Yes, I AM Pregnant

As many of you have heard, I'm pregnant.

Also, as many of you may know, I don't take serious things serious (unless you're talking about licensing exams, that's a whole different bucket of worms). For example, my pregnancy announcement to the world (via Facebook, heh) stated that I was parasitically infected. It's not a lie, pregnancy is in fact, until birth, just like being infected by a parasite (there is the minor difference of species variation, but for the sake of argument, just shut up and let it be).

Additionally, I compared babies to dogs. This is apparently not an accepted comparison, but think about it for a moment. You don't wash babies or dogs often as their skin is sensitive, you simply wipe them down often. There's a lot of teaching in the beginning, "don't beg for food", "don't put the knife in the socket", "go potty on the lawn", "go potty in the toilet". Dogs and newborn babies, sleep for 16-20 hours. Humans grow out of this habit, which is a bad thing. Dogs, the obviously smarter species do not grow out of this habit, though they are infinitely less productive!

For all of my current pregnancy mockery, I do not apologize, as it is after all ME. Would you expect less? Would you expect more? Didn't think so! I will however, to appease the masses (and myself just a tiny bit) share the joyfulness of this all with some images and info...

-Will you find out the gender? No

-So, are you calling the fetus 'it'? Yes, as well as 'him' out of habit, and 'Baby Yadi'

-What are you doing for the nursery? We'll be converting the sheep room (the sheep stay), it's already yellow so no need to redecorate.

-You are fairly psycho about the environment, so what are you doing about diapers? Preferably the G diapers, and even cloth, as you know, I'm opposed to destroying the environment for mere convenience. I will on occasion use what is available, but my goal is to minimize the impact of baby diapers in landfills!

-When are you due/How far along are you? I'm due around late November, early December. As of today (May 18, 2010), I'm 12 weeks (out of approx. 40 wks)

-What are you most excited about? My cousin's baby is due earlier in the year, so cousins will be of the same age; Santa Claus; school supplies; Christmas at Grandpa's.

-What about the dogs? I imagine Riley will take this all in very well. Bella, who is the baby of the house will be my problem. I anticipate carrying around a baby doll that whines to teach her what is allowed and not allowed from dogs around babies. Though stubborn (she IS a bully) she's smart, she'll learn, and she'll always be my baby girl as Riley will always be my baby boy!

-How are you feeling otherwise? Well, honestly, it's hard to be excited through all the nausea. Until Monday the 17th I had a vomit free pregnancy. It all changed with some projectile stuff accompanied by a severe headache and about 16-20 hours of sleep. I have otherwise been feeling okay. The nausea comes and goes all day long. Let's hope it passes. I want to throw out a huge thanks to Maureen for the suggestion of Greek yogurt. Others suggested it as well, but Maureen gave me some insider tips!

-Any names picked out? Nothing besides Yadier Molina.

-When are you going to start taking this seriously? What, I HAVE to do that?

-How many horror stories have you heard? Lucky for me, I avoid the people that tell me of horror stories, I can't deal with them. Instead, I hear from Maureen and Michel who are both very positive about their current and past pregnancies (respectively). SO, if you want to tell me about something good and positive, great! If you have a horror story, don't even bother!

Are you making anything for Baby Yadi? Yes, I plan on making a quilt out of all my old punk t-shirts I can't bear to toss but can't wear for one reason or another. Also, there is some scrap booking happening. Eva is drawing some stuff up for the room, I imagine Chris will make some kind of furniture, I expect at least one children's book from @ibificus, and I'm sure all my dog buddies on Twitter will work up some slimy drool kisses for me too (virtual drool works great for me)!

NOW...the images... [If you only see blobs in the ultrasounds, don't worry, that's really all they are...well that and a baby]

The image on the left is the 8 week ultrasound where you should see a blob/baby about the size of a kidney bean and the yolk sac. The image on the right is the 12 week ultrasound (bottom right is "3d") where you should see a lime sized blob/baby.

Ketchup Words

This is the t-shirt I bought today. Imagine if you will, the beasty creature as my dear beloved baby girl/princess Bella the Bully!


Words....

peen: A derogatory term used to denote someone who is annoying. Short for "penis".

Mormon Assault Vehicle: A station wagon, minivan, or any other kind of vehicle that is targeted at the "family" demographic. Also "M.A.V."

shoop: To have sex.

aibohphobia: The irrational fear of palindromes (words read the same forwards and backwards).

