The Flatt 52 Photog

My friend Kelly has a new blog, a photo blog, I encourage you to visit it and check it out. It makes me want to have a photog sort of like the one I started to participate in, in 2009, Picture A Day with Madness. But then I think about being overwhelmed with everything I already attempt to do and I forget all about that...so I shall live through Kelly on this one...

Do enjoy... Flatt 52

Save The Elephants

I sign petitions and then wonder if they help. For example, a world can ban whaling, but Japan will whale anyway. Five million people could sign a petition, but does it help? If a world won't stop Japan, why do we believe that 5 million signatures would mean anything more or less to them? While I use Japan as my example, the thought applies to global parameters.

Does anyone know?

Anyway, I saw this post on Twitter from @ibificus. It made me think of two friends in particular (Kelly P.-F. and Amanda S.). I care too, so I signed. I want to pass this along. Browse the site, I encourage you to sign petitions you see relevant. If you find out how much help (or how little), let me know!

SAVE THE ELEPHANTS, a petition to help prevent the breaking of the worldwide ban on ivory trading.

A Necklace Made Me Cry

I got a package in the mail today. An unexpected package is almost always good! I looked it over to be sure it was safe. As you likely know, I'm paranoid enough to believe someone would mail me anthrax in an effort to murder me. Little does that person know, all they would have to do is send me some Blue Gatorade with cyanide and the problem is essentially solved! Anyway, off course here...mail...package...me. I noticed the package was in eco-friendly holiday shipping paper. While no name was on it, I recognized the address, Lami, St. Louis. Aha, my dear friend Kelly sent me a package.

Do I open it, do I not open it...what to do...gah, OPEN IT! Inside was a ribboned and wrapped box. I couldn't wait. I know, I know, I should have waited...but I couldn't, I was too excited! Inside was a beautiful necklace, and exactly the kind I like. A bronze colored simple but beautiful necklace!

It of course brought tears to my eyes.

So to Kelly, who may or may not read this...Thank You. Thank You for making me happy, for making me cry, for my gift. Mostly, thank you for being You!!

I Always Say Too Much!

Okay, I have an agenda of topics, so pardon my "bulleting"...I've had a magners, some chocolate, and a long effing week...buckle in and hold on to your britches!

ONE...I've decided to be Strawberry Shortcake for Halloween. I'd love to have the whole berry gang too, so if you feel compelled to dress up, and if you feel compelled to hang out with me [for plans yet undecided], then please, by all means, pick one of the gang and dress up with me! I plan on making my costume, but if I fall short on time I'll be dressing up in a premade sleazy Shortcake costume. Mike, you'd make a cute Huckleberry Pie. If we were talking in person I'd use my smirk to charm you into to it! ;)

TWO...this story was boring, I deleted it...I will assume you are grateful. Please save your thanks for later! [Had to do with me using power tools is all]

THREE...I was going to complain about going to the girly doctor. I even had it all written out. But, then I felt like it revealed too much medical information that I shouldn't share. I will assume you are grateful. Please save your thanks for later!

FOUR...So yesterday I got home from a really long day of work. I walk in to find out that my beautiful bully Bella was grey. You may not see the alarm in this, but you should know that she is a white furred doggie....covered in ashes from rolling in the burn pile. To say the least, I was not pleased, but this did mean that she and I had to shower together [the only real productive way to bathe a dog]. Here are some snapshots!

the bait	the beast	smile!

