Your Mask Gave Me A Nightmare!

Today's foot wear of choice...

Yippee Kay Ya

So last night I had a dream that involved three things. Riley in an aquarium, me shooting a Tommy gun, and masks. I don't know if these were separate dreams or one congealed blob of blur that had me waking in a sweaty panic, but this is how it goes...

I'm at some type of public aquarium, were turtles and schools of fish are on display. There is a pool with a hip height railing around it so that viewers may stand and look down into the clear open water. The far wall was a giant glass tank with much larger creatures, one of which was a squid. For some reason I had Riley with me. While I was preoccupied with trying to keep a turtle from eating my bare toes [why was I without shoes?], Riley jumped into the water, started swimming around and ducking his head into the water trying to eat the schools of fish! Once I was able to get him out of the water, we went to dry off and that is when I learned we both had the flu. Yep, that's right, me and Riley had the flu!

While Riley and I are "quarantined" in an old abandoned office space [that just happened to have old drafting tables set up in a classroom type setting], I found an old Tommy gun inside a desk. Having always wanted to fire one to hear the onomatopoeic "tat-tat-tat", I recovered it from its hiding spot, loaded her up, and took aim at a wall opposite me. I shot right through the wall and freed myself and Riley from our "prison". The movements in this segment were exaggerated and larger than life, much like films portraying the Prohibition era [imagine Bonnie and Clyde hanging out an old Ford V-8 firing away behind them in an erratic chase]!

At this point it gets sketchy. I don't know if I was in the Australian outback where I presume my subconscious led me or if I was just in an arid and dusty plains somewhere in the middle of the US. In any case I was now alone. In fact it seemed to me as if having Riley with me was a dream [a dream within a dream?].

I skulked along peering around boulders and patches of tall grasses having the feeling of being chased by something. I knew I had to get out of this location but I didn't know where to go. After what seemed like countless hours I peered around a boulder to see a man wearing a mask. It was in fact THIS MASK [thanks to @FrankieP, it is in fact him in that creepy mask]. The entire time this was happening, I felt as if I carried knowledge of something very secretive. The masked person was after me. I only got as close as 50 feet before I startled myself upright in bed with a sheeny dew of perspiration to sheathe my face and neck.

I've told you before, and I will tell you again, I have mask and painted-face-aphobia! Does it to me every time!

I have reasons why I think I dreamed all of this, and perhaps later I can elaborate, but for now, work beckons [in its bastardy whiny voice]!

Word...
pancake:

1. To end a relationship suddenly.
2. To get dumped by someone and remain clueless to the reason.

Worst Day Since Yesterday

So, have you ever thought to yourself that the whole world is caving in, and the best place to be is right smack dab in the middle of it, just to get life over with? I really hate for people to know I am depressed, but this is just one of those times that I cannot successfully hide it. I can't pretend. So I figure that if you are reading this, you either know me, and already know I'm waiting for the Apocalypse to finally come through; or you have no idea who I am and I can at least provide you with some good reading. Writing by the way, in my very sarcastic undertones can usually cheer me up some, I wonder if this is how Emily Dickenson felt!?!?

It's been a rough week, for me and others. I've got my own silly troubles to panic over. I bully my husband into doing whatever I unfairly want. I have a friend who passes out and has seizures on a regular basis that freaks me out every time, and I can do nothing to help, and he doesn't answer his phone. I have a friend in the hospital with rare pregnancy complications. Work is overwhelming. Chris has to find a new job when jobs just aren't available. I have a small handful of people that I talk to when I'm this stressed and depressed, but everyone is suffering about something so it's hard to vent when everyone else needs to borrow a shoulder to cry on. It seems like every day, something else gets added to this stack of things that I can barely deal with. I don't know how any of us are dealing with any of this stuff!

So my day started wryly at work when I was told there were problems with the project whose deadline is Thursday. There just isn't anything to ease this tension. The morning has just gotten worse when I received an e-mail that my friend's dad has 2-3 weeks left. It's hard news to take. I've listened to my friend talk about the ups and downs of his battle for some time now, and she's a very strong person, and will force herself to be strong for her siblings. Despite my very depressed mood, I will force myself to be strong for her, it's the very least I can do. I will cry though, like a baby (since I already am, I know it will be worse as time moves ahead).

So since she let me vent for a very long time yesterday at lunch, I will write about something that she mentioned she was waiting for me to write. My preparedness for the Apocalypse.

If there is any number one life lesson I have ever learned, it is that one should always carry a towel! Douglas Adams fans will understand this. Otherwise you should probably learn! I prefer to use mine to wipe my face after crying, which as you may know, I do often! The second thing I do to feel prepared for the Apocalypse is carry around a canned good as well as a granola bar. The granola bar is more ideal than canned goods because I'm not sure how to open a can with no can opener. I do carry a knife, which is vital, and number three on my preparedness list; however, I'm not too sure I can open a can with just a knife. Some very clever people would know, but I'm not one of those guys. Number four is merely a recommendation to carry around your passport at all times. You never know when you'll have to jump ship to a new country, so be ready. That applies to the Apocalypse, and life in general! A cup, preferably with a lid is number five. If you need to catch rain water, you will be so happy to have said cup. Number six is important to me, and would probably be number one if the others didn't seem so important, and this would be the few photographs I keep at my desk that have been dragged from school to my first job, and from there to my current employer. Sometimes those are what get me through, carrying them has gotten tedious, so for now, they are stowed at my desk so I can stare at them when needed. I won't elaborate on the exact nature of the photos, maybe one day you'll get to see if you are in there! Number seven is music, I don't know about you, but I imagine the Apocalypse being very loud and noisy. Now, it's possible that you would want your best ears on for hearing all of this ruckus, but I prefer to just block everything out with great music. Be sure to have a mixture so if you are sappy, you have music for that, and if you are feisty you have music for that! I plan on going out skankin'! Number eight, make sure to have a cell phone. Landlines are very very important for the Cell Phone Revolution! I can elaborate on that in another blog. But for the Apocalypse, have your cell phone, at least you can go out having a casual conversation with some one else who was smart enough to have prepared! Number nine, a camera. Yes, a camera! Yes Amanda, A CAMERA!!! Number ten is a notebook and pen to journal your adventures. Should anyone survive the Apocalypse, they'll want to know all the gritty details. Should no one survive the Apocalypse, future evolved generations of 'people' are going to learn to read our writings and will want to know all the gritty details. I'm sure you have questions like "what will you do with no power to charge your cell phone, camera, or music player?", and "will one can of soup do?", or even "won't you burn faster with so many combustibles?", don't fret, I am prepared to answer all of these questions, so please comment as you see fit and I will handle these as necessary!

Now, a very fitting and morose word of the day:

plead the Second: To whip out a gun, similar to pleading the 5th (remaining silent), except this refers to the Second Amendment of the US Constitution (right to bear arms).

I only choose to use the calendar's example because it is so damn funny to me! In use: When my PO was sweatin' me about why my whiz test turned up positive for coke, heroin, and seven varieties of elephant tranquilizers, I had no choice but to plead the second and put his narc ass in his place.