Nightmares...Again

I’ve been having nightmares again. They seemed to lessen for a period of time for a couple months at most, but a couple of months is far greater than you can imagine when it comes to impeding my sleep. They are back and I don't know why. Stress? Lowered immune system? Actual fear? I just can't figure it out. Here are some of the details, perhaps you have some insight.

Often times my nightmare consists of me looking for something. After awaking, I rarely remember what it was that I looked for...I just know that in my dream I am looking for something. In this process I walk into rooms and become startled. Take a moment to follow this thought with me...you walk into a room that you think is empty and suddenly realize someone is in the room; or similarly let's say you have a large doll/mannequin/masks/human-sized-cardboard-cutout...sometimes you might catch this out of the corner of your eye and it startles you because you think someone is there for the briefest of moments. Whatever the case may be, it is momentarily frightening, causing your heart to feel as though it's pounding in your throat along with the confusion that comes along that causes you to glance back every now and again to be sure! In my dreams, while searching, I will catch something out of the corner of my eye. My heart races and I am consumed with fear but when I glance over to see who or what is there, it usually turns out to be a mask. There are several masks I see over and over again, though my mind has seen many in dream form. I can only show you one of the masks by photo but the others may be mere figments of my imagination as I can’t recall where I would have seen them in the real world (one appearing to be a human face simply peeled away from the body and limply laying right side out; the other is a very fine porcelain mask with feminine features but painted in a sparkly blue paint. Think pretty Blue Man Group with cats eyes. It ties in the back with light pink satin ribbon).

Last night’s dreams were much different than my typical. There were two distinct dreams I awoke from startled. The first that I can’t quite recall much about had to do with my teeth. My teeth had been wired shut and the moment I took the wiring off, my teeth cracked and fell out. While very little was left in my gums, what remained were shards of bony tooth that cut the inside of my mouth.

The second of dreams I had was about water, one of my biggest fears. I was in charge of getting a ’63 split back Corvette (black and white with smooth dark grey interior…so nice I could have licked it if it were real) overseas. As part of the transport, I was to follow the shipping container that contained the most beautiful car known to man. As it goes, I was on a ship outside of the cabin. The sea was rough and I didn’t have a life preserver. I was holding onto a post for dear life as the ship rocked to and fro with water splashing all around. The water was a dark green that couldn’t be seen into, and the last memory of that dream I have is being startled awake as the ship tipped over to its side. When I awoke my hands were cold and clinched so tightly into fists that my fingernails had dug into the flesh of my palms.

[As a side note, I want to send many thanks to Drew for making a donation to my 5k! Awesome support! Thanks so much baby bro, you rock, and I still have your birthday present in my backpack!] [Also, if you are wondering, donations can still be made]

Your Mask Gave Me A Nightmare!

Today's foot wear of choice...

Yippee Kay Ya

So last night I had a dream that involved three things. Riley in an aquarium, me shooting a Tommy gun, and masks. I don't know if these were separate dreams or one congealed blob of blur that had me waking in a sweaty panic, but this is how it goes...

I'm at some type of public aquarium, were turtles and schools of fish are on display. There is a pool with a hip height railing around it so that viewers may stand and look down into the clear open water. The far wall was a giant glass tank with much larger creatures, one of which was a squid. For some reason I had Riley with me. While I was preoccupied with trying to keep a turtle from eating my bare toes [why was I without shoes?], Riley jumped into the water, started swimming around and ducking his head into the water trying to eat the schools of fish! Once I was able to get him out of the water, we went to dry off and that is when I learned we both had the flu. Yep, that's right, me and Riley had the flu!

While Riley and I are "quarantined" in an old abandoned office space [that just happened to have old drafting tables set up in a classroom type setting], I found an old Tommy gun inside a desk. Having always wanted to fire one to hear the onomatopoeic "tat-tat-tat", I recovered it from its hiding spot, loaded her up, and took aim at a wall opposite me. I shot right through the wall and freed myself and Riley from our "prison". The movements in this segment were exaggerated and larger than life, much like films portraying the Prohibition era [imagine Bonnie and Clyde hanging out an old Ford V-8 firing away behind them in an erratic chase]!

At this point it gets sketchy. I don't know if I was in the Australian outback where I presume my subconscious led me or if I was just in an arid and dusty plains somewhere in the middle of the US. In any case I was now alone. In fact it seemed to me as if having Riley with me was a dream [a dream within a dream?].

I skulked along peering around boulders and patches of tall grasses having the feeling of being chased by something. I knew I had to get out of this location but I didn't know where to go. After what seemed like countless hours I peered around a boulder to see a man wearing a mask. It was in fact THIS MASK [thanks to @FrankieP, it is in fact him in that creepy mask]. The entire time this was happening, I felt as if I carried knowledge of something very secretive. The masked person was after me. I only got as close as 50 feet before I startled myself upright in bed with a sheeny dew of perspiration to sheathe my face and neck.

I've told you before, and I will tell you again, I have mask and painted-face-aphobia! Does it to me every time!

I have reasons why I think I dreamed all of this, and perhaps later I can elaborate, but for now, work beckons [in its bastardy whiny voice]!

Word...
pancake:

1. To end a relationship suddenly.
2. To get dumped by someone and remain clueless to the reason.

Making Me Laugh

I wanted to share a few thing because they made me laugh. It's very important to laugh, otherwise we aren't laughing! :)


[Via Guy and Rodd]


[Via Janet's ThinkReallyBig Blog via tappening.com]

Word...
sleep slut: One who sleeps frequently and is able to accumulate many hours of sleep. Sleep sluts are able to fall asleep indiscriminately and value sleep above all else.

My Dictionary

I've been told by a few random (and some more specific) people that I tend to use words that appear to be "made up". Now I admit that I do have a whole vocabulary of words that I use that are probably not in any dictionary. One for instance is "hippie-fied". Or another for example is "bloggy". There are however words that I love to use that happen to be real words (believe it or not)! I thought that you, my loyal readers (thanks to all three of you), should have the benefit of seeing a small list of my favorite words, real and fake! [I have placed a link with each word that may or may not have anything to do with the word, it's just fun this way]

facetious: One my all time favorite words first noted in my brain by They Might Be Giants (stop squirming Mike). It means to be funny as opposed to being serious, as in, to joke with another. I tend to use it when asking someone if they are making fun of me rather than making a compliment!

idiosyncrasies (alt: idiosyncratic): I first heard this word on the History Channel when in high school and made a mental vow to use it at every opportunity I could. I have a feeling that instead of that mental note, the one that actually got interpreted by my brain was "become as idiosyncratic as often as possible". Oh well, you can't win them all. This word is meant to define an peculiar characteristic. As in, "Stephanie's usage of user-created words is very idiosyncratic making her a one of a kind writer'! [On a side note, I tend to leak sarcasm far too often]

onomatopoeia: a previously blogged term, I like to say this word. It may have nothing to do with a conversation at hand or a song I am listening to; it's just fun to say. It is defined as the word used to define/describe/verbalize a sound. For example, the word oink is defined as the sound a pig makes "oink".

bloggy: a word to define my mood. I do not say that I feel like writing or that I am inspired; I choose to say "I feel bloggy".

percolator: A toaster for water.

obsequious: Another TMBG word (I mean it Mike, STOP squirming). Say it, OB-SEE-KWEE-US, see that was fun! It means to be subservient or submissive.

REVITized: To describe the transition from a two dimensional drawing into a 3 dimensional object.

eff: a shortened version of Fuck. Why shorten by only one letter? F looks unfinished.

sheepeses: Multiple sheep. Duh!

Jeepers Criminey: Okay, so this is more of a phrase, but I like it indeed. It's beats the heck out of shouting "mother effer", "Jesus Christ", or "Fookin' Fiddle Sticks".

I Even Smell Good Today

Okay, so I got a comment about my dream, and how odd it is, and that it will become my new nightmare. Here is the edited comment by Drew:

"u have some weird dreams. first dead people now bathing stuff... its gonna become your new nightmare... bathin stuff... "

It's funny that you should mention that it will be my new nightmare, because I honestly am disgusted by baths. Showers all good (trust me, I am clean, I even smell good today); baths are disgusting cesspools of bacteria waiting to invade any orifice that they can. I also think that dirty pools of water, like mop buckets, sinks for dishes, etc. are similarly gross. The thought of me putting my hand into mucky water makes me want to vomit. So really, I have no idea how I thought this dream was calming!!!

Bathing Someone Dear to Me

I did have a dream I wanted to write down when I got up this morning and forgot about. What I meant to say was this: I recall the part of the dream I wanted to write down, I had forgotten to write it down when I got up this morning!

Anyway, in this dream I was washing a sidewalk and garage door. I had a wide mouth cup of soapy water, and a wash rag. I would soak the rag, then gently wash the garage door, rinse and wring the rag in the cup of soapy water, then soak it again in the same water. Repeat. I was very gentle, as if I were bathing another human being. I washed the door, and even though I wasn't tall enough to reach the top, I still some how managed to wash it. Then I moved to the sills and washed them. All of this in the same gentle and repetitive motions of bathing someone dear to me. The association of me washing as though I were bathing someone was a really strong feeling, as if I wanted to be bathing someone dear to me. Eventually I had moved all the way down to the sidewalk. I sat and washed the sidewalk as gently as I had washed the door. Even though the surface was gritty and rough and catching the rag as it ran across, it never seemed to deteriorate my wash rag. Throughout this dream, when I felt the water was too dirty, I would take it somewhere, pour it out and replenish my warm soapy water. I don't recall doing this action, but I know it was happening. The one time that I can recall pouring out dirty water, I noticed that the water was dirty, but not terrible. I just wanted the freshest, warmest, soapiest water to continue with my task. There was a visible difference in the locations I had washed versus the locations I had not washed.

It was a very calming and comforting dream.