FIVE...Just a few things to some people who may or may not read any of this...Shane posted on Facebook today, he IS alive, I am completely elated with this knowledge, I hope to hear more! I am hoping @ibificus is enjoying his Friday that is leading to a hangover for Saturday...which is sure to be "impressive". Those boys in Ireland worry me sometimes! Speaking of boys in Ireland, another I'm sure I should worry about is @FrankieP. If there were ever a human that enjoyed scaring themselves, it would be him. I could see him dressing up in frightening costumes and then jumping in front of the mirror for the simple pleasure of the heart racing fright he might get! He inspired a nightmare I had about a masked person. To @sheehanpaul, I hope you are enjoying your trip to the west coast of the US. You inspired a dream I had about a Tommy Gun [see nightmare link above]! To my sis Holly, I've not heard from you in days. Yes I am aware I should sign into MySpace more often, the phone works both ways, etc; anyway I hope you are well. Becky, I got the invite, I plan on attending the shower. Brandy, I got the invite, I plan on attending the party. Mike C., your birthday is approaching, what would you like to do? Kelly G., your birthday is approaching, I have some gift ideas! Kelly P.-F., we need to get together sometime for tea, popcorn, and board games!

Phew, that was a lot...now, your words...
peep this: similar to "check this out".
anysexual: One whose sexual preference is not limited to man or woman or both. Targets include dinosaurs, rocks, fish, plankton, and balloons. To see an anysexual, please peep this!

A Letter To My Friend

Dear Kelly P.-F.,

You should never have to worry about being forgiven by me when there was no wrong doing on your part! Things said in moments of shear panic and confusion always come out weird [trust me, I have had the most bizarre socially awkward moments due to my inability to be social]; and when the truth is blunt, no apology can make adjustments.

The things and phrases that haunt me today are all of my doing; my mean spirit and unkind wishes; my long time lack of concern about others in an effort to keep myself alive and/or sane; my complete insanity; etc. [you get the picture without me beating myself up further, right? *winking now*]

Fear not that you are an inadequate friend because you are around even when you suspect you are not! See below, you are always at my desk at work giving me the most beautiful smile that has ever been bestowed upon such a fine lady!



Besides, I've heard worse things that echo in my head. Don't be hard on yourself for the fates of others!

Love you always!
Me

Never Being Repaired

All of us will inevitably go through life with some terrible story that we will never forget until Alzheimer's or death. We'll each carry that story with us close to our hearts recalling every tiny detail as we remember them. It's hard to share those stories, for each time we tell them we realize how much we have forgotten, but we also recall how painful some of those details are to us. My story goes like this.

I was 15. My friend Kelly and I spent countless hours in her backyard escaping from reality. We knew everything about each other, that we were at least willing to share. As such, she knew how I wished my father dead. I did so nearly every day. I wanted him gone for the abuses he inflicted upon my brothers and my mother. Despite what I ever endured, it seemed nothing in comparison to my poor mom. She loved him so dearly, did she not see? Looking back from 15 years in the future, I now understand that she did see, and yet her love was unwavering. It is hard to not love someone when the love is there, even when that person breaks your heart continually. I will never say what I would have done in her situation, it is not for me to judge. I know what is considered the best decision, and it was tried but to no avail.

So it was a summer evening that my mom hurried over to Kelly's yard. Her face and eyes were red so I knew something was more serious than normal. It was this moment that I heard the first phrase that I would replay over and over in my head, "they say he has about 2 weeks left". I don't know that I said anything, how could I when the wind was knocked out of me. As soon as my mom was out of hearing range, Kelly said, "looks like you got your wish", yet other phrase I replay in my head. It's this phrase that haunts me to this very day. The phrase that has willed me to never use the word "hate" towards any individual, and the phrase that always makes me think wisely before any wishing is had.

I have to admit that I can't sufficiently recall the details of these two weeks at all. I had for some reason failed to believe that dad could die. He was the cat with nine proverbial lives. He'd lived through much worse. I saw him every day. Every day he lay in that damned hospital bed I would tell him about my daily adventures with Kelly. Surely he wasn't leaving.

At around 6 in the morning the phone rang. I answered at the same time my mom answered. I kept quiet, knowing I needed to hang up, but not wanting to sacrifice the knowledge of the call. The nurse told my mom that "he is slipping into a coma, perhaps having you here to talk to him will keep him from slipping too quickly, and if nothing else, your chance to say goodbye". It was only moments later that the four of us, mom, Dusty, Drew, and myself, were at the hospital, beside dad, who would never speak to us again.

Everyone told me how brave I had been, how it was difficult to go through this, and yet I was strong, not crying, not yielding to the stress. I needed to be strong for my mom, this was no time for faltering will. The reality was though, that it hadn't hit me yet. After a few days of enduring dad's coma, my aunt offered to take me and my brothers to her house for some sleep. I gladly accepted as I was exhausted and knew Drew wouldn't go without me. I walked into dad's room full of loved ones, walked passed the eyes watching me, and to dad's bedside. I looked at his yellowed face and leaned in to say "bye dad, love you". I gave him a kiss on his still lips. I will never forget the feeling of kissing someone and getting no response. It is the most unloved feeling I have ever known.

I don't recall leaving the room, but the next memories I have are of me sitting in the corridor outside his room crying for the first time. I have a memory of a nurse giving me a Popsicle. I know that Aunt JoAnne dropped Dusty off at home since that is where he wanted to be, while Drew and I chose to sleep at Aunt JoAnne's home. I awoke the next morning and was sat at the couch in the living room with Drew; Aunt Jo told us that our dad had died at 12:54 in the morning. I did not cry. I did not speak.

It was about 2 weeks after we buried my father when his dad, my grandpa, was over repairing the air conditioner. I was excited that I got to help! I couldn't wait to tell dad. I sat in his chair waiting for him to get home from work, and as time passed I thought he was running late. I walked to the window to peer out and saw his truck sitting in the drive way. It was this very moment that I finally understood that my dad was gone. He was never coming home, he would never hear my stories, he would never sit in his chair. I had my heart broken by him on many an occasion, but this time, it would never be repaired.

...A Continuation...

...to finish where I left off yesterday, poor Dave and Eric are trying to figure out who would change the locks while they were both away and also clean the backyard. Come to find out, there was a house down the street that had been foreclosed. The bank sent someone out to change the locks on the house and clean the debris from the backyard. Mistakenly, they got the wrong house. I find that stories like these only happen to people I know some how.

SO, what is your crazy story??!!??

Also, Kelly's mom, the lovely Ms. Tina Fisher, is totally up on her evil paybacks by knowing what an upper-decker happens to be. So for those of you that do not know, an upper-decker is when someone takes the lid off the tank of the toilet, does their business (a nasty number two), and puts the lid back! It's weird and evil!

Today was a long rough day of meetings that resulted in yet more bad note taking!



Favor time, I have a social media acquaintance, that for the purpose of this blog I am claiming as a friend, who has a poll on his site. It's a simple single question that I hope you will take the 30 seconds to go answer. It does me a favor and it does him a favor, and he is good people! So, go here, and thank you! If you have already done so, thank you so very much for being awesome!

Now, lastly I want to say thank you to Steph(aka Ironstef), Amanda, Mike C., Sharline, and Tina F. It is very rewarding when people comment on things I have written. It means you read! So thanks for checking my stuff out, I check your stuff out too! [Ed. Note, that sounds wrong...]

I'll have to give you today's word tomorrow!

I Feel Like Crap

I feel like crap today because I'm sick. Not pretend sick either, I've got the high fever, sore throat, achy body, pounding head, etc.

I shouldn't be at work, but I had to finish a few things up, so I came in today.

Good news is that on my way in, I ran into Amanda at Metrolink (or rather she stalked me to the Metrolink, which was lovely). Plus I'm leaving early anyway, so the day can't be all bad, right?

Thank you to those people that responded yesterday to tell me how they were doing! It's hard to keep up with people, so by you reading, and commenting, I got to see that everyone is surviving. Lots of ups and downs these days, the only thing we can do is keep our chins up! [Thanks to Becky J., Holly, Nicole, Mike P., Kelly, Amanda, Jen S.]

Since I'm not feeling well, I'm done writing for the day.

Word...
roll deep: Going somewhere with a large amount of people. Also "roll thick".
In Use: We rollin' twenty deep in da club.