Well I successfully pulled off the longest work weekend of my life time. Okay, so maybe there was a worse one from college. I think what made this one so much more difficult is the combination of just being depressed and being sick. I need sleep bad, I am so tired and exhausted and lacking adequate oxygen I think! Throwing up sounds appealing at the moment!
It felt good yesterday to get a proverbial pat on the back from Andrew. It was nice to feel as though I helped and was wanted around. The feeling only lasted a little bit, but was nice when it was there.
So other things that happened this weekend: I have planned to meet Shane for tea in Dublin; got my tix for the London show of a lifetime; got the call that Amanda's grandma passed away (I had known it was coming since Dad passed away, their health seemed tied together); got a new dosage and variety of meds (which are so-so); made Andrew laugh during a hectic weekend (which was nice to see); Rachel K.'s shower got postponed (she and not-yet-born baby are doing well in the hospital); found out some one broke into our camper while in storage and stole my camping chairs (fuckers)!
So I guess I want to take a minute to say that I don't mean to scare people with my blogs. It's just how and where I vent. I can't say that I don't have myself scared, because frankly I am. I haven't felt this down and out in ages. I have my bouts, like the exam failing for example. But I rebound. I don't feel like I'm rebounding this time. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted, and ready to quit (yes quit everything). Thanks for caring though, and to offer to listen. It means a lot, but not as much as I think it should right now. The only thing I can really say about that right now is is "Don't Panic". I guess I at least found humor in the fact that Crystal thinks I hide depression well. I think if she knew me better she would see right through me! I also find humor in the fact that as depressed as I might be, I am still making terrible jokes, puns, and literary notes!
I would normally wrap the blog up about now and get to work. Screw that, I've been here working a lot lately, and I deserve a few minutes of blog time (or hours). So I can't think of anything to write, so I will wander back to my list of topics and write about one of those; that topic will be guitars! I do love music, so what better a way to try and cheer myself up than with a little bit of music talk! I can't get enough music ever! So here we go . . .
If you put your headphones on, and flip through your music player to
Redemption Song by Bob Marley you hear the beginning of the song start with the soothing sound of stings being plucked over a hollow body called the acoustic guitar. The way this works is that the strings have individual resonant frequencies that produce a specific tone based on the vibration over this hollow body. I won't dwell on this portion of my topic. While I am intrigued by all objects' resonant frequencies, I am sure you are not! If you listen closely enough, you can almost hear the sound of grooved fingerprinted surfaces sliding along the strings to the locations needed to produce the sound required. It is the simplest of notes it seems. Daaa da da daa da da dada; daa da dada dadada daaa. I could replay the beginning of that song over and over and over again! It's a great song with my favorite lyrics being "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds".
Another song that I love to hear the guitar played to is
I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie. It's another song where you hear the subtle shrieks of hand movement along the guitar neck. Another detail that makes this song so beautiful to me is the breathing you hear in the beginning guitar solo. Never paid attention to it? Well put the headphones back on, scroll through to the song, and hit play! Listen intently to the music, you'll hear the subtle sounds of hand movement and breathing. Lyrically, it's a beautiful song too. I think everyone wants to know that some one would feel that way about them; "If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark". If you feel that way about some one, please tell them! They may not know, and it may be the thing that keeps them from going insane!
Next on my list is
Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley. I've mentioned this in a blog before. The breath, almost a sigh perhaps at the beginning of the song. Then a guitar solo that really goes from just an intro to a climax that ultimately leads into the song with some lyrics such as "your faith was strong but you needed proof", and "love is not a victory march; it's a cold and it's broken hallelujah". Brilliant!
We move along to something different, to say
The Ol' Beggars Bush by Flogging Molly where the guitar is the blank canvas so to speak. It's melodic, but not overpowering so that the other instruments and singing are what promenade out of the headphones into your ears.
Then there are songs like
Old Friend by Rancid where the guitar provides the base, but without that sound, the song would not be the same. It's the quick poppy sounds that really help make it identifiable and unique. Of course the lyrics are brilliant to me as well. "Good morning heartache; you're like an old friend; come and see me again". Ain't that the damned truth!
There are songs like
Rock This Town by Stray Cats. It's fast and upbeat, but it's the base guitar that really sets the mood with the drums dancing right along side. The guitar jumps in with his quick movements that really make you think the guitarists fingers are going to get stuck and tangled in the guitar's strings!
Then there are the songs where the guitar is fast and furious and played with a heavy fist of fury, great for those moods where hitting something seems appropriate. Gosh, I have so many songs here I can't give you one example!! Imagine that, I would have music for the "hitting something" mood!
And just for Mike H. (who played
Redemption Song for me on his acoustic guitar once); the Ramones! Ha, go on your tangent! I still love them, always will; so to your argument I say "whatever"!
So, I could really talk hours on this subject, there are a lot of songs I love. I want to know what songs are yours! What songs could you not live without hearing? Is it the guitar or drums or voices that get your thoughts into another state of mind? What kick have you been on lately?
Words of the weekend and today:
peasantvision: Television channels you get without a cable or satellite TV subscription.
nillionaire: Person without any money of their own.