In Use:

Guy1: Hey what's your name?
Guy2: Bob.
Guy1: AAAAAAAHHHHH! (runs and hides behind sofa)
Guy2: wow
Guy1: AAAAAAHHHHHH! (runs and falls down stairs)

Shitty in General

Quickly bringing you up to speed:

Saturday Eva threw me a birthday party. We went bowling at Pin-Up Bowl. Then we went to her house for a bonfire. I got way too drunk to know what I was doing, but tried opening gifts. Opened an embarrassing box of sheep (thanks Rob and Brandy, it was cute, and very thoughtful), told people they could eff off (lol, it's like my new thing to do these days), dragged my brother into things he didn't want to be involved in (no wonder he doesn't really like me). I was crying because I'm old and I feel like an idiot and the anxiety I have these days is beyond overwhelming. I made myself throw up because the amount of alcohol I had in my system was too much for me to manage. Glad that is over with! I did get some really great gifts though.

Sunday morning, a knock on the door, I answer to see our neighbor Jim. He looks alarmed, proceeds to tell me that someone busted out my car window. I was so confused I just nodded and looked from him to the car several times. I dressed and looked. I lost all faith in humanity. I am angry and hateful. I slept all day Sunday since no one would help me become totally obliterated. Someone threw a fist sized rock so hard through my window that it bounced off the opposite side door panel and broke that as well. Still waiting to hear from the insurance company.

Among other things about last week, which was shitty in general (turned 30, heartbreak, I was annoyed by coworkers, had too much anxiety about the party, had jobs creep up on me causing lots of stress, wanted to cry most nights, did cry a few nights, told that our structures group is moving in the office thus loosing space, Ruben is officially out of our department, Andrew is now part time in our department) work was more stressful than I'd ever like it to be for me.

Finished reading You Suck by Christopher Moore, brilliant stuff.

Started reading The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. 33 pages in and I'm already crying and thinking of the people I should call to tell them that I love them, just in case I should die tomorrow, today even.

. . . to Kelly if you are reading this, we both know Mike wants to keep you, and I would venture to guess you know I think we should get to keep you too, but in all seriousness, you are awesome and I haven't seen Mike this alive in many years. So even if we can't keep you (which I think we should get to) thanks. It's good to see friends happy!

. . . to Becky, dude, I am sorry for laying on your boyfriend. He's like a teddy Bear and he was laying on the couch where I wanted to be . . . sorry dude. It won't happen again; and you were looking totally cute on Saturday, don't know if I told you that or not!

. . . to my sister who so awesomely gave me a link for T-Shirts that I've been wanting to get; 80stees.com . . . I'm thinking for sure a Ghostbuster's T-shirt.

So onto today:

Read Janet's blog, and saw these posters . . . done by graphic designer Stephan Massed-Bidal. He takes odd, and old images and then pairs them with a quote. Different, which is exactly what I was looking for this morning.

Words that I have not given you:

eco porn: A corporate advertisement that extols the company's environmental record or policies, usually by a company known to rape and pillage the environment as often as possible.

prevert: A softcore pervert. Someone who is in early stages of perversion.

effed in the a: A different way of saying, "Dude, we're screwed".

Clark Kent job: Your day job that pays the bills but is not what you really want to do.

So Did Anyone Find T-Shirts For Me To Buy?

Just so you know, I did bike today! Everything went smoothly, got here at my normal time.

I'd love to stick around and chat but I have lots to do today. I will have to update you on the work situations that have risen at a later blog. [Reminder of these work things: struct. moving in with arches; Andrew new position so struct. down to 6]

So did anyone find any cute/fun t-shirts for me to buy? I'm serious about wanting to get some more t-shirts . . . and, on that note, Kelly wants that bacon shirt from my earlier blog [hint hint].

Word of the day-
bagsy: To claim something for yourself. There is no higher authority than a bagsy; once someone has bagsy'd something it can't be taken away.

In Use: I bagsy my seat. I gotta take a leak.

I'm Looking for Fun T-Shirts

I'm curious to know how many individuals get the regular old run of the mill flu every year? How does this compare to the swine flu?




And on a similar subject, but not at all similar; terrible storms jarred through the Midwest last night. (3 casualties, similar to pandemic, see where I was going with that?)


I finished Dead and Gone last night, I'm still forming an opinion on the ending. It, as all the rest of those books, went way too quickly. I started reading You Suck, A Love Story. Chapter 2 is the best so far, hands down.

To Mike and Kelly I have this to say: I don't know what kind of crowd you run around with these days, but Bacon Lube with a little bit of mayo later is just horrifying! I hope you practice safe eating!




I'm looking for some fun t-shirts to buy (hence the displays today). If you find any good one's please let me know!

Word of the day-
press: To try to scare someone. [funny, that the press (meaning media) is scaring us with this whole flu thing]