a minute to breath. Got up to flip the light off and shot a glance in the mirror to see the sweat that had accumulated on my face and neck. I took one more glance around, flipped the switched, and took a last stab at trying to sleep.

Word-
That's my word: Interjection used to reinforce a statement.
In Use:

Guy 1: Stay away from her, she's a skank!
Guy 2: No way, not her?!
Guy 1: That's my word!

Staying Sexy with Laughter

... ha ha ha ... give me a moment to control my laughter! Wow, I haven't laughed this much in ages. I know I know, you need an explanation ...

So for starters, let me say that you should check out the movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Now if you are Amanda, maybe you won't like it. It does however have Jason Mewes in the film. It's disturbing, [in fact hours since I've watched it and I'm still just as disturbed]. It's a good laugh though, or so I thought. NOT for children, in fact, it's barely suitable for adults!

What else is making me laugh today? I'm sure you could have guessed, but blogs! My beloved blogs!

Typically I step into the office, hit that button that makes my computer wake up, and then spend my beginning moments of work hoping for hysterical blogs. I didn't even get that far before I started laughing! It started well before I even got to the office! You see, this started while I was getting ready for work.

Ha, before we go with THAT thought, let me say NO, I wasn't laughing at myself in the mirror because of how hideous I looked when I woke up; let's just nip that joke in the bud!

Where was I, oh right, getting ready for work. I dressed nice (as nice as I can dress [cowboy boots]). I even put on makeup. Not just the makeup that covers my Pale Expressionless Face, but real makeup! During this time, Chris asked me if my blog buddy from Toronto was going to be in town. This made me laugh. It's a good thought, I rarely, and I mean rarely put effort into my appearance! Ask anyone I know; I care that I look presentable, clean, and unhippie-like; but as for makeup, I tend to find it a wasteful use of product and time! So I can see where one might come to the conclusion that I was trying to impress someone. And I don't try to impress just anyone, so yet another good conclusion drawn to my blog buddy from Toronto! Good conclusions! Funny though. Funny.

So I was finally ready, hit the trail we call Interstate 55 and trolleyed into work. I walk in, hit that button, prepare for blogs. I was not disappointed!

The first couple of blogs I read were not funny, entertaining, or anything really. They just are what they are, blogs I read. But then I got to the second of Janet's blogs. I was to say the least, intrigued. I read, became confused, started clicking links, became more confused, reread the blog, made sense of everything, and then reclicked links. Laughter ensued! Riotous good time I tell you! I encourage you to do the same. It's a great blog about a shitty hotel with great advertising. You have to check out the advertising agency as well. Open the link several times and notice how the website changes every time. EVERY TIME! I like these people!

Then I noticed there appears to be a book associated with this hotel/hostel/place. I think I need it! Thanks Janet, you are awesome!

I moved onto the HOK Life blog. Today's blog post that I read was from Mike P. He wrote about sustainability, a big topic with HOK. He always writes very well and always has the greatest titles to links. Just when you think a title might mean one thing, it ends up meaning something else. And really, can anyone deny a link titled Stay Sexy? I know I couldn't! I would encourage you to check out the article, then find out how to stay sexy baby!

You might be wondering why the last blog I talked about was funny. Well, in my head, Stay Sexy might have meant few clothes required for "Lightening One's Load". Ha, my mind, it's always in the gutter!

So, now, are you still wondering why I put makeup on and curled my hair? Photos today for work. That's all!

What is Twitter?

So yesterday I started a new blog at Wordpress. I didn't do it because I felt I needed yet another blog in addition to the one's I keep on Blogspot and MySpace. I did do it so I could learn it. In life's journey the least we can do for ourselves is learn things we would otherwise not get the chance to do if we were in another person's shoes (I hope those people have good shoes, I really like mine and would hate to trade for shoes I didn't like). Now, if you want to read that blog, you can go to stepharbogast.wordpress.com. The content there will be different than the content in any of my other blogs. In fact, I decided to write about the following subject: "What is Twitter?". On that note, I leave you now with the word of the day so that I can figure out what Twitter is, in order to write yet another blog today.

Mike C., if you are reading, YES those surgery pictures were disgusting, and YES, I do blog about 3 times a day, and I like it! Let me know if you need any help with anything.

nip slip: When a braless female's nipple accidentally slips out from under a loose-fitting garment. (Hint: Think Tara Reid